Words We'll Say in Greeting
by Artemis08Luna
Summary: Kara has two soulmates; she knows this by the elegant script on the middle of her back that says "Green Arrow" and the almost childlike handwriting on her shoulder blade that reads "You're on fire!" She doesn't know what's more absurd: that one of her soulmates' first words to her will involve arrows, or that she will apparently catch fire in front of the other. (KARIVARRY)
1. One: Kara

_AN: so soulmate aus are beautiful, injustice 2 is the batman v superman movie we should've had, i love writing kara's perspective because kara is beautiful and she is sunshine and she must be protected at all costs_

 _AND THUS, ALL THESE FACTORS ARE WHAT COMPELLED ME TO CREATE THIS._

* * *

She's twelve. She's already twelve, and she's yet to get her words.

As far as she's been informed, everyone in the whole universe gets them: the words their soulmate utters to them when they first meet, inked somewhere on their skin.

 _Soulmate_ , on the other hand, is the official name for the person who is meant to be someone's life partner. Ultimately, once the words are said and a connection is established, it'll be up to the soulmates to decide how their relationship will build up from there. It's almost always bound to turn romantic, not because they _have_ to but because the deep emotional connection that is shared between the soulmates is practically impossible to resist.

It's extremely rare for soulmates to decide on a platonic relationship, and even rarer to reject your soulmate. To have to reject your soulmate… she's heard that it can be so traumatic for both parties that it has been known to kill, but happens so scarcely.

According to her mother, it's rare to find someone over the age of ten with their skin still unmarked, like her case; rare, yes, but not unheard of.

Her parents, they're the lucky ones. They're each other's soulmates, having found each other early in life, and she can't help but want that _now_. She often catches herself wondering about her own happily ever after, and it's close to impossible to have to imagine such scenarios without the words to start the fairytale in her head.

She's grumbling. She knows it's ridiculous, but it's irrational. She doesn't realize her muttering under her breath attracts someone's attention.

"You'll get your words soon enough, Kara," her Aunt Astra says as she steps towards her. At this point, she's so used to her aunt being able to see right through her, like always. She's almost sure her aunt knows her more than her own mother. Her aunt gives her a gentle embrace, to which she receives wholeheartedly.

Her fists tighten as she grasps at her aunt's robes. She's twelve — she's expected to act like the adult that she is — but she allows herself this one time to feel childish; it's Aunt Astra so it's a safe environment.

"It's not fair," she complains lightly. "Kal isn't even a year old, yet he already has his words." Kal-El is her baby cousin; his blue eyes and curly fringe are his most distinct features, besides being absurdly adorable. Written on his left ankle, there's a loopy fancy script that ironically reads _"Hi, er…. Hi."_

Her aunt loosens her hold on her and she takes that as an indication to let go, her arm falls useless to her sides. Her aunt bends down to meet her at eye-level, tapping her lightly on the nose in a playful manner. The mere action gets the desired effect: the corners of her eyes crinkle as the edges of her lips tug upwards; she's giggling, like the child she'd once been.

"Patience, little one."

She's then left to watch her aunt's robes billow in the breeze as she exits the room, possibly to attend to her duties. Her aunt's movements are fluid and precise, and she can't help but feel crestfallen for the woman. Her aunt is so fierce and formidable on the battlefield yet so kind and graceful in her judgment; it makes her heart pang at how her aunt still hasn't met the person who will utter the words _"Looks like we'll be here for a while"_ etched onto her palm in a messy handwriting. She's amazed at the woman's compassion and her willingness to trouble herself with her niece's silly little anxieties over not having her words when she herself hasn't even met her soulmate yet.

She briefly contemplates if her aunt's encouraging words are really meant for her, or for herself.

*—*—*—*—*

Just a week later — no, not even a full week, more like a little over five days later — aliens drop ships and soldiers all around Krypton, with the intention of conquering them through brute force. They're ugly creatures: extremely tall, bony, wrinkly and brown. They hold a tremendous amount of intellect, and they're about as intelligent as they are vicious.

Every Kryptonian fighter is deployed, every weapon available is fired, but the creatures — they call themselves the Dominators — are _ruthless_. They eradicate everything and everyone that gets in their way without even blinking.

Her aunt—

She's watching her aunt give her all in the battle that takes place everywhere; she prays to Rao her aunt comes out of this alive and that she comes out on top. She screams from her place by the window when Aunt Astra gets struck by a laser beam that hits the back of her head. The horrific scene of absolute gore and utter disbelief makes her regurgitate right there.

It's her mother who later finds her on her knees, still by the window, in a puddle of her vomit and tears.

"Aunt Astra's gone, she's gone, she's gone…"

She'll never get to meet Aunt Astra's soulmate.

Aunt Astra deserves more than what she got.

*—*—*—*—*

She feels like she's floating, and not at all in a good way. She feels like someone has tossed her into the ocean with an anvil chained to her feet. The pain, the loss, _everything_ weighs down on her as she tries to fight it but she can't. She can't. Just a couple of days ago, she'd been fretting about her words, or lack thereof. It'd been vapid at best, but it'd been simple… _manageable_. Her Aunt had just been there wrapped around her like she'd always been.

And now her beautiful, brave Aunt Astra is gone…

She isn't sure what she's supposed to do, so she runs. From her house's study, she dashes towards her room in seek of comfort. She hears voices from the living room, she slows down and tiptoes. It's her parents and Kal's parents.

"We don't have a choice, Lara!" Her father is saying to Kal's mother. "The Dominators… they've already destabilized Krypton's core."

"Lara," her mother says, much more gently than her father. "There's no other way to guarantee their safety."

Aunt Lara sobs, forehead connecting to Uncle Jor-El's shoulder as she cradles baby Kal closer to her.

Uncle Jor-El looks gravely ashen as he stares at his son, posture signaling defeat. "When?"

"At the rate we're seeing? Kara and Kal-El would have to be at least three lightyears away in the next two hours."

Her eyes widen as she stumbles back, words robbed from her. She wants to burst in; she wants to argue; she wants to yell at them. She wants to question just _why_ are they not thinking of themselves. She wants to reason with them, wants them to come too because they're family. Kal is just a _baby;_ he's going to need his parents.

But then she hears her mother's voice crack at the mere mention of her name, and she suddenly remembers there's only so much room in an escape pod for a single passenger.

Her shoulder blades meet the wall and she lets herself slide down.

As far as she knows, they only have two available pods.

*—*—*—*—*

Her mother's grasp on her hand hurts, but she doesn't dare tell her to let go, not when this is the last time she'll ever hold her hand. They're running to where they know her father is waiting, but they don't run at their top speed. Despite the urgency of the situation, she knows they both just want as much time to spend with each other as they can possibly get. She can hear the ticking in her head, drawing nearer and nearer to their doom.

She picks up on the telltale sound of take off. She looks up and doesn't miss the streak of light and smoke that shoots across the sky. That's it right there; that's her destiny literally being written in the stars before her eyes: to follow her cousin to the planet Earth, where she'll raise him, teach him their ways and protect him from danger. It's a mission she intends to fulfill, for Uncle Jor-El and Aunt Lara.

She wishes she had the chance to say goodbye to her Aunt Astra just as she'd done with Kal's parents earlier. Oh but fate really is cruel when it wants to be.

Her father is there by her pod, waiting. Reading the tension in his shoulders, she can see the despondency he's so desperately trying to mask.

Her mother lets go as her father clutches her shoulder.

"Your pod's coordinates are interlocked with Kal-El's. You will follow him to Earth," he says in that stern voice she's used to hearing, and she's grateful for the bit of normalcy.

In the bravest tone she can muster, she replies, "I'm not afraid, Father." She pictures her Aunt Astra, tries to mimic how she holds herself in battle so she won't give away just how terrified she actually is.

"The trip is long," her mother says, "but you'll sleep most of the way. We'll be with you in your dreams. You'll journey to Earth to look after your baby cousin." She can't take the defeat in her mother's eyes, but she can't look away, not when she knows she's never going to see them again. "Because of the Earth's yellow sun, you'll have great powers on this planet. You will do extraordinary things."

"I won't fail Kal-El," she promises, "or you."

Her mother surges forward to plant a kiss on her forehead, and the back of her mind reminds her that this is the last time she'll ever get her mother's maternal affection and guidance. She takes it; she takes it all. "Don't you ever forget, Kara. You belong to the House of El, a house of hope. In your darkest moments, never give up hope. I love you."

She's about to say it back — to attempt to convey all her emotions, everything she's thinking, all her fears, how it _physically hurts_ to have to leave them — into those three words, but they get caught in her throat.

Somewhere in the building, an explosion reverberates and they all know the Dominators are closing in. Before she knows it, she's shoved into the pod, strapped in. The pod automatically senses her and the door locks. Her eyes snap to where her parents are—

She wishes she hasn't.

Dominators are there. Her father is lying motionless on the floor, eyes open and lifeless.

Her mother is being lifted into the air by a hand curled dangerously around her neck. She shrieks at the monsters to let her mother go, but her pod already takes off.

Her eyes are closing as coldness wraps around her, the pod readying her for hypersleep. She tries to fight it. All she wants to do is thrash around or turn the pod back around for her parents.

She can't do either. The cryochamber can't _not_ put her to sleep and the pod has a set destination.

Her eyes feel heavy.

It's cold.

The last thing she hears is an explosion.

*—*—*—*—*

She is jolted awake when her head bangs against the glass of her pod _hard_.

She's awake.

That means she's arrived.

She blinks as she takes in her surroundings: a barren empty desert. She's arrived, and she's alone. Kal's pod is nowhere to be found. She's just left her home only to find herself alone. Where's Kal?

 _Where's Kal?_

She becomes uneasy at the thought of her baby cousin alone. She panics at the idea of dying here _alone_ in a strange new planet.

Almost seemingly out of nowhere, there's a man standing in front of her pod, effortlessly ripping off the broken glass pane as if it were cellophane. Rationally, she should be scared, but she gets a clear view of the man's familiar features and she feels calm…

Perhaps it's the recognizable eyes or even the fringe?

No, on the man's chest is her family's coat of arms that perfectly matches hers albeit miniaturized.

It can't be… but she says it. "Kal?"

The man smiles warmly and extends a hand. "Hello, Kara."

*—*—*—*—*

She doesn't understand how she's able to walk, much less stand. All she wants is to do is go back to the bed, curl up and cry.

She just wants to _cry_ and be the child she never got to be.

Her cousin — her once baby cousin, now _a fully grown man_ — informs her that she's late by twenty-four years. She knows he's not purposefully being insensitive, that he's joking to lighten up the mood for her sake, but it doesn't work. Her perception of time is different from his. To him, all twenty-four years of his life, he's just a human with tremendous power. To her, it's only been a couple minutes — maybe an hour tops — since she's made a promise to Kal's parents and her parents. She promised she'd take care of him. Part of the reason why she'd agreed so easily is because she thought she'd have time to grieve over everything she's lost.

Watching over Kal-El is supposed to give her some sort of peace.

But no. Once again, fate decides to backhand her.

Her biggest dilemma in life was just supposed to be her not having her words, but then she had to watch Aunt Astra get shot in the head, had to watch her mother get strangled, had to live with the fact that her entire planet was blown to bits by aliens…

And now she's robbed of her plan of healing the way she'd wanted to by _twenty-four years_.

Kal squeezes her hand before letting go, only to drop to his knees to gather her petite frame in his arms. She wants to be mad at him, wants to tell him that she's far more mature than how he's treating her, but… she loves it.

"I'm sorry I'm late," she says lamely, desperately trying her best not to cry. She's already being childish by accepting the hug, she can't add sniveling to that.

"Doesn't matter to me, Kara. What matters is that you're here now. I'm really glad you're here." He sounds so sincere. She wants to be petty, to be bitter at the fact that Kal wasn't raised by her, but she can't; the people who raised him had clearly done a much better job than what she would have anyway.

The thought leaves a bitter aftertaste. "I… I was supposed to watch over you."

"I'm sure you would have done great."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, Kara. But right now, you'll need to stay with the Danvers, okay?"

"What? You're— We're… I'm not staying with you."

Kal-El stiffens at her defeated statement. He pulls back and looks at her gravely. "I can't… It's not that I don't want you around. You're family. But with me being Superman? It'd be too dangerous. I have a lot of enemies, and they will not hesitate to use you to get to me. You're still relatively new to this planet. You're still getting used to your new surroundings. With a longer exposure to the sun, you'll soon develop powers like mine, but until you are able to control them, you'll need to stay hidden."

She understands, she really does. Strategically, it's a reasonable request, but given what has just happened — at least, what _she_ thinks has just happened— she wants him to stay.

"The Danvers are great," he goes on. "They're scientists. They helped me understand my powers and how to use them."

She nods her understanding.

"Hey. Kara. Look at me." She doesn't realize she's been looking down. She lifts her head. "This isn't goodbye. Goodness, you just got here. Please remember, Metropolis isn't far from Midvale, so I'll always be around when you need me."

She wants to laugh at how ridiculous her life has turned out. "That's my line."

He laughs for the both of them. "You'll forgive me if I'll be the one who'll look after you here on out, _baby cousin_." He laughs harder when she hits his shoulder. "I'll come back soon, all right? I'll even bring Lois!"

Her nose wrinkles at the unfamiliarity of the name. "Lois?"

His smile goes tame and he blushes a little. "My soulmate."

Not even a year old and he'd gotten his words. And now she learns he, once again, has beaten her to meeting their respective soulmates. She can't bring herself to be mad, however, seeing how happy he is.

Her planet is dead. Everyone she knows is gone. It's not that she deserves to get her words now; it's that there's no one out there who should have her as a soulmate. They'll only end up with nothing but grief.

She smiles, much more genuinely now. "I can't wait to meet her."

*—*—*—*—*

Kal introduces her to the Danvers before flying off, promising to be back soon. The matriarch approaches her with great caution, not unlike she's inching towards a scared child. She then realizes she's still twelve or thirteen years old; in Krypton, she's a young adult but to a human, she's still a child. The woman gives her a kind smile, one that makes her feel warm inside.

"I know I'm not your mother, and I will never try to replace her, but you're safe now," the woman says. "My name is Eliza. And that man over there is my husband, Jeremiah. We'll be looking out for you from now on."

She nods, unsure of what else to do. The woman holds out her hand and she takes it.

This is the beginning of a rewritten chapter in her life.

*—*—*—*—*

Kara Zor-El is no more. From the ashes, Kara Danvers takes her place. Kara Zor-El is dead, but all of Kara Zor-El's baggage just has to be brought over to Kara Danvers. Logically, she knows just because she has shed her Kryptonian identity doesn't mean all her psychological trauma would magically go away, but there's no harm in hoping right?

Eliza and Jeremiah have another daughter, their actual biological daughter named Alex, and she's positively sure she hates her. She hasn't outright said it but it's clear in the way she glares at her over dinner, only to quickly cover it up with a faux smile that manages to pass genuine.

She understands her dislike; she's just some _alien_ her parents decided to take in. Any teenager would likely feel the same when their orderly routine has been shaken.

She just wishes Alex will someday warm up to her.

*—*—*—*—*

Her first day of school is... complicated, at best.

She doesn't understand the curriculum, not really.

The science and math are easy enough, she'd grown up on it. Seeing her excel in both areas, she is placed in pre-calculus (she'd already taken the full course of calculus at age four) and Advanced Science 8 (her father had taught her quantum physics and organic chemistry; granted she forgot a lot of it, but the basics they teach in this school is laughably easy).

English is simple, but literature is _hard_. She's never heard of a Shakespeare and it makes her wonder if she really needs to be acquainted with his work; they're poetic, she'll give him that but that's it.

Foreign language is a subject she's okay with. Her mother was a judicator, who found the use of learning different languages an asset in her line of work. She'd grown up listening to the different melodies and rhythms of the languages of different worlds that her mother had to learn. She ends up choosing ASL and French.

Social Studies are kicking her in the lungs repeatedly. She knows about her own planet's history, and twelve others. She doesn't know Earth's history or geography or governments; she literally crash-landed two days ago, give her a break!

But that's not all school's about, is it? Of course there's the social aspect to it.

Everyone avoids her like the plague.

Apparently, no one wants to be friends with the new girl who's way too smart, way too athletic (the yellow sun is doing wonders for her), way too hungry (again, the yellow sun is all the power source she needs, but food in this planet is actually better compared to Krypton; she doesn't understand why kids find the cafeteria food disgusting), and just plain _strange_ (it's not her fault her ears are sensitive to the bells and chattering, and that her eyes can suddenly see past lockers).

Kids in this world are cruel. They shove past each other in between classes, and give one another as bad a time as they can. At the end of the day, one boy makes fun of her for walking home instead of taking the bus.

She grits her teeth instead of yelling at him that she physically _can't_ without freaking out.

Kal wants her to have a normal human-type childhood. She's going to do her best to have one for his sake... it's just proving to be more difficult than she'd anticipated.

*—*—*—*—*

Jeremiah takes her out one day. Not _out_ out, just far enough that the house almost disappears into the horizon, overlooking the majesty of the sea by a cliffside.

They sit down on a bench, where she tries to sit casually, like how she's observed children in this world do. It's hard; she's trained from day one to have a posture so rigid, having to train herself out of it to slouch to appear more human proves to be a challenge.

"I made these for you," Jeremiah says with a kind smile. He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a pair of spectacles. She doesn't understand, her eyesight is perfect, much better since she's been soaking up the power of the Earth's yellow sunlight so why she'd need glasses is beyond her.

Her doubt must have been obvious because Jeremiah is chuckling. "The frames are lined with lead," he explains as he hands them to her. "They'll suppress your vision, help you fit it, help you make your life..." _More h_ _uman-like?_ "... easier." _Ah._

She puts them on and the whole world goes duller. Not in a less vibrant way, but a more manageable way that allows her to think; she can _focus_ much better now. There isn't a constant annoyance of seeing every single speck of dust that blows in the air around her anymore; her vision is back to the way it was before leaving Krypton.

She's thankful, so she conveys the message by saying just that.

*—*—*—*—*

A couple of days later, Kal makes good with his promise and comes back. This time, he's in a vehicle, driving, with a woman in the passenger seat.

"Hey, Kara!" Kal says as he exits his vehicle and approaches her.

He's dressed differently compared to last time: his hair is slicked back, meaning the curly fringe she's familiar with is gone; he's wearing glasses (lead-lined too, most-likely), a button up shirt, pants and leather shoes. It isn't just his outfit that's different, so is the way he carries himself. Last time she saw him, his posture had been straighter, looked more sure of himself, and just radiated confidence and strength. Now, he's clumsy, shy, almost like he doesn't want to call attention to himself if he sneezed wrong. If she doesn't know this man, she wouldn't have guessed he's Superman.

It's amazing how he's able to do that, all for the sake of his identity.

"Hi, Kal," she replies.

"Nice glasses!" He says. The way his lips tug upwards into an expression of pure earnest ecstasy makes her heart twinge in a bit of envy. She wonders when she'll be able to have that.

He shoots his arm to his side, to which the woman takes with a roll of her eyes. There's an ease about them that she only ever saw with her parents. She knows it's that soulmate bond between them, but there's something more. There's this trust that runs deep between them anyone can easily detect as they make their way to her. She doesn't know how long they've known each other, but it has to have been years, seeing them be so comfortable with each other. Even with the soulmate bond, most soulmates can't have that same level of reliance.

The woman, once close enough, extends the hand that isn't connected with Kal's towards. She is able to easily spot the words _"It's nice to meet you, Miss Lane"_ on her forearm.

"Hello, Kara. It's nice to finally meet you." She can tell the woman has a professional background; her poise is relaxed but straight, her smile is warm and inviting, her appearance seems to mean a great deal for her job, judging by the careful application of makeup.

She shakes the woman's hand cordially. "It's nice to meet you too, Ms. Lois Lane." That takes the woman aback just a bit. She lets her lip quirk upwards just a bit. Seeing Kal's reaction, this reaction isn't a typical one for the woman. "Sorry. Kal mentioned he'd already met his soulmate, that her name is Lois—"

"I didn't tell you her last name," Kal interjects.

One side of her lips curl higher; she revels in that feeling when people underestimate her. "Your— I can— I can see your words." She points at Lois' exposed forearm.

Kal laughs out loud, bringing Lois closer to his frame; the woman blushes slightly, looking a bit flustered. She feels right at home, so she laughs too.

*—*—*—*—*

Lois Lane, she later learns, is a no-nonsense woman with the wit and two Pulitzers to back that up (she doesn't know what a _Pulitzer_ entails but by the way Kal had said it, it's a huge honor), but she also has the tendency to become rattled and still find humor and irony in it. She can understand why Kal becomes a babbling mess of pride and adoration when he talks about her: she's his perfect match, a loving partner for Clark Kent and a journalist ready to expose the truth about anything with the aid of Superman.

By the time they have to get back to Metropolis, Lois has carefully instilled this idea of helping people with more than just a punch to defeat a criminal or flying a victim out of a burning building; words have an impact too.

*—*—*—*—*

She doesn't realize she's ripping her blanket seam by seam until she's literally punched in the face. If she hadn't had all that time soaking up the rays of the yellow sunlight, it would have hurt, but it didn't even sting.

Her hand flies to her cheek, more for shock than actual pain.

"Sorry," Alex says, standing over her. She's out of breath, sweaty and alarmed. It's quite literally the first thing Alex has said to her in the month she's been here. The hostile look in her eyes are non-existent; she actually looks apologetic. "You were... screaming in your sleep. I've been trying to wake you up, but you wouldn't..."

She nods; she doesn't mean it, but it comes out frantic.

"Does... Does it hurt?"

"No!" She winces at the volume. "No. It doesn't. Thank you. For waking me up."

"It's fine. I... I get nightmares too sometimes. Not as bad as yours, but... yeah."

Her head tilts in confusion. "Really?" Alex has the ideal life for a fourteen year old human girl. How could she possibly get nightmares?

Alex nods. "Yeah. Happens to the best of us." Alex steps back until the back of her knees hit her own bed, causing her to sit. Alex pats her bed in invitation.

She stares at Alex's hand for the longer part of half a minute. She meets Alex's eyes in a panic when she realizes what Alex means. "I can't! I-I have a perfectly good bed, I can't possibly disturb you further—"

Alex's snort cuts her off. "Please, Kara. I'm not offering for the sake of it. Hey, maybe I'll chase the bad dreams away."

"Really, Alex. It's okay. You've given me enough: half your room, half your closet... I—"

"Kara." The look Alex gives her is enough to make her cave.

She pushes her way out of her own twin-sized bed to get to Alex's full-sized one. As she settles in, Alex throws the covers over her body.

"Thank you," comes her meek response.

"Hey. What are sisters for?"

Her back is against Alex, so Alex doesn't see the way she beams fully. "Right. Sisters."

*—*—*—*—*

It's been a week, and she hates herself for not being able to keep the nightmares at bay. She hates herself for not being able to get in her new family's car. She hates herself for not being able to just. Move. _On_.

She tries. She really does, but the way she seizes up and the sudden thinning of air around her whenever she sees any sort of vehicle happens involuntarily and she _despises_ that about herself.

Eliza, Jeremiah and Kal all suggest therapy. Alex tells her to think about it.

She wants to _deny_. She wants to kick and scream and say _no_ , but one look at Kal-El and she can hear her father tell her sternly, _"It's for your own good."_

She accepts.

*—*—*—*—*

"Hello, Miss Danvers, how are you doing today?"

"Kara, please. And I'm doing well, thank you."

"All right then. Kara. My name is Dr. Quinzel, but you can call me Harleen. Do you know why you're here?"

Hands clench into fists. "My cou— My family thinks I should."

"But you don't."

"Logically, I know I should be here, but I highly think it's unnecessary."

"So, tell me why _should_ you be here?"

Hands wringing together. "I... I get nightmares every night and... I can't get into... small spaces."

"Okay. Let's start with the nightmares. Can you tell me what they're about?"

Breathe out. "My parents. My _aunt_." Force down sob. "Me... getting crushed. To death. By aste— by... boulders."

"What happened to your parents and aunt, Kara?"

Close eyes. "They... they were _murdered_. Right there, in front of me."

"Is that your fault?"

Tears ooze out on their own accord. "Yes! I was stuck that pod! I could've— I was stuck... for so, so long, helpless. I can't—" Breathe in. Breathe out. Fists relax. Fingers fiddle with blouse. "Why can't I be _okay_ again?"

"You _can_ be okay. And I'm not just saying that. From what I'm hearing, Kara, you're incredibly smart and insightful. Is you being stuck in a... pod?"

Eyes snap open. "I-I meant car, sorry."

"You don't need to apologize. Is you being stuck in a car for so long the reason why you can't get into tight spaces?"

Hands open, flat against lap. "I— Perhaps. I'm... Yes."

"So you're aware that you need to get over this traumatic event for you to be — as you say — _okay_ again."

"Yes! But _how?_ "

"Kara, my job isn't to tell you how. If it was, I'd be a counselor, not a therapist. I'm simply here to help you through it."

Bite back sarcasm. "I understand, Dr. Quinzel."

"It's Harleen, Miss Danvers."

"Harleen." Compose self. "How often would I need to see you?"

"That depends on how fast you get a hold of things. From what I'm seeing, I'd like to see you every week."

"Okay."

"And I'd like to start you on some anti-anxiety medication."

Panic. "U-Uh, no. Please. That won't be necessary."

"Will you tell me why you think it's unnecessary, Kara?"

Breathe. "I just..." _It won't work on me_. "I want to get over this _myself_. Without the need for drugs."

"Kara, the medication I'd prescribe you on won't—"

"No."

"All right, then. No medication. For now. But should your panic attacks get worse, Kara, I'm going to need to give you something. Nothing too bad, just a low dose of something like Prazosin or even Venlafaxine to help control the symptoms."

"I understand. I just... don't want it."

"Okay. Have you ever fainted from one of your panic attacks or unknowingly attacked anyone?"

Shake head. Don't think about accidentally hurting anyone with newly-developed strength. "No."

"All right. Same time, next week, Kara. I expect to see you again."

Nod. "You will."

"Oh and Kara, I know it's just words I'm saying at this point, but you have to learn to forgive yourself. That's the first step to being okay again."

*—*—*—*—*

"I told you we should've brought the umbrella!" Alex tells her as she quickly strips out of her soaking wet clothes.

"The sun was out this morning," she reasons as she takes off her top. Since that night of sharing Alex's bed, Alex has been diligently and patiently walking with Kara to school instead of taking the bus or having Jeremiah drop them off. "How was I supposed to know the weather was going to drastically change?"

Alex hops in her place as she puts on comfortable gray sweats. "I wish you had weather predicting po— oh wow, I didn't know you had two."

Her eyes widen. She looks down at her chest—

Alex laughs. "No, you freak. Your _words_."

She whirls around and, without meaning to, uses her speed to get to her sister. Alex is dazed for a second, but she's used to her randomly using her powers in the confines on their room. "I have my words?!"

Alex looks stunned. "You didn't _know_?"

She slaps her palm on her face. All this time, her words have been on her _back!_ And all she's done in Krypton is complain she hasn't gotten them yet. _Wonderful_.

"Apparently not," she answers.

"I didn't know aliens get the words too."

Her hand drops. " _Everyone_ in the universe gets them."

"Oh. Well... want me to read what they say? You can pick which one I can read first—"

"Wait, hold on. What do you mean?"

"Kara, it's a set."

There's a pause in the room to allow her to process what Alex has just said.

"I have two soulmates?"

"Yep, congratulations."

*—*—*—*—*

Instead of having to read them, Alex borrows her father's digital camera to take a picture of her shoulder blade and the middle of her back before transferring them to their laptop for her to view them.

On the middle of her back, just right below her shoulder blades, there is an elegant script that says _"Green Arrow,"_ which mildly perturbs her. What in the world would prompt her soulmate to say something about a colored arrow as their first greeting to her? Does that mean she _has_ to pick up archery?

The one on her shoulder blade disconcerts her even more, where an almost childlike handwriting reads _"You're on fire!"_

"I don't know if I should laugh at the thought of you being on fire in front of your soulmate, or keep you locked in here away from all fires forever."

She throws a pillow at Alex's face as an attempt to cover up how excited she is at finally getting her words, even though they're just a tad absurd.

(But hey, she's an alien trying to live her life as if she isn't, why _shouldn't_ her life be absurd?

Everything is okay. She can have her words. Krypton blowing up hadn't been her fault; it was the Dominators'.)

*—*—*—*—*

"Umm..."

Clark — not exactly Kal anymore, if at all; something she realized earlier after their fourth meeting: if Kara Zor-El is gone, so is Kal-El — grins at her good-naturedly, donned in his red and blue suit, still adorning their family's coat of arms. "We're not driving anywhere. If I'm being a little honest, I don't like cars too."

There he goes again, belittling her as if she were a child. It's been a few months; she should be used to Clark treating her that way, but she still isn't. She wants to stomp her foot, but that'll be even more childish. She settles for crossing her arms over her chest. "Where are we going?"

Clark's grin never wavers and actually stretches wider. "There's no place like home."

"Umm... what?"

That effectively wipes the grin from Clark's face. He mutters something to himself, something about _telling the Danvers to make her watch... something_. "Just get on, please."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes."

She kicks at some dirt to make her frustration just obvious enough before begrudgingly climbing onto his back.

"And I can't fly on my own because?"

"You _can't_."

She grins, all teeth. " _Yet._ "

*—*—*—*—*

She tells him how Dr. Quinzel says she has post-traumatic stress disorder. Classic symptoms are nightmares, panic attacks, avoiding triggers, always feeling on edge, feeling guilty and taking blame... And guess what? She has all of those symptoms, or at least that's what Dr. Quinzel tells her.

Dr. Quinzel is adamant about the medication.

She continues to refuse.

"But I do all of the homework she gives me," she says. Despite the wind roaring in their ears, they talk at their normal volume since they have super hearing.

"Homework?" He asks, slowing down as he descends into snow.

"Yeah, she makes me read stuff about PTSD and makes me do a bunch of breathing exercises."

When he puts her down, right in front of a great palace of ice, he gives her an indecipherable look.

"What?" She asks eventually, feeling self-conscious.

"Nothing. You're just sounding more like Kara Danvers and less like Kara Zor-El now."

The corners of her lips pull upwards. Being surrounded by kids with a certain colloquial speech pattern and having to live with a fourteen-year-old teenager can do that to one's articulation.

She changes the subject. "Care to tell me where in the world we are, other than the fact that this is obviously the Arctic?"

"Right. Kara, welcome to the Fortress of Solitude."

She grimaces. "That's a mouthful, but oddly has a nice ring to it. Did you name it?"

He shakes his head, not as a response but more to clear his thoughts. "Uh, well— _Anyway,_ this is my headquarters."

Her eyebrows knit at him. It's a sweet sentiment for him to have brought her here, but she doesn't understand _why_. "And you brought me here because?"

"One, I want to start training you as you're getting your powers. Two... well, you'll see once you get inside."

*—*—*—*—*

Her life slowly turns for the better in the next few years.

Her family sells their Ford in exchange for a convertible. Jeremiah tells her it's not for her sake, but for the family's.

"It was about time to get a new car," he says as he polishes the left side mirror.

But she knows better. She elects not to say it and instead, embraces her adoptive parents.

A year later and a half later, she can now take the bus with no ill consequences.

School is still easy (she's getting proficient with social studies and literature; in fact, she learns to love the latter) and kids are still cruel, but she learns you only need one friend to live through it.

She and Alex push their beds together in the center of the room so she doesn't have to be embarrassed sharing Alex's bed all the time. She now considers Alex as her closest friend beyond a sister.

She stops seeing Dr. Quinzel around the same time she is able to get a good night's sleep for a whole month. Dr. Quinzel calls her a quick success story.

Clark keeps taking her to the Fortress of Solitude to train her in both her combat skills and her powers. She loves to hate the training, since she doesn't need it; the world only has room for one superhero, but she humors him anyway. It's particularly fun and completely satisfying whenever she wins a sparring match.

She graduates from Midvale High with one of the best grades, just behind Alex. She later obtains her Bachelor of Arts degree in Marketing from National City University, where she also minored in journalism (Lois and Clark really rubbed off on her). A collection of odd jobs and internships later, she lands a sweet job as a personal assistant to Cat Grant. The job isn't that difficult and it pays well enough for her to get her own space in the heart of the city.

Krypton is gone; it's in pieces and it has been for decades now. She's not human, never will be, but she's found a home in their world and in a family she loves to her core.

She just can't wait for the day she finally meets her soulmates.

* * *

 _AN: I've been through enough therapy to know what kinds of questions they ask. Granted, I don't have PTSD, but some other stuff that's almost the same._

 _I didn't mean for this first part to be as long as it is, actually. It's just meant to be a two paragraphs long to summarize what happened in before season 1, but I wanted Kara to be different. I wanted her to closer to Clark and Lois, I wanted Alex to be more understanding (I mean, I get her point of view: she's just a teenager then some girl gets adopted into her family and things go awry, but c'mon, Kara just lost her entire planet), I wanted Kara to have a somewhat more realistic reaction to living on Earth. She's not angry, just more sad and in an attempt to make everyone happy, she's forcing herself to live in circumstances she's not comfortable with._

 _Next chapter, she's meeting one of our two OG heroes._

 _Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave a review. Helps me out a lot to read your insight and I truly appreciate every single one of them._


	2. Two: Kara

It's a little too late now to take it all back; she's already outed herself to the world a little while ago: that one defining moment in her life where she realized it couldn't hurt to have _two_ superheroes protecting the world. She has gone ahead and bitten the bullet, accepting the destiny Clark has always wanted for her (which was ultimately her decision; Lois had told her time and time again that even if she chose to live a normal human life, he'd still love her regardless).

It's been roughly five months since she put on her family's coat of arms that, for the people in this world, symbolized the pinnacle of strength and protection, and she's proud every single time she puts on her suit and do her round of heroics.

Granted, she's nowhere near as good as her cousin, but she's getting a lot better. That is until she loses the trust of the entire city when she gets influenced by red kryptonite. She wants to call Clark or Lois or both and ask for advice, but she doesn't. This is something she has to fix on her own.

As she mentally sorts out how she can possibly win the people's trust back, Siobhan shows up, even though Ms. Grant has already dismissed her from her employment. She calmly stands and tells the other woman to leave. Siobhan, however, refuses and tells her that she ruined her life. Before she can even move to call security, Siobhan demonstrates her newfound ability, to which she learns about it the hard way. Siobhan shrieks at a decibel no human should be able to.

She is flung out the window, disoriented and ears bleeding. She can't think; the pain and the confusion are too much for her to realize she's falling to her death (for her civilian life at least).

Still several feet up in the air, she is ultimately 'saved.'

She is put down a few seconds later, being steadied on her feet. She stumbles a little and rubs at her ears; they're still bleeding and they're still ringing like church bells. The world is still spinning, spinning, spinning, but she's just able to make out the figure that had just saved her as... just a regular guy.

Except he can't be since he was just able to catch her falling at terminal velocity.

"You're on fire!" He exclaims alarmingly. He moves forward to most likely put it out, only to jerk backwards at the last second. "I— Nope! I..."

She's still staggering a little and her head still feels like it's going to split in half. She glances down on her sweater and would you look at that, she really is on fire. Damn, and the pink sweater is one of her favorites too. She pats the flames down, still trying her best to keep her balance.

"You... don't seem that bothered by the fact that you're on fire," the man says slowly, sounding a little aghast at her completely calm demeanor.

She squints at him in an attempt to glower at him to intimidate or to make a point, but the back of her mind is pretty sure her glares just comes across as a look of utter confusion. "I didn't need you to save me."

The guy freezes, almost as if someone had just pulled a gun on him. She isn't, however, the best judge since her head still feels like it's not screwed on straight and she's dizzy; she probably had just imagined it because not even a second later, the guy has the audacity to laugh, albeit sounding a bit forced. "You just fell from a skyscraper so if I hadn't been there, you... woulda gone splat."

The heat blazes on her face and the air she inhales is dry, and that's when she realizes she's at least forty miles away from the city, in the desert. How in the world did she get all the way out here? The guy, is he a teleporter? He has to have some sort of ability for him to have saved her from going — as he so elegantly put it — _splat._

Wait, skyscraper...

He mentioned skyscraper.

 _Siobhan._

She'd just been thrown out of a building by a vengeful former employee who can apparently knock her down by just her voice.

"I have to get back to the city," she declares.

She's only barely able to pick up the small unsure "Okay?" when she already takes off in flight, shedding her civilian clothes since there's no use for them anymore, being scorched and all.

It takes her a moment of quiet soaring to replay the conversation in her head. Her flight stutters when it dawns on her that the guy — the guy who'd just saved her — had said _her words,_ and she didn't even flinch.

She'd said something too that means something to him. She doesn't exactly recall what she'd said but the guy clearly reacted to it before covering it up. The unmistakable crackle of lightning catches her attention because, instead of it coming from above her like it should, its source seems to be coming from the yellow streak of electricity that follows her aerial path.

She zeroes in on the incredibly fast-moving thing and—

Well, whattaya know, _it's the guy!_

So not a teleporter, but a speedster.

 _Awesome._

Despite it being really cool, she still needs to find out who he is since, after all, he's one of her soulmates and obviously someone with great powers.

She drops down and lands almost gracefully; almost being the operative word since she's still rattled by the scream. Her hair whips around wildly as does her cape; she's only able to catch an incredibly rapid burst of light and before she even has time to think, the man stops short in front of her.

"How'd you do that?" He's gawking at her, mouth open with the edges curling upwards; he's amazed as far as she can tell.

"I'm Supergirl," she says simply, and hey, the name's grown on her.

The guy just tilts his head in confusion. "You're who now?"

She bristles, feeling a light shade of insult that colors her core because how can her own soulmate not have heard of her? She studies him for a second, looking at him properly now. He's wearing a red suit — and no, not like a black suit and tie; it's definitely a superhero suit, complete with a cowl to obscure his face and an emblem of a lightning bolt on his chest.

She mentally shakes her head. This is her soulmate (well, one of them at least). She wants to make a good first impression. She stands straighter to convey confidence, even though she's dead terrified inside, and says, "I'm your soulmate."

The guy smiles, all genuine and happy. He takes off his mask and the smile stays and, if anything, her heart does a little backflip at the way his eyes seem to twinkle as he gazes at her. "I was really kinda hoping so since you said my words, but then you flew away."

She feels — and probably looks — sheepish. "Yeah, sorry, I'm still... a little disoriented from the scream."

Later, she discovers three things about her first soulmate: his name is Bartholomew Henry Allen ( _"Please just call me Barry. Please!"_ ), he's called the Flash when he's in his red friction-proof suit, and he's from another Earth.

"What do you mean you're from another Earth? I mean, how many Earths are there other than this one? You know, we're... Earth!"

"Theory of the multiverse," he answers back almost absentmindedly, fully focused on finding— something about stars and a lab?

Sure, why not?

"I still can't believe it, and I'm from another planet!"

That quickly diverts Barry's attention away from the computer. He spins around, and he's making that face of complete fascination as he'd done when he'd witnessed her flying.

"What?"

"Oh y-yeah, I'm an alien."

"You're an _actual_ alien?"

"Yup."

He grins. "Cool."

*—*—*—*—*

They team up and they're able to defeat Livewire and the self-named Silver Banshee. They move around with each other flawlessly, as if they've already been teaming up for years. For some reason, that rouses the people to trust in her once again, and for them to cheer for their new hero, the Flash.

She stands by his side, in the desert where they had met, and she can't help but feel miserable; she's standing in her signature pose to summon bravery, but if she's being honest to herself, she's scared; it's the same level of fear she'd experienced when her parents made her go into the pod that had brought her to this planet.

She wants to ask if his theory of using their combined top speeds would really get him back to his own — his own universe — but instead, she asks, "Do you have to go back?" _I just got you._

He glances at her, and there's a hint of sadness hidden in his eyes that she wouldn't have detected if she isn't paying attention, and that's just a bit of comfort knowing she isn't the only one who hates this. "I have to. I have an obligation to my own Earth."

She sighs. Of course she understands. The work of a hero is never done, but the deeds of a superhero will never be over.

He inches his way towards her to close the distance between them. He caresses her cheek with a gloved hand and, for a moment, she's just mesmerized by the beautiful green hue of his eyes and the sincerity that glazes over them. "I'll come back for you, Kara Danvers." He drops a featherlight kiss on her forehead before stepping back, beaming in a completely dopey way that just melts her heart. "Or Kara Zor-El. Which is your alien name. 'Cause you're an alien. Which I think is very cool."

She laughs at the absurdity of it all. She's from another planet, and he's from another universe. They both possess powers and they're both superheroes. They both have secret identities, with bosses who have complete faith in the heroic alter egos. It's probably these traits that made them soulmates in the first place.

"We haven't even gone on a first date yet..." She says.

"Are you kidding me? Saving the day _together_ is totally a date!"

She can't help but fly to him and give him a proper kiss, making sure she relays her desperation for him to come back because he has to.

As seconds tick by and they're still a tangle of limbs, she can't help but think who her other soulmate is going to be.

*—*—*—*—*

Of course she tells Alex about it that same evening, blushing and squealing like a high school girl.

"Kara," Alex says as she places a gentle hand on her sister's shoulder, laughing at her fumbling around with her words that don't seem to string along right. "Slow down. Yeah? Okay? You good? Now start from the top."

"I met one of my soulmates today."

It's a couple seconds later she's bombarded with questions.

It's moments like these she's grateful she has a sister, and she's even more grateful that it's someone like Alex.

"I can't wait to finally tell Mom!"

"What do you mean _you're_ telling her?!"

"Hey, last year, she was mad at _me_ for _you_ not dating at all! I kept telling her you're the kind of person who'd rather wait for their soulmates, but she _still_ wouldn't get off my ass about it. So yes, Kara, _I'm_ telling her."

*—*—*—*—*

Barry — wonderful, amazing Barry — keeps his promise and comes back the next week. Not by accident this time, evident by his arms full of gifts.

"Oh Rao, you didn't have to, but thank you!" She says, receiving the flowers and doughnuts gratefully, maybe blushing just a little bit.

"A-And this too," he says almost shyly, handing over a medium-sized plain white paper bag.

"Barry!" She admonishes lightly but smiles to make sure she appreciates it. She opens the paper bag and she is treated to a box... for a phone and clothes. "Uhh..."

Barry laughs a little, but she can tell he's still a bundle of nerves, the complete opposite of what he'd been last week. If anything, it reminds her a little bit of herself: Kara Danvers, the babbling mess of a human; Supergirl, the epitome of bravery and confidence. The same principle seems to apply well to Barry Allen and the Flash.

"The sweater and pants are to replace what I burnt up last time," he explains.

"Barry—"

"I know, I didn't have to. I _wanted_ to. Oh and..." He takes the box from her hands, opens it for her and shows off this beautiful phone; it's black with sleek edges and entirely wrapped with a premium glass, and it kind of makes her pocket feel heavy just by looking at it. She wants to scold him, that she shouldn't be showered with lavish presents since she isn't that kind of person when he starts speaking.

"It's a phone. I mean, yeah, obviously it's a phone. But I didn't buy it! My friend made it; it's reinforced with a titanium alloy and carbon fiber that'll hopefully hold up to your strength and he specifically programmed it to, you know... so we can talk and call and text and stuff, even when I'm back on my Earth— but... you already have a phone— Ah! Of course you have a phone! Uh, I'll just, you know, take this back and—"

"No!" She protests too quickly, startling him a little when she takes the box from his hands possessively. "I happen to like being able to talk to my soulmate when he's saving the world in another universe. And yes, I do have a phone, but who says I can't have two?"

Barry, still slightly taken aback, is gawking at her, as if it were the first time he'd truly seen her. She starts to feel a tad self-conscious and is about to tell him to stop when he pulls her to him and wraps his arms around her.

"You're amazing, and I'm way too lucky to have you as a soulmate," he says honestly.

She almost tells him that he's not the only soulmate for her.

Almost.

For now, she just wants to have this private moment to themselves, the beginning of their blossoming relationship.

They stay like that for a while. She's never felt more at home than right now, in his arms.

*—*—*—*—*

 **From Barry:**

 _I have something to tell you._

 **To Barry:**

 _What?_

 **From Barry:**

 _I love you._

 **To Barry:**

 _What do you want, Barry?_

 **From Barry:**

 _What? I can't just randomly tell my wonderful and adorable girlfriend I love her?_

 **To Barry:**

 _Barry._

 **From Barry:**

 _Fine._

 _Um..._

 _Can we please watch Dragon Ball Z tonight? please please please!_

 **To Barry:**

 _I'll tell Ms Grant I'm leaving early tonight..._

 **From Barry:**

 _I LOVE YOU._

*—*—*—*—*

 **From Barry:**

 _Do you have any of my STAR Labs sweatshirts?_

 **To Barry:**

 _..._

 _I have all of them_

 **From Barry:**

 _For real?_

 **To Barry:**

 _I'm returning three of them!_

 _Don't have your scent anymore!_

 _Make them smell like you again!_

*—*—*—*—*

 **To Barry:**

 _BARRY!_

 **From Barry:**

 _WHAT?_

 **To Barry:**

 _I WAS OFFERED A NEW JOB!_

 _I'M GONNA BE A REPORTER!_

 **From Barry:**

 _HANG ON I'M COMING OVER IN TEN!_

 _I'M BRINGING PIZZA, POTSTICKERS AND ICE CREAM!_

 _PUT ON WIZARD OF OZ!_

*—*—*—*—*

 **To Barry:**

 _I miss you, Scarlet Speedster_

 **From Barry:**

 _I miss you too, Girl of Steel_

*—*—*—*—*

Barry's visits become more frequent. His smile never wavers and he's more confident in himself when he's around her now (which is just a bit of a bummer; while she loves that he's more sure of himself around her, she finds his stammering charming).

He's always thoughtful and incredibly sweet, always bringing her stuffed animals, tops to replace those she keeps tearing or discarding whenever she becomes Supergirl (Alex wouldn't stop laughing when Kara finally told her about it), her favorite foods or cheesy one-liners. She appreciates everything he's done for her as Barry Allen and everything he's taught her as the Flash; in fact, now that's around more often, he's more than willing to lend a helping hand protecting National City. He's saved so many people that the locals won't stop boasting to Metropolis about how they have _two_ guardian angels instead of just one.

He makes time for her, even though he has his hands full by being a CSI by day and vigilante by night (and occasionally day too, should the need arises).

When it's finally the time he's supposed to meet her sister, who has been excited to meet one of her soulmates, he is _terrified_ and has actually tried to back out twice.

There's a timid knock on the door and when she opens it, she finds Barry on the other side. He's armed with a bouquet of daisies, freesias and gardenias, and a jittery smile; it's almost like he's reverted back to being the nervous wreck he had been when they first started going out.

"It's just Alex," she reminds him gently.

He swallows. "Right. Alex. Your sister. Who knows how to wield thirty government weapons—"

"Which I'm pretty sure you can dodge."

"—And knows how to torture people with just an index finger—"

"I may have exaggerated a little on that."

"—And she's already punched you—"

"That was training!"

"—and if she had no problem punching you—"

"That was _one_ time."

"—I'm pretty sure she has no problem _knocking me out_ —"

She rolls her eyes and silences him with a kiss on the lips, to which he melts into. She presses her forehead against his, looks straight into his eyes and says, "You'll be fine."

There's the ghost of a smile on his face, he's still panicking, but he's significantly calmed down.

The dinner goes well actually. It takes Barry less than five minutes to relax and start talking about science with Alex, and while Alex is brilliant, she's totally not as big of a nerd as Barry is, who launches into different theories about practically every branch of science.

When her sister hugs her goodbye at the doorway, Alex says, "I like him. He's good to you."

She's pretty sure she smiling so widely that it makes her look like a lovesick idiot. "Yeah. He is."

Alex snickers. "And he's scared of me. That's a win in my book."

*—*—*—*—*

He brings her pictures — not just pictures on his phone, but actual physical printed photos stuck into photo albums.

"That's my parents," he'd say or "That's Joe; he raised me," or "That's the best sister in the world! Her name's Iris," or "That's my brother, who I didn't know exist till a couple months ago, but he's great! He has my back. I love him," or "My best friends, they saved my life."

And she gobbles it all up because he's so earnestly excited showing her his life that she's now a part of.

"I'll take you to my Earth one day and introduce you."

She can't help it; the edges of her lips tug upwards in a sincere grin as her heart stammers in her chest. She looks at him as he's flipping through another photo album to show her.

"I'd love that."

*—*—*—*—*

She'll admit that Barry having to meet Clark... makes her maybe just a tad nervous.

Over the years since she crash-landed in this world, Clark evolved from being her cousin to a brother figure. He's never really been the overprotective kind of brother that threatened the boys she brought home since she's never brought _anyone_ home. She stuck to the principle of waiting for her soulmates instead of garnering relationships that have been doomed from the start.

And it's that unknown variable that's been making her edgy all day. James commented on her lack of pep when she brought him her latest report, to which she answers in rapid fire of all her fears: Will Clark give Barry one look and deck him? Will he threaten Barry through gritted teeth behind a faux smile?

Rao, there's so many ways everything could go so wrong—

"Relax, Kara," James says to her. "If I know the big guy, which I do, he's gonna like Barry. Even a blind man can see how much that man cares for you."

She doesn't know which man he's referring to, but she takes it.

*—*—*—*—*

"You're Superman," Barry says in slight awe when they finally meet in the DEO. "Wanna race?"

Clark smiles at him good-naturedly as he slaps his palm against Barry's shoulder with a strength equivalent to that of a human joking around. "Let's do it."

Barry wins by far.

She doesn't understand why she'd been anxious in the first place as she watches Clark sling an arm around Barry's shoulders as they both drink from their beers even though they're both well-aware of their hypermetabolism.

(It's Lois she should have been worried of. She's still apologizing to Barry as they both enter her apartment, still slightly horrified as she remembers how Lois jabbed her manicured finger into Barry's chest, threatening him that if he ever hurt Kara, it wouldn't be Superman he'll be running from.)

*—*—*—*—*

By the time she comes back to her apartment from another day of running around the city for new things to report on (other than herself), Barry's already there.

But he's not passing time watching his shows on her TV or reading a book or browsing on his phone, nor is he in civilian clothing. He's passed out on the couch, still in his Flash suit, and she can tell that he's had a very long day.

Judging from the array of colorful and lovely flowers gripped in his fist, she suspects he came over to surprise her, only to succumb to his exhaustion.

She pulls out her phone — the regular one, not the one Barry had given her — and calls her favorite pizza place.

"Yeah, I'd like to order four large pizzas for delivery," she says as she squishes her phone between her ear and shoulder to go retrieve her blanket from her bed. "Uh huh. Yeah, two with ham, bacon and mushrooms. And the other two with pepperoni, olives and jalapeños." She places the blanket over her boyfriend while carefully taking the flowers from his hand. "Okay. Yes. Thank you!"

She ends the call and quietly just watches Barry, looking so peaceful yet so tired. She drops a gentle kiss on his temple before turning on the TV to catch up on Game of Thrones (Barry really got her hooked).

*—*—*—*—*

"So," she starts saying as she takes her third potsticker, "what're Caitlin and Cisco up to recently? You haven't really talked about them in a while."

"Who?" Barry asks before covering it up with, "O-Oh right, yeah. Caitlin, Cisco... they're, uh, there. I-I... I haven't really talked to them in a while."

"Okay."

Something is definitely wrong.

*—*—*—*—*

She's just about to start watching the latest episode of Game of Thrones when Barry makes an impromptu visit in the middle of her apartment. She's all smiles, but she's quick to notice his red-rimmed eyes and hunched posture. She immediately turns off her TV and puts her food down on the coffee table. She uses her speediness to swiftly be in his immediate grasp.

"Hey, hey, I'm here." She clutches his hands in her own as if they're lifelines.

He stares straight into her eyes, as if he's looking for answers he'd been longing for. She briefly wonders for a fleeting moment if that's how haunted she looks whenever she cries and he just holds her in his arms. She holds his gaze, unsure of what she's really doing but willingly does it anyway if it gives him comfort. His eyes water and he pulls her into an embrace, as if he'd been drowning for a long time and she's the air he desperately needs to breathe in. His face is pressed against the crook of her neck, and she can't help but think how awkward the position is for him given that he's several inches taller than her, but he doesn't seem to care; all he cares right now is her.

She's not the answer, but if that's what he's expecting from her tonight, then she'll try her best to be.

"I got you."

Several minutes later, she's able to maneuver him over to the couch. He's still a mess, blurting out incoherent phrases that don't really make sense, at least not to her. She gives him a glass of water and tells him to breathe so he can explain. He takes the water gratefully, barely able to thank her before downing the drink like he'd hadn't drunk in a long while.

"Now tell me. Slowly, okay?"

He nods, not looking at her.

He explains that he'd done something horrible, that he'd been at it for the last three months.

She's a little shocked. Three months? "What... Barry, what did you do?" But she has had an inkling that something had been wrong for some time now, she just doesn't know _what_.

He whimpers throughout his explanation: in a moment of weakness, he'd traveled back in time — all the way back to when he was eleven — to save his mother from being killed, and thus his father from being incarcerated and eventual death. He'd saved them from their horrible and untimely demises and for the past three months, he'd been living in this alternate reality where his parents were alive.

But there'd been a price. He isn't supposed to meddle with time and upset the cosmic order of balance; he began to lose his memories in his old life, and some of the lives of the people he loves worsened: Joe hardly cared about his job and Wally was a speedster but he got hurt bad...

It had come to a point where he had realized that he needed to fix every thing, so he was forced to beg his most hated adversary to kill his mother in effort to restore the original timeline, only to come back with a lot of lives ruined, especially his friends' and his family's: Joe and Iris are estranged now, Wally is getting nightmares, Caitlin is turning into Killer Frost, Cisco's brother is dead, and a lot of regular people are turning into metahumans, just like they had been in the alternate timeline.

He expects her to be angry, like the others had been. He wants her to berate him for such a stupid thing he'd done when he knows very well he wasn't supposed to.

"Why aren't you mad?!" He demands, just barely through all the hiccuping. "I have you. I have you, and I just had to go back and ruin everything for some stupid fantasy..."

A tear finally makes its way down her cheek; Girl of Steel but her heart isn't. "Do you not understand? Barry, I would have done the exact same thing if I had your powers! Do you not know how badly I want to reunite with my parents? My family? My entire planet?" She tugs him closer by the collar and promptly throws her arms around his neck. "Don't you dare apologize for a moment of weakness. You're human! You made a mistake and guess what? You're allowed those!"

"I'm sorry," he says brokenly. "I'm sorry."

She doesn't say anything. She just holds him, just like how he does for her whenever she comes close to giving up.

*—*—*—*—*

He ends up staying the night. He falls asleep almost instantly, curling around her like a question mark that doubts himself.

She's not the answer. She'll never be the answer he's looking for. But the moment feels so right, so fragile, that she pretends she is.

As she plays with his hair, she finally understands what the fuss is all about: being with your soulmate is an experience that surpasses all other pleasant experiences in life and everything just falls right into place... but she won't go so far as to call it perfect. Barry is a dork, he rambles when he's excited or nervous, he's charming, caring, understanding and easy on the eyes... but she still feels like a part of her is missing. It's not that Barry isn't enough for her, it's just that there's literally another person out there in the multiverse who's meant to be her soulmate.

She strokes his hair as he breathes lightly against her neck, fast asleep.

She loves him... and she hasn't even told Barry yet, despite the numerous times he has.

She loves him, but she still doesn't say it.

*—*—*—*—*

She wakes up the next day to an empty bed and the smell of chocolate and ozone in the air. It's enough to rouse her awake and out of bed.

"Uh, good morning?" She says to the literal burst of lightning running around in her kitchen. If she had been wearing her glasses, she wouldn't be able to see him in the midst of all the yellow electricity at all.

He skids to a stop in front of her, flour in his hair and chocolate on the side of his lips. He's grinning as he leans forward to give her a quick kiss on the lips. She laughs into the kiss as she feels the chocolate being transferred to her upper lip, to which she licks off when he pulls away.

"Good morning," Barry answers. There is no evidence of last night on his face other than the slight swelling in his eyes that indicates he had been crying.

"So what is Barry Allen up to today? Other than defiling my kitchen."

"I," he begins as he turns around to her island, picking something up, "was making you—"

" _Oh my god is that chocolate pecan pie?!_ "

Barry looks more elated, if that's even possible, at her ecstasy. He sets the pie down on the center table in the living room, already prepared with a plate, utensils and a cup of coffee.

"Yeah, just for you, babe. I know it's breakfast, but you're an alien who can't get any ill effects from eating wrong so, I made your favorite!"

She takes a hefty slice for herself on the place Barry provides her with when she stops to squint at him. "How did you know this is my favorite?"

His hand runs through his hair to the back of his neck, looking sheepish. "Lois may have yelled it at me... along with twenty seven other ways to make you feel better, should you ever have a bad day."

Of course Lois would.

Barry exhales as he closes his eyes in defeat. "It's more of a thank you, really. You know, for putting up with me last night..."

She puts down her plate and approaches him. "Barry Allen, you listen to me. Don't you ever feel bad for opening up to me the way you did. I'm _relieved_ and really happy you came to me because, like it or not, Barry, we're _soulmates_. We're each others' support systems. Get that through your cowl and thick skull that I love you and that I am always here for you."

Barry freezes and stares at her with an unreadable expression that can only be thought of as pure joy or utter shock.

"You love me."

She nods with conviction. "I do, Barry. I love you so much." She means it, with every fiber in her body.

*—*—*—*—*

Alex tells her, practically begs her, to tell him about her other soulmate because it's not fair to him. He doesn't deserve not being told after showing his complete devotion to her. And she promises she will, she just doesn't promise when.

It's about two months later when she finally gathers enough courage to tell him.

 _The next time he comes, I'll tell him,_ she promises to herself

And he does come, three days later.

But it's not a friendly visit or for a date. He's wearing the Flash suit; he's here on business.

"I need your help."

The request alone alarms her. Barry rarely ever asks for help. The fact that he needs to travel to her universe to ask for her assistance—

She wastes no time asking, "What are we up against?"

He's always there for her, helping her out with her world's bad guys and training her to utilize strategy than just having to rely on brute strength alone. And even if he hadn't done all that, she'd still fight alongside him, have his back and lay down her life for him. Soulmate or not, she is indebted to him.

*—*—*—*—*

It's the first time she travels through a breach and... it's a strange sensation. It's like the pressure presses down on her everywhere, there's a cold rush of wind that chills her to the bone and she's seeing flashing colors.

"That," she starts as Barry helps her not fall over, "was cool."

He laughs. "I know."

"And that's how you travel every time you visit?"

"Yup." He kisses her temple. "Worth it."

"Barry!" Someone says, and she realizes she's in a warehouse... no, a hangar, with a number of other people she's never met. She recognizes a few faces here and there, from Barry's pictures and stories.

The same guy who called Barry's name continues, "I thought you were bringing an alien!"

She exchanges glances with Barry, sharing a private smile between them as they both start walking towards the group.

"Y-Yeah, I did." Her lips quick upward at his stammering. He proudly gestures to her with an open hand. "Alright, everybody. This is Kara Danvers, or otherwise known on her Earth: Supergirl."

"What makes her so 'super?'" And she so called it! Barry rolls his eyes and hands her a five dollar bill before she takes off, hovering a few feet over everyone to carve out her emblem on the ground with her heat vision. She relishes it all: the wide-eyed stares and gaping mouths. The way Barry looks at her with a healthy mix of complete admiration, adoration and pride makes her makes her heart stummer.

"I'm convinced," someone else said and she beams more widely.

As soon as she lands, Barry tells her each of their real names one by one and instructs everybody to tell her their superhero alias when she mentions their name.

"Okay," she nods. "I think I got this. Sara?"

"White Canary."

"Jax... and Professor Stein?"

"Firestorm." And she has to admit, that's a pretty cool superhero name.

"Uh, Ray?"

"Palmer! Er, the Atom?"

"And... Mick."

"Hmm? Oh, Heatwave."

"Uh, Iris, Felicity and Caitlin?"

"Yep, you got it!"

"Yes! Okay, Cisco?"

"Vibe."

"Thea?"

"Speedy."

"Dig."

"Spartan."

"And you're Oliver."

The man stiffens a bit that would have gone unnoticed if she isn't perceptive. "Green Arrow."

Her steps falter and eyes widen.

 _Of course_ her other soulmate is a superhero too!

* * *

 _AN: Can i just say i'm having way too much fun writing this? AH bless barry and kara and now i can't wait to write the last chapter!_

 _Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave a comment. Helps me out a lot to read your insight and I truly appreciate every single one of them._


	3. Three: Kara

She knows that he knows that they're both well aware they're soulmates, if his initial reaction to her words are anything to go by. Before she even has the time to open her mouth to acknowledge him, he tears his eyes away from her and focuses on the screens towering over them, requesting that they start. She feels just the least bit dazed but eventually decides to approach him later. After all, their world is in certain imminent doom; she'll fawn over her soulmate later.

She follows Oliver's line of sight, where the monitors flicker to life, projecting images of their adversary.

She stumbles backwards as a hand flies to her chest. She knows she can't slow down her heart that way, but she does it anyway. The nails on her fingers push into her insignia, clawing at it as she does her best to control her breathing.

Dominators.

 _Of course._

Has the universe decided that she'd had it good for too long that it just has to dig up past wounds for its own morbid form of entertainment?

Barry, ball of nerves that he already is, starts describing the enemies they're up against: there really isn't much to say, however, since Earth doesn't have much interaction with alien lifeforms, much less this specific race, so any human having intel on them is damn near impossible.

Except... she isn't human. She isn't from Earth. And she has first-hand experience on what they're like when she wishes she doesn't.

"... don't know much about them really," Barry is saying.

"Except that they're really strong," she supplies, voice cracking at the end. She remembers her mother effortlessly being lifted into the air by the throat, the blue tinge on her mother's lips as she had struggled to breathe, the look of bravery her mother puts on anyway for her sake. She fights back the damn emotions and adds, "And very ruthless."

She tries to reign in all the fear and the panic and the sheer hopelessness that ravages all her attempts of rallying courage. She suddenly feels like she's thirteen again: alone, lost and _scared_. All efforts to put on the fearlessness she's always carried with her ever since she put on the cape and her family's coat of arms fall flat; she just _can't_. She pretends it's for the sake of appearances in front of her soulmates, but it's really for _her_ sake. She cannot let herself get sucked back into that blackhole of anxiety and misery. She can feel herself crack at the edges and she fears her faux confidence will eventually ooze out and expose her for being the true coward that she is.

However... this is an entirely different universe, so it can't be the same Dominators that destroyed her home planet.

Right?

But dear Rao, they look exactly the same.

Everyone is giving her a blank stare of complete disbelief. It's a few tense seconds she realizes why and she immediately jumps into her explanation. "Oh, they... they came to my planet. The first time was before I was born. They did experiments on a lot of people... killed a lot more. Then they came back almost two decades later... they were hellbent on conquering us. But my people..." She wills herself not to think about her Aunt Astra. "They weren't about to give up without a fight," she chokes back the sob that threatens to bubble up, "so they destabilized our planet's core. They're the reason my cousin and I left for Earth."

Barry's eyes connect with hers, meeting the despondency swimming in them and it registers in her mind that the sorrow he's showing is meant for her; she's never told him this story. A thousand anecdotes about her past, but she's never dared open _that_ can of worms.

She's long reconciled that she can never go back to her home planet, that she's made a new life for herself here, that she has an army of loved ones who would die for her, that her soulmates belong in this alternate universe, that her life is anything but ordinary, and that she wouldn't have it any other way. It's the nightmares, the guilt, the visions and the panic attacks that threaten her peace every time she is forced into a situation that requires her to talk or even think about it.

She conveys her apologies through her gaze, silently imploring his forgiveness. Barry, being the amazingly understanding person that he is, shakes his head, as if to say, _"there's nothing to forgive."_

Thea ignores the tension in the room and decides to slice through it with, "They're not the only one with superhuman strength I hear. Barry says that you're more powerful than a locomotive?"

She tilts her head Barry, mouth open to deny it but finds herself unable to answer.

He shrugs at her, small proud grin, and says, "Stronger, really. She can hold up a thirty-story building easy."

It's the first time she's met his friends when, usually, it's him with _her_ friends, so she shouldn't be surprised he's showing her off. She hopes she isn't blushing.

"Technically, it was only twenty-six floors—"

"I'm rounding."

"But then it's not true and an exaggeration."

"It's still pretty awesome."

"You know, Clark can—"

"We'll use Kara as a standard for training," Oliver interrupts them, which is probably for the best because she and Barry could have gone on for hours.

She doesn't know the extent of what Barry has told them about her and her overall abilities, but she assumes they at least have an inkling of what she's capable of if Oliver easily comes up with a training strategy. Tactically, it's a wise and sound plan.

Everyone else seems to agree, nodding or humming in the affirmative before splitting off, probably to suit up or, in Mick's case, find food.

Barry calls for her and Oliver. "Really quick," he promises. "I was excited about the two of you guys meeting each other." She notices how Barry almost sounds nervous.

She can feel her heart hammering in her chest. Of all the times to meet her other soulmate, it just has to be before an invasion from an alternative version of the alien race that had terminated her kind.

She smiles, or at least, forces herself to. She's had more than a decade's worth of practice to put on false cheerfulness for the benefit of others. "Yeah, me too." She sticks out her hand. "Nice to finally meet you, soulmate."

Barry coughs in surprise. "Wait what? For real?"

Her body goes rigid; yet another thing she's never had the chance to tell him. She'd been working up the courage to tell him and just when she's about to, damn Dominators ruin her opportunity. And now, here they are, with him finding out in one of the worst ways possible.

She isn't able to answer him however; Oliver's cold stare takes her voice away and is it just her or is he mad at her? He glances at her hand once and says, "The training, you can't hold back."

She's taken aback, agony lancing through her that she can only describe as pain akin to being stuck in the chest with a hot poker. She recognizes that feeling, the one her mother had described to her about: she'd just been rejected by her soulmate. She drops her hand and tries to recover. She stutters, "Uh, you sure about that? I-I just met these people..."

"These people need to understand this isn't gonna be easy." He levels her with an unreadable expression that sends a cold feeling down her spine. "Don't hold back. Especially against me."

He's already walking away when she says warily, "Okay..." She glances at Barry and he gives her a sympathetic look; she doesn't understand why he's being so comforting when she's just blatantly hid things from him, when she's been so willing to expose her origin to a new group of people when he so willingly had told her everything about him. "Um..."

"He's... like that with everyone." He plants a gentle kiss on her forehead, so loving and understanding that it almost makes her want to kick herself; how did she deserve him? "It makes sense he's also your soulmate... if you only have two?"

She nods. "Two, and why does it make sense?"

He averts his gaze and opts to look down, heaving a sigh that relays his uneasiness. "Because you're not the only one." He pulls down his collar with his forefinger to expose a sentence with the same neat handwriting as the one on her back: _"And do your parents know that you're here?"_

Oh.

His lips press into a hard line before he tells her, "He, uh... He rejected me too." His smile is bitter. "He'd made it very clear he doesn't want a soulmate when he strangled me the second he realized I knew his secret identity."

 _Oh._

"He's actually the first person to train me. He... He shot me when I tried to make him change his mind."

Of course they're all each other's soulmates. She recalls her mother telling her that a person having two soulmates is rare, and having all three be each other's soulmates is even rarer.

So, not only does he have Oliver Queen as his soulmate too, but he is also well versed in the pain of being rejected by a soulmate, and he's endured it for so much longer than she has; she's only known the man for a whopping half hour and only known he's her soulmate in the last ten. She can only imagine the kind of pain Oliver's subjected onto Barry (both emotionally and physically). From what she can gather based on their interactions, they'd both already agreed on a platonic relationship, even though Barry is clearly in torment at the rejection.

It all suddenly becomes painfully clear: why he constantly showers her with gifts, why he always tells her she's the best thing that has ever happened to him, why he doesn't bother waiting longer to tell her he loves her, why he's always worried she'll leave him when he'd confessed what he'd done...

It's because their other soulmate has already refused to make a connection with him in a romantic way. They're allies and really good friends. Heck, the man even trained him. But a platonic bond will never be enough — a completely severed bond between soulmates would just be too devastatingly traumatic, so he'd settled on a non-romantic partnership with Oliver just so he can at least have him in his life.

"Why?" She asks simply, nodding off to where Oliver had disappeared to.

"Because... he doesn't want to."

She tries to wrap her head around that. How do you not want your soulmate? Soulmates are what make people feel... lighter, brighter, happier and complete. She should know, she has Barry. (Granted, she doesn't feel entirely complete, but you get the idea).

As if reading her mind, he continues, "He said it's too dangerous. That once people — very bad people — find out that he found his soulmate, much less both of us, they'll want to use that against him."

She looks at him incredulously. "But you're the Flash!" She whispers loudly and angrily, suddenly wanting to punch the walls. "And I'm Supergirl! We have superpowers! Pretty sure we can hold out on our own, Barry!"

He shrugs. "That's just Oliver for you..." He shakes his head and shoulders, as if relieving himself from the dread, and throws her arm over her shoulders. "C'mon, Supergirl, let's get you ready for training."

She lets him change the subject; let them focus on the doom and worry about their silly Oliver-related problem later.

"But I _am_ ready." She waves her arms and gestures to her suit. It's not like she has to meditate or yell out some magic word for her powers to activate.

His nose scrunches, humor written all over his face. "Well, I mostly meant let's show them how much of a badass you are."

*—*—*—*—*

(Un)Surprisingly, the first one down is Mick, or rather Heat Wave, who insists on using his flamethrower weapon instead of actually training his combat skills. She mentally admits the firearm he possesses is impeccable and commends his mastery of wielding it, but like her sister had said when she started training her to reteach all the training Clark had given her that she'd forgotten, you can't rely on one skill (or on her part: brute strength) alone. Connecting it with what Barry had also told her, you have to utilize everything you have to your advantage against your enemy.

Thea and Diggle, Speedy and Spartan respectively, form a team together and attempt to blindside her, with Dig as the offensive distraction while Thea shoots a grappling hook arrow from her place on top of one of the crates to zip her way past her to stab her with an arrow. The plan would have worked if the bullets Dig keeps shooting at her are fired at a more rapid speed, and if Thea had been more precise with her timing. They're both down when Sara attacks.

Sara, taking on the mantle of White Canary, is a skilled martial artist, weaving through the air and using every single part of her body like a well-oiled machine. It's almost like facing Alex again, and she uses that to her advantage, the muscle memory that allows her to foresee and block every attack Sara lands on her. Had she been a regular human, she would have been rendered groaning on the ground by now, especially when Sara manages to clip her cheek with one of her batons.

Sara feels cocky, evident by how she tells her, "Better try harder than that, Supergirl."

She doesn't have to; she notices Sara's stance be a little too wide and unguarded, obviously underestimating her as a worthy sparring opponent. She takes her opportunity and uses a dirty trick Clark once taught her to knock the other blonde on her ass.

When Sara's back connects with the floor, guilt colors her core a little when she hears the thud be louder than it should be. "Sorry," she says all too quickly and moves to help her up.

Sara waves baton in dismissal. "Don't be. That was great. Good job."

The conversation gets cut short when her enhanced hearing picks up on the telltale thrust of powered flight. Ray Palmer, otherwise known as the Atom, uses his shrinking technology to do an aerial sneak attack on her, but thanks to her superhuman vision, she is able to spot him quickly. She hovers up in the air and faces the direction he's coming from. Probably knowing he's been spotted, he grows back to human-sized and shoots energy blasts at her. She can feel the strength in the energy that bounces off her skin; she has to commend him for the hard work he'd done making this technology. She shields her face, more out of habit than protection. Seeing his fire power fail at taking her down, he shrinks back down and circles her. She theorizes this as a tactic to disorient her, but she's already prepared for when he grows back to his normal size and takes the brief window of opportunity to grab him by the torso and hurl him down with the other fallen heroes.

They all moan. Thea's face makes it look like she doesn't want to get up, and Mick's pure defeated position makes it clear he's done; it's only been like twenty minutes, maybe half an hour, tops.

"She really is a badass," Thea comments as she forces herself to get back onto her feet.

"Yeah," Sara rasps back, catching her breath. "It's kinda hot."

She wants the compliments to stick and resonate something warm within her, but Oliver just comes out of nowhere, dressed in his glorious suit of dark green leather. She hates him for his rejection; she hates him for hurting Barry; she hates him for looking so damn good in his supersuit. He stares at her, crystal orbs of blue coated with frustrated determination. He orders everyone to go again.

This time, they all try a different tactic and attack all at once instead of doing it one at a time. Strategically, it should work, but all their weapons and efforts are _nothing_ to her. She takes pity at them using up their own ammo and lands back on the ground to take the hits.

*—*—*—*—*

"Um, are you sure you... want me to keep going?" She asks uneasily, body facing Oliver but she doesn't look at him directly. She can't deal with the unadulterated fury in his eyes; she muses on whether or not her own anger and pain reflects onto him, onto Barry and right back to her.

"Yeah," he answers as he scrambles to his feet, exhausted, much like the rest of the others. "Yes." She's about to argue that he can't keep pushing themselves like this when he continues on saying, "Just give us... five minutes." There's a twisted sense of satisfaction that surges in her veins when he hunches over, hands on knees, and practically pleads with her, " _Please._ "

She turns on her heel and is about to approach Barry just to counteract the _Oliver-_ ness when Cisco beats her to it. He holds up a small handheld device and accuses her soulmate of leading them to an alien war without telling the rest of the team he himself had assembled.

 _Oh no_. From the exasperated rage that renders him shaking, she knows _exactly_ what he's referring to; Barry had told her months ago about Flashpoint already.

"Tell us what?" Sara demands of them, eyes fixated on Barry.

In a brief moment of panic, Barry meets her eyes and she doesn't have to be a mindreader to know he needs her there by his side. She doesn't use her powers and instead walks over to him at a reasonable human pace. She doesn't take his hand; she doesn't want to give away that she knows a huge tidbit about their changed lives without even having met them beforehand. She brushes her shoulder against his bicep and she can feel him calm down to some degree.

"Jax and Professor Stein found a message from me in the future..." he takes in a deep breath, "saying that, right now, I can't be trusted."

"And why would future-you say that?" Sara asks, trying to make sense of it all.

She desperately wants to hold his hand, comfort him in anyway she can, knowing that this is crushing him from the inside out, knowing that he can never fix his mistake, but she tames herself.

"I think because... I went back in time and changed the timeline, and now, things here are different than before I left..." He pauses and doesn't have the heart to look anyone in the eye that makes her own heart break. "Including some of your lives."

"S-Some of our lives..." Thea repeats shakily. "Like who?" The young woman is a regular human being so she recognizes that she's overwhelmed by the existence of the impossible such as superpowers, time traveling, parallel worlds and now aliens. She's almost empathetic.

Barry exhales and rubs at his face with his open palms before letting them drop to his sides. "Cisco, Caitlin, Wally... Dig..."

Dig looks startled, and rightfully so. How does one react when finding out your friend has time traveled and, inadvertently, changed your life? "Me? Why? What happened?"

Barry tries to say it, but the words don't come out. She wants to answer for him, but she is the newcomer amongst them, the outsider; at the most, she isn't supposed to know. Hell, she's pretty sure they don't even know she and Barry are soulmates, just that they're in some weird-ass long distance relationship.

It's Oliver that answers for him. "Apparently, you had a daughter."

Dig's stance straighten and his gaze on Barry hardens. "I had a daughter, Bar?"

He nods meekly. "Baby John... was baby Sara."

Dig uncross his arms and he looks more rigid. "So, let me get this straight. You— You just erased my _daughter_ from my life."

"Yeah..."

Sara steps forward, finally regaining her composure to give Barry a piece of her mind. "You can't just go back and _change_ things like that, Barry!"

"I know," comes his weak reply that goes unheard.

"You know how hard it is for me?" She demands of him."To not alter events? To _bring my sister back?_ But I don't, because I know," she gestures at Dig, "the implications."

The back of her neck stands up in agitation. She wants to pick Sara up and throw her, not hard but just hard enough for her to _back off_. From her fighting style alone, she knows the other woman can take it.

Barry understands the repercussions of what he'd done. Up until a few years ago, he'd been gifted with this ability to move faster than a bullet twenty times over. And instead of causing harm and using his powers for his own benefit, he uses it to protect people. He's still learning just what he is actually capable of. No matter how many times Barry has told her that she's way more powerful than him, she often thinks he's wrong, that he's the more powerful one, not just in physical prowess but in overall skill, character and wit too. Despite all the bad things that has happened to him, he remains in his conviction of helping others.

He'd been forced to live through a tragedy from his future enemy. And just a few months ago, he had to relive the same tragedy in the same house, in the same room, with a different parent, with a different enemy.

She understands that a mistake as colossal as what he'd done can't go unpunished and isn't easily forgivable, but her overprotectiveness overrules her logic.

"All those aberrations we spent the last eight months traveling through time trying to correct, you just decided that it was okay for you to create your own?" Ray says.

He could have stayed in that fantasy life. He could have kept up the charade, went on dating her without her ever knowing and continued on with his picture perfect life. But he himself had come to the realization that what he'd done is _wrong_ , that he needed to go back to his former life and fix things. He'd learned that what he had was far from the ideal life for anyone, but it was his own version of a messed-up perfection: he had an amazing adoptive father, two kickass siblings and an arsenal of friends.

"I told you, man," Jax says. "We should've told 'em before."

He practically had to beg his most hated adversary to _kill_ his mother all over again — _goddammit_ — just for him to have the timeline restored!

He is well aware of the repercussions of what he'd done. Whenever he stays over and they lay in bed together, she is tormented by just how much Flashpoint haunts him in his nightmares, how much it kills him to have caused his mother's death, how much he had screwed everything up for everyone else—

"Guys!" Felicity says. Her voice is urgent so they immediately know something's wrong. "Guys, it's Lyla. The president's been abducted by the Dominators. She needs us _now_."

There is a palpable tension in the room, knowing a decision needs to be made immediately if they want their President to live another day. It's Barry who eventually breaks the ice.

"Okay, you guys go, all right?" he says with renewed vigor, which doesn't quite match his hunched posture of utter defeat. "I'm gonna sit this one out." He gestures to her. "Obviously, you have Supergirl. She's just as fast as I am." She wants to argue that she isn't; she's nowhere near as quick as he is, but he doesn't give her room to talk. "Get the President. We can talk about this later."

They all break off. Trust him or not, Barry had been the one that called the shots. The order's been given; they have a mission to finish now.

Barry approaches her cautiously, almost like he's having second thoughts about coming near her. He reaches over and takes one of her shaking fists she doesn't realize she's been making.

"You still trust me, right?" He asks. Staring intently into her own, his eyes possess a blend of raw guilt, shame, torment and anxiety that makes her chest sting.

"I'll always trust you," she reassures him with a soft intonation she hopes communicates her conviction. " _Always_." She doesn't care how many times she'd have to remind him because, if there's anything she will never tired of, it's the truth

He nods, grateful. The haunted look that ghosts his features doesn't completely disappear, but it subsides greatly. "If you need me, I'll be there."

Oliver, from his position, not having moved since he asked for those five minutes, scoffs. "Guys, _hey!_ " Everyone stills and turn their attention to him. "This is crazy! Everyone is going, _including_ Barry." His voice then goes into a much milder tone, something she didn't know is possible with him, as he declares, "I'm not going without him."

She doesn't quite _get_ him. He rejects both her and Barry, and yet he still goes through great lengths for them (or for Barry at least). The complexity that is Oliver Queen gets her head spinning.

Dig levels the archer with a look she can't decipher its meaning; however, it inflicts something within Oliver, who winces perceptively. "Then you'll be here." He jerks his head in Barry's direction with obvious irritation. "With him. Where he can't screw things up more."

"Okay. _You know what?_ " She doesn't mean for it to come out the way it did, clipped and sharp, but it does. She doesn't know these people at a personal level, which fuels her vexation towards them even more. Barry probably senses this because he takes her hand in his and gives her a reassuring squeeze. She exhales evenly to control herself. "It's okay, Oliver," she tells him. Despite him having cut through her with his rejection, she takes his defense and protection for Barry with grace. "I'll go with them. We'll get the President. You stay here with Barry."

It fills her up with something sour to have said those words. It's not that she doesn't want Oliver and Barry to be left alone, she wants to be the one who stays behind with him. It's the first time in her life she regrets having all these incredible powers that she has. If she had been a regular human at least — regardless of whatever skill set she may have — she'd have no reason to go with these people she doesn't know and would have been able to stay behind with Barry.

Satisfied with the proposal made, everyone turns on their heel and head for the exit. Oliver remains where he is, stoic and expression unreadable. She feels her hand twitch for him; he may have rejected them but she knows he can feel the soulmate bond pulling them together, obvious from the way he immediately jumps to Barry's defense and the longing in his eyes when they glance at each other after she comes up with the new plan. She wants to hold her hand out, but she knows he won't take it due to his damn stubbornness so she stays put.

Barry lifts a hand and runs his thumb across her cheek. "I love you."

"Don't say it like that," she pleads.

He doesn't offer a verbal response and instead leans forward to close the gap between them to connect their lips together. He pulls back a second later and rests his forehead against hers, both their eyes remain closed. Her hand comes up and she lays it on top of his that's still resting against her face. She ignores the murmurs around them and bottles this moment as their own.

"I'll be back before you know it," she tells him before giving him one more kiss. They part, with him giving her a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

"In a flash?"

She drops her hand and groans, turning away from him to follow the others.

"Hey, c'mon, it was funny!"

*—*—*—*—*

She lands not so gracefully behind the group advancing towards the building. At this point, she doesn't care what she looks like in front of these people; they'd made it clear that they don't trust her soulmate, so why should she trust them?

With her x-ray vision, she scans her immediate vicinity and finds an elderly man tied up in the second floor of the abandoned structure. "The President's in there," she tells them, who all respond with a collective gasp and shocked expressions at her sudden appearance. Had she not made any noise when she landed?

"How do you know that?" Heat Wave asks in a flat tone.

"I can see him," she offers plainly.

He tilts his head in confusion and widens his eyes in question.

"Oh," she says when she realizes, "I have x-ray vision." So Barry never told them about that particular power of hers. Why?

"Oh." Heat Wave's face change into that of great interest, leaning forward. "You can see everyone's bits with those little peepers."

Now she gets why Barry never told them.

"No," She answers all too quickly, refusing to allow the idea to stick to her mind. In theory, yes, she is capable of seeing past _everything_ with the exception of lead; she'd learned the lesson the hard way during her first day of school after PE. Technically, she can control her extended vision, but she prefers to wear her glasses well into her adulthood so she doesn't ever slip up or be tempted (She can't ever imagine a scenario where she'll ever be tempted — she respects everyone's privacy equally — but it's better to be safe than sorry).

Plus it helps with the whole hiding-her-civilian-identity so it all works out.

"Ignore him," White Canary advises while giving Heat Wave a pointed look that commands him to behave.

But she actually likes Heat Wave, or rather Mick Rory. The man is obviously someone with a background of thievery and misdeeds, but he hasn't expressed any doubt or dislike for Barry or his past actions, so to her, Heat Wave's antics are not at all bothersome and are far more pleasant than any interaction with the White Canary.

She chooses to ignore the input made by the blonde and aims a question at Heat Wave. "How did you get the name Heat Wave exactly?"

Heat Wave smirks at her, sardonic and proud. "I burned my family alive and I like to light things on fire."

Her eyebrows shoot up in astonishment; that's a response she definitely did not expect. "Well... isn't that a..." She tries to think for an appropriate response. " _Colorful_ backstory."

"My shrink thinks so. By the way, I'm not gonna call you 'Supergirl.' It's stupid."

Inwardly, she kind of agrees and wants to inform him that she didn't think of the name herself. Heck, even Clark hadn't come up with his own hero alias either (She's going to have to call Lois later on and ask _why_ she chose such a mundane and lazy name). However, in the past year of heroics, she's grown to like it, but that doesn't mean she thinks it's a clever name (She often catches herself get jealous at Barry's hero moniker because of its uniqueness and ingenuity).

She opts not to comment and instead requests to just call her by her actual name.

"That won't work either."

"Well what are you gonna shout if you need my help?"

After a moment of deliberation, he eventually says, "Skirt."

"Seriously?" Speedy asks rhetorically, laughing exasperatedly.

"Seriously," he confirms. "And I'm not gonna need your help." And with that, he exits the conversation by turning his back on her and heads to the nearest entrance of the building.

She nods to herself and follows his lead, continuing to pay no regard to the rest of the group. She doesn't care if Heat Wave thinks he's as tough as nails; she'd protect him over the others.

*—*—*—*—*

The first thing she notices about the warehouse is the unsettling feeling that gives off this vibe that something's not right. The others notice this too, taking each step cautiously as they look around for any threat.

"So... how'd you meet Barry in the first place?" The Atom asks her. She isn't sure if he's genuinely interested or filling the eerie silence.

She almost doesn't answer him. She doesn't owe him an explanation, but she knows she'll end up having this conversation one way or another so instead of beating around the bush, she opts to tell the truth. "He accidentally ended up on my Earth when he was training."

"How exactly do you _accidentally_ end up in a whole 'nother universe?" Firestorm asks.

She shrugs. She doesn't know too. "You'd have to ask him."

"Just out of curiosity," White Canary starts, "why d'you pick him?"

"Pretty girl with superpowers and is an alien? I know a lotta guys who'd have jumped at the opportunity to date you," Speedy adds.

She starts to feel more and more irate at the constant stream of questions and at the blatant assertion that she's the kind of person who'd just date around instead of waiting for her soulmates. It's _none of their business_.

She somehow manages to curb her irritation and calmly replies with, "I didn't have a choice. I wasn't exactly there when the universe decided for us to be soulmates."

Someone's footsteps falter behind her. She doesn't bother herself by looking to see who it was.

"Oh," someone mumbles under their breath.

Before anyone else can do anything more, the President steps out into the light, quivering from fear or exhaustion or both but looks relatively unharmed.

"Get me outta here!" The President begs, holding out his hands that have been cuffed for a non-verbal plea of release.

She's about to dash forward to free him from his bonds when she hears a low rumble she'd recognize in her nightmares. She looks up and, with her x-ray vision, finds a handful of Dominators with weapons just waiting for them.

"Release the President!" She demands of them; there's a slight sense of pleasure at being able to yell after what has just transpired in the last hour.

"We knew you would come," one of the Dominators say through their telepathic communicative abilities. She isn't as startled as the others are; she already knows what they can do, has _seen_ it.

"D-Did you guys hear that? 'Cause I heard it. In my head," the Atom says.

"Yeah, we heard it," White Canary answers, brandishing her batons.

"Well, if nobody else is freaked out by it, far be it for me to panic."

They're all readying for the inevitable fight. She knows there is no negotiating with these creatures; despite parading around for their vast knowledge, they're far too merciless for diplomatic relations.

She doesn't see the trap right away.

The Dominator blasts its gun at the President before turning on some sort of device. She isn't given time to react to the sudden death of the President when they're all clutching at their heads, trying to relieve themselves of the searing pain that boils within their skulls.

"Supergirl!" Heat Wave croaks out desperately. " _Do_ something!"

She can't, she _can't!_ She is rendered useless once again at the hand of the Dominators, falling onto her knees before the world around her melts into darkness.

*—*—*—*—*

She's unstable, trying her best not to crash onto the ground face first. Her head almost feels like when Siobhan forces her out of CatCo building just by screaming. When she stops seeing double of everything, she straightens herself and the first thing she sees is the Flash's iconic symbol.

"Barry..." She looks around. None of the others are there with them. She doesn't understand. "What happened?"

He's approaching her, with that signature smile of his. She wonders how he does that, how he smiles like he doesn't bear a whole world on his shoulders. Then she thinks that she's like that too.

"You didn't kill me, so my day's looking up."

Anxiety washes over her like an ocean. She's had a few nightmares about killing him, that she'd get influenced by red kryptonite again and end up murdering him.

"I-I'm so sorry."

Two nightmares come true in one day. Since coming to this Earth, it's the first time she has the urge to go back home and run into her sister's arms; she wants the comfort her sister always brings her and the hope that surges through her.

"You're not the first superhero to be mind-controlled," he reminds her, taking off his cowl.

"I'm sorry." She doesn't know what other words to offer to him. In one day, she's somehow screwed a lot of things up: she hid the truth about her true reason for coming to Earth, she didn't tell him she has another soulmate, she willingly left his side to form a team with a group of so-called heroes she doesn't even know, she almost just _killed_ him—

"Hey," he says, taking her hand in between his. "Don't, okay? We're soulmates. Like you once told me, we're each others' support systems."

She doesn't deserve him: all his love, admiration, pride and forgiveness.

"I love you," she tells him instead, before using her flight to zip her way to him to kiss him.

*—*—*—*—*

It's raining, almost like the sky is weeping in joy: the heroes has come back to reality after being whammied by aliens, that _is_ something to be quite happy about.

"So what's it like being all mind-controlled and stuff?" Felicity asks Mick. Why she is holding an umbrella over his head, she doesn't know.

"Like someone put a mixer in our heads set on high," Jax answers good-naturedly. Really, if Felicity's going to shield someone from the rain, it should be Firestorm.

"Yeah," Thea says. "Sounds about right."

"Barry," Ray calls out. "About before? Message or no message, we're with you."

She grins a little as she connects her forehead with Barry's bicep.

"Thank you," he says back, relieved.

She can see Jax nod his head in agreement and Thea smiles. Sara and Dig don't respond and their postures become stiffer, but there isn't any indication that they don't disagree. She takes it. Maybe they all _can_ be friends after all...

"Great," Dig says, "Now what?"

"Call Lyla," Oliver answers (damn him and his suit). "Tell her these Dominators aren't here peacefully."

Dig nods once. They all turn to head back into S.T.A.R. Labs to recuperate from any injuries they may have gotten, when, without warning, a beam of light concentrates around Sara and Ray and they just _disappear._

"Sara!" Oliver shouts.

"Ray!" Felicity screams.

 _No. This can't be happening._

Two more take Dig and Thea.

"EVERYONE, INSIDE, NOW! GO!" Barry orders them all.

She untangles herself from him and is about to fly Mick and Felicity indoors when she suddenly can't move. She sees the same light shine aggressively around her. She only has time to look up to find Oliver and Barry being surrounded by the harsh luminosity when she is once again knocked unconscious.

* * *

 _AN:_ _omg, i had so much fun writing this yo! :D_

 _i'm sorry for all mistakes. it's past midnight, i have school and i need sleep time now. all errors will be fixed later on this week._

 _Thank you for reading! Feel free to leave a review; helps me a lot!_


	4. Four: Kara

_AN: Huge shoutout to CharmedMilliE- Karry Master for helping me by providing much needed criticisms and advice! I'm so happy because this chapter would have gone way differently without the insight._

 _Thank you so much, CharmedMilliE- Karry Master! You da real MVP!  
_

* * *

She awakens to not only feeling incredibly weak but also to a completely new definition of pain; a terrifying combination she never wants to find herself in since it very rarely happens to her, if ever. She tries to curl up in a ball as a poor attempt to relieve herself of some of the pain, but she then realizes belatedly that her wrists and ankles are bound by what seems to be cool metal. She forces herself to open her eyes and, through heavy lids, it takes a few slow seconds for her mind to realize that her restraints are glowing a vibrant green.

Her eyes open further in a panic and she finds herself staring up at more green lights; the same intense shade of green that will forever spell a bad time for her: _kryptonite_.

She should know that she has absolutely no way of getting out of this with brute strength since it's slowly being siphoned out of her, but the need to escape trumps her logic as she struggles uselessly against the metal.

"It is of no use, Kara Zor-El." The cold and monotone voice that intrudes her thoughts without any warning renders her immobile with absolute terror. "The last daughter of Krypton of the thirty-eighth dimension, you and Kal-El escaped, but now, we finally have you."

She covers up her cowardice behind an icy glare as she quite literally spits, "Go to hell."

His smile, it's vicious and it is exactly the product of her nightmares for the past twenty-four years. "You first."

Six sharp metal rods stab into her sides. Her eyes burn, her throat hurts and her ears are piercing. She's screaming in absolute agony and doesn't realize it. She eventually passes out from the torturous pain her body can't handle anymore.

Meanwhile, in another world, Oliver dreams...

* * *

 _AN:_ _Thank you for reading! Feel free to leave a review; helps me a lot!_


	5. Five: Oliver

This probably has to be the most stupid thing he has ever done. No, scratch that, this is the most stupid thing he has ever done. At least when he'd been younger, he's had his excuses but now? He can't pin this as a drunken escapade or an idiotic dare. He's thirty-one, for God's sake! He isn't young anymore to claim to be dumb enough for stunts like this!

But here he is, doing it anyway...

He swings his other arm, doing his best to evenly distribute his weight so he doesn't fall because... this is actually a considerable height.

This action, however, causes unnecessary noise that's actually louder than he intended it to be. From the inside, there's a loud thud which is quickly followed by a yelp. Before he knows it, there's a flash of yellow and he's staring at a bleary-eyed Barry.

"Ollie?" He rasps roughly as he rubs his eyes. Kara comes up from behind him, also barely awake and quite honestly looking irritated. "What the hell are you doing?"

He breathes out through his nose, straining to hold his weight. Sure he goes to the gym, but that doesn't mean he can stay like this forever. He isn't some alien like Kara is.

"I... lost my key."

"You know doorbells and cellphones exist for a reason, right?" Kara deadpans.

He tries to be as sarcastic as she is, wanting to roll his eyes at her, but he isn't able to due to not being able to withstand his growing embarrassment. Sighing, he says, "I didn't... I didn't want to wake you..."

Barry crosses his arms over his chest, adopting the same tired look as Kara. "So... you climb our tree..."

"To break into our house—" continues Kara

"— Your house," says Barry.

"To break into our bedroom at ass o'clock."

"But couldn't because we locked the window."

"And just left yourself hanging like an idiot, waking us up thinking there was a burglar trying to kill us?"

His mouth opens to make an argument that he hadn't purposely left himself hanging, it's just that he isn't physically... able... to get down...

Yeah, he elects to not say anything at the last second because that's a horrible defense and not a good enough reason to wake the two when they're clearly so tired from a day of jobs and heroics. So he ends up just saying softly, "I'm sorry."

"You better be, you—"

Kara immediately shuts up and he is about to ask why when the branch he's holding on to makes that awful snap and before his stomach can turn, he's already in the comfort of his flying girlfriend's arms, with the said girlfriend looking down on him with a slight smirk.

"You're lucky I love you," she tells him as she flies through the window and into the safety of their bedroom.

His lips press together into a hard line in an attempt to shut himself up.

"No," Barry says as he locks the window. "He's lucky you can fly."

It's his fault he ended up in this situation.

*—*—*—*—*

... ended up in this situation.

God, he knows why he's in this situation; he's the mayor so yes he knows the obligations of being a vital leader for his city, but...

He's so riddled with guilt that being a city official doesn't exactly scream important right now when he just blew his daughter off to watch her act in the talent show that she'd been incredibly excited for, all for this damn meeting that he doesn't even know what it's for.

He'd said no?

How could he?

At the moment, this meeting had seemed important. When he'd been sworn in, the needs of the people outweighed the needs of his own. But the glare he'd received from Kara, disappointment from Barry, annoyance from William and Dawn's own crushed expression should have all been more than enough to let him know it hadn't been just him and his needs.

He cuts Malcolm off with whatever the hell he'd been proposing by standing up to rush out the door, not forgetting to throw in some sort of an apology that mostly likely came out as a guttural noise of indifference.

"Finally came to your senses?" Dig asks as he closes the door to the driver's side. "This is going to be a nightmare for Felicity."

"Which is why I hired her because she's a miracle worker. Let's go, Dig."

"Don't need to tell me twice."

And they're off...

... only to arrive an hour too late, an empty auditorium greeting him with its darkness and silence embracing him entirely, as if congratulating him on his assery.

His phone pings and it's a message from...

... his son, with a video attached.

Hope the meeting was worth it. By the way, here's my sister's performance, if you still care.

Dawn_Talent_ 4

He shouldn't have, but he clicks on the video and it's his baby girl singing, her voice being a perfect blend of Kara's and Barry's own set of pipes.

When his little girl reaches the bridge of the song, he's on his knees, drowning in his tears as his blood slowly mixes with nothing more than his regret.

"And what do you do  
When the one who means the most to you  
Is the one who didn't show?

You should've been here  
And I would've been so happy..."

His voice is small and frail as it carries into the large empty space, "I'm sorry..."

*—*—*—*—*

"... I'm sorry, Dad, but I can't," He whispers. His stomach is scratching itself inside out, his mouth is deprived of saliva and he doesn't understand how he's able to stand well enough for this conversation but he is anyway. "I'm not as strong as you."

He puts the gun against his temple, squeezes his eyes shut and pulls the trigger.

Click.

Nothing.

He screams as he throws down the gun, fingers tangled in his hair as he pulls hard.

Jesus, he's going insane.

"Of course it doesn't work!" He snarls, eyes still shut as hot tears ooze out. "I'm goddamn hallucinating! Dreaming!"

A hand curls on his shoulder and it takes him by surprise. He jerks backward and his eyes snap open.

"Barry?"

Barry looks worried, green eyes shining with tears. With the light that creeps in through the cracks of the cave shining down directly on Barry, it highlights every bit of angle and corner of the man that he loves so much.

"Wake up."

He shakes his head, as if the gesture would correct his hearing. "What?"

"Wake up."

"Barry, I-I'm not—"

"Ollie... please wake up."

His body shoots forward as he gasps for air, lungs screaming at him that what he's breathing in isn't enough. His entire body is drenched in cold sweat and it takes him a minute to calm himself, just enough to be somewhat rational. It takes him another minute to realize his right shoulder hurts.

"Kara... was a little too rough... trying to wake you," Barry explains as Barry gently brings the glass of lukewarm water to his lips. He drinks obediently and doesn't complain.

"Where is she?"

Barry sighs. "She's downstairs. She's a little... guilty."

He rolls his eyes and kicks the covers off of him. He doesn't think twice about it and heads towards their kitchen, where he finds her curled up against their fridge, arms wrapped around her knees.

He's quite grateful Barry doesn't stop him and instead just wordlessly follows him as he sits next to Kara while Barry takes the other side.

"Are you okay?"

"You're the one who's just had a nightmare and a broken shoulder, and you're asking me if I'm okay?"

"It's not your fault, you know."

"I broke your shoulder."

"Trying to wake me up from my nightmare."

"And I didn't even wake you up. And now your shoulder is broken."

"I've got a spare." He leans in to kiss the top of her head. "I'm okay. Really."

"I... know," she says in a volume that's barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I'm okay."

"... Okay..."

He leans against the fridge. "Thank you. Both of you."

*—*—*—*—*

... both of you now? He thinks to himself as he races down the hall.

"What the hell is happening?" He demands as he stalks into the med bay, discarding his bow and quiver to the floor.

With Caitlin right on his heels as are the others as they come barreling in, she says, "I think we're losing them."

He has a death grip on each of Barry's and Kara's hands as their bodies go on spasming. Caitlin and Cisco keep telling him to let go, but he can't bring himself to. Letting go of their hands would feel like losing them completely so he stays put and glares at the two. Eventually, Caitlin just scowls back but begrudgingly has to accept that he's there to stay.

*—*—*—*—*

... there to stay? No, he's not.

The bouquet of flowers in his hand suddenly feel like poison barbs and he immediately goes on to find the nearest trash bin to toss it away.

The patient behind him clicks her tongue and says, "what a damn waste," under her breath.

He straightens his tie and fixes his coat before entering the elevator to the third floor.

As soon as his hand is about to touch the doorknob that leads to Barry's private room, he stops himself. It's the umpteenth time he's come up here and he's never had the courage to actually get in there.

There's laughter that blossoms from inside the room, followed by the harmony of another.

He walks away.

It's okay.

Kara'll take care of him.

*—*—*—*—*

... him.

Him.

Who is he?

Oliver Queen.

He's the mayor, right?

Maybe.

Of what city?

Wasn't it Starling?

No, pretty sure it's Star.

Or is he the CEO of Queen Consolidated?

Don't know.

Oliver Queen?

Who is he?

Don't know.

Isn't he the Green Arrow?

What?

Don't know.

*—*—*—*—*

"... don't know!" He yells at his wide-eyed sister. "I don't know anymore! Everything's wrong!"

"I know."

*—*—*—*—*

"Ollie!"


	6. Six: Thea

She wakes up to a start, eyes adjusting to the sunlight trickling in through the crack between the curtains.

Her gaze widens upon realizing...

She's back in her old room.

Not the loft she formerly shared with her brother, but... her childhood home.

Wait, no. She's— She's lived here her whole life, what is she saying?

Ollie.

She blinks.

Right.

She'd screamed his name before this whole thing — whatever this thing is — reset. She has to get back to the others, to her brother.

Or... had it just been a dream? Wait, of course it'd been a dream.

She pinches herself just to make sure, and sure enough, it hurt.

She's about to get off the bed when she realizes she can't.

She's wrapped under the arm of Roy.

Just when she thinks the mind games can't get any worse...

Mind games? No, this is her real life!

What is she saying?

She very gingerly attempts to get away from his grip, but the hold around her tenses as he rolls and scoots closer to her, making disgruntled sounds.

"Thea... What are you doing? It's too early for anything..." he moans.

She almost chokes at the sight of his face when it pops out from under the pillow. It's been too long since she's seen him, been too long since they had been forced to break things off between them when they're clearly not meant for each other.

Or... is that even the right memory? No... No, they've been together for years now, ever since he'd been one of the guards hired to secure the venue of the Queen mansion when her brother had decided to throw another massive party following his umpteenth release from jail.

She closes her eyes to compose herself.

She refuses to accept that she's going crazy.

"I have to go," she replies softly, trying her best to swallow back down the tears that keep threatening to come.

Four years. They've been together four years. Why is she crying? Why does it hurt?

"Go where? It's..." he pauses and makes a quick glance at the clock, "Jesus, it's barely even six."

"I know. I have to go and—" Go and what? Or more importantly, go where? She doesn't even know. She wracks her brain for excuses that are reasonable enough and not completely far-fetched. "I have to go and meet Ollie."

"What? Now?"

"It's important."

"Sleep's important."

"You're tired."

"And you're mean." But there's a finality to his voice that lets her know that he's letting her go.

Debating within herself, she decides at the last second to just go with it: she leans in and drops a kiss to his head. She wishes so much that she hadn't; he smells exactly like he should.

...

She and Roy had broken up, that's the real memory.

Right?

...

She needs to find Ollie.

*—*—*—*—*

She realizes she has nowhere to go until she remembers her brother shouldn't be awake yet. The sun has extended its salutations to the city for barely half an hour, and knowing how hard her brother works, he can't wake up with the sun.

She feels stupid, having circled around the city once in her car. She doesn't know where to go or what to do. Maybe she really is going insane, with all these intrusive thoughts and crazy scenarios that bounce around in her head. sticking to her long-term memory as if they're the truth.

Perhaps she should get her bow and stick an arrow in some lowlife's eye—

God, what is she even saying? As far as she's concerned, she doesn't even own anything remotely related to archery!

She comes to a stop light and frustratingly hits her steering wheel. She... She really is slowly descending into madness.

Is she in the Matrix?

She lifts a hand and examines it, pale fingers glowing radiantly in the sun. She brings up her other hand and very delicately traces her left forearm... Something's missing on it, she knows.

Everything in her head feels right and, at the same time, it doesn't. She has bits and pieces of every single memory that pretty much contradict each other.

She remembers her parents, who are alive and well and happy; she remembers that her father is dead, her mother had bled out, murdered, right there in front of her, and that her actual biological father is Malcolm Merlyn.

She remembers that her brother had been missing for over five years and that he had come back as a killing machine, a shadow of the brother she loved before the accident until she realized he's still the same and he still loves her; she remembers him bring a typical kid of a billionaire before eventually going to college, where he now leads a quiet domestic life.

She remembers Roy.

She remembers red leather, arrows and bad guys; she remembers running Verdant.

She remembers words... dark words that had contrasted nicely with her porcelain skin, a set, imprinted at the bottom of her right foot and her left forearm; she remembers wanting a tattoo on those exact same spots but never getting around to getting them.

She remembers dying; she remembers almost dying from a cut on her knee that'd infected rather nastily.

She remembers the overwhelming urge to kill everyone after being brought back—

Her passenger car door abruptly opens and without even thinking, her right arm comes up, set in motion to slam the intruder's throat.

But the man just blocks effortlessly, like he'd anticipated her attack. When she's allowed a fraction of a second to think, she sees his face and realizes she knows him.

"John?" She asks, gulping down breaths as she calms herself down, removing her arm. She mentally shakes her head, the name doesn't sound right, but she knows she isn't wrong.

The man smiles good-naturedly at her; the crinkles around his eyes emphasize whatever kind of bond they have. He trusts her, and she trusts him too.

"John's good, but you call me Dig. All my friends do."

And just as the light turns green, her memories of this man slide into their rightful place: missions, lectures, injuries, near-death experiences and countless hours of babysitting baby John.

The car behind her blares their horn obnoxiously at her but she can't bring herself to care. Things for her are finally coming into focus.

She glances at him and there's this understanding of her realization, of her memories sort of making sense.

"This is about the fifth time we've met actually," he says as he looks at the road ahead pointedly, silently urging her to drive. "Always different but all ending the same."

She grits her teeth as she puts the car into first gear and drives. She knows what he's talking about: that damned stupid feeling of déjà vu.

"Nothing here is real," she states quietly.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees him nod. "Right. Whoever's doing this to us..." He shakes his head. "Point is we can't exactly trust any of our memories right now."

She nods, understanding... but she still has one question to ask since she doesn't exactly remember this part. "With these whole mind games resetting..."

There's a pause before he asks, "Yeah?"

"What happens before?"

A beat.

"We try and get Oliver."

*—*—*—*—*

"We have to go!"

"Thea? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be—"

"We don't have time! Everything's gonna go back to—"

"Thea? Thea!"

"Ollie!"

*—*—*—*—*

.

.

.

 _"Ollie!"_

*—*—*—*—*

 _._

.

.

.

.

.

 _"Ollie!"_

*—*—*—*—*

He instructs her to drive to Palmer Tech.

"Why?"

"Because another one of us is there."

Right. Ray Palmer. She vaguely remembers meeting him once or twice before this whole world had shot to hell and had gotten rebooted.

They are greeted by a receptionist with seemingly intelligent eyes and a rather nervous demeanor, almost stammering as she politely asks how she can help them.

"We're here to see Mister Palmer," Dig replies smoothly.

The guy next to her, raven hair pulled back into a neat ponytail that actually looks good on him, pauses whatever he's doing to gawk at the pair of them, fearlessly asking to see the owner of the building without so much as a prior appointment.

She knows these two, having been introduced to them last year, after the crazy fiasco that is Vandal Savage.

Caitlin and Cisco.

She knows that's the right memory of them because that's the only memory she has of meeting these otherwise strangers.

The woman — Caitlin — actually stutters this time as she replies, slightly stunned, "I-I'm sorry, but you'd have to have an appointment with him first."

Just as Caitlin is about to say more — probably apologize again — the elevator dings and the doors slide open to the man they've just been needing to see.

"Ah! Dig! Thea! Great! I've been meaning to find you two!" He greets as he walks to them, extending his hand for a greeting, to which she takes warmly.

As soon as she does, she remembers who Ray Palmer is to her and her friends: the billionaire guy with a genius brain and a fancy superhero suit that can shrink, having built it himself. She remembers the ridiculous crush she's had on him, up until it is realized that Ray and... some blonde woman she just knows is named Felicity are soulmates.

...

Wait.

Soulmates?

Now where did that come from?

She remembers soulmates... being a thing; she remembers soulmates being complete fiction and just a term of endearment for people to get into other people's pants more easily.

She doesn't know which is which.

Should she trust her memory of the spectacled blonde relaying how hers and Ray's words are completely mundane but sparks still flew, with her freaking out and consequently quitting her retail job fifteen minutes later?

Wait.

Words?

Now where did that come from?

She gently strokes her forearm.

"Uhh, Thea?" One of them says, she isn't too sure who.

She snaps out of her reverie. "Yeah, what?"

"We're going."

"Oh yeah, sure." She follows them out and takes out her keys. "Where to exactly?"

Ray turns his head to look at her, flashing his award-winning Colgate smile that's she's sure has landed him on magazine covers before. "Your workplace."

*—*—*—*—*

They meet Sara Lance there in the basement of the Verdant, where it's completely covered in thick cobwebs and utter disappointment. She sticks a finger against one of the boxes and almost physically cringes at how much her finger becomes discolored. She should really clean up the place...

"'Bout time you fellas got here," Sara says. She isn't too sure what that smirk means.

She remembers this place as pristine, walls once outfitted with weapons and red leather, green leather encased in glass...

"The Arrow cave," she mumbles under her breath without really thinking. She remembers her brother hating that it's called that. Despite the low volume, the others had caught what she said.

Sara's smirk transforms to a smile. "Great. You're remembering."

She shakes her head. "Not really. I have my memories. It's just a matter of—"

"Believing which ones are real and which ones are fake?" Sara and Ray finish for her, as if it'd been rehearsed.

She nods, slightly dazed, still she realizes: "I've said the same thing before, haven't I?"

Sara nods in lieu of a verbal response, but Dig supplies her with an actual reply, "Yeah, you did, but we're all going through the exact same thing, so we get it."

"Which brings us to our dilemma," Ray says.

"Right. How in God's name are we getting out of this damn world?" Sara says, tone becoming a bit sour, but hey, could she blame her?

"Shared hallucination," Dig says.

"A dream," Ray supplies.

"Well whatever it is, we need to get out 'cause it really sucks to have to wake up to my dead sister be all happy when in reality, she's very much dead."

She remembers Laurel hiring herself as her wedding planner; she remembers Laurel succumbing to her injuries at the hospital.

Silence creeps in for a moment, tension enveloping around them like she knows happened last time.

Dig sighs. "Every time we group together like this and try anything, we're just thrown right back to the beginning."

Sara's eyes widen in disbelief, probably at Dig's resignation, as she throws her hands up in frustration. "Then we try a different tactic!"

"Yeah, that's what you said last time." Dig shakes his head and crosses his arms over his chest. "Didn't work."

"So what works?" Ray asks.

Dig visibly hesitates to answer, but she knows exactly what he's supposed to say so she says it.

"We leave Ollie behind."

*—*—*—*—*

They're stumped. Obviously everyone is opposed to the idea of leaving Oliver behind in this twisted reality, but they see no other option. If the right memories are to be trusted, then she knows that all their prior attempts have failed. They've exhausted their ideas over seven resets and nothing. Everything in her gut is telling her not to leave her brother behind when he's saved her so many damn times, but what else can she do?

She remembers almost killing him on multiple occasions involving arrows or even just her bare fists; she remembers wanting to kill him for getting himself arrested again.

Everything's so messed and all she wants is her brother, her rock... but she can't, not unless she wants to be tossed back to the beginning, so instead, she goes to the next best thing: Queen Consolidated. Despite the urgency of the crisis she's in, she just wants— no, scratch that, she needs to talk to someone.

Before she can get in, however, she stops dead in her tracks; the sight of Roy at the entrance, bouquet of glowers at hand, stabs her in the heart.

Her chest feels heavy with blended emotions.

"Hey!" Roy says, smile stretching wide as he approaches her with his arms open with the intention of embracing her.

How can someone not real have so much genuine love in his eyes?

She knows she'll pretty much lose it if she gets lost in his arms, much less smell his familiar scent that'll forever remind her of home, so she resorts to dodging him by giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

He rolls with it and takes it graciously before presenting her with the flowers. She accepts them with a smile.

They're tulips.

She remembers Roy giving her red roses.

"So I was thinking... you know, maybe we can go grab lunch together before we head back to work?" He suggests.

She remembers Roy being a purse snatcher before turning into a vigilante, red leather; she remembers begging her father to give him a job at the company.

"Oh, sorry. I can't. I have to do this business... deal— thing back at Verdant." She berates herself for such a lame excuse.

Roy's smile slightly falters. "But you're... You just got here."

"Right. I just needed to talk to Dad."

"Your... dad's not here, he's in Australia. Thea, what's going on?"

Crap. Of course her dad isn't here and of course she doesn't know. Stupid fake reality...

"Nothing, I just—"

Fake reality.

Of course.

She shoves the flowers his way, removes the ring on her finger and stands straighter. God, she's such a bitch. "I can't do this anymore."

Flowers hit the sidewalk faster than he can get his words out. "W-What... What? You're... You're breaking up with me?"

She can't look at his eyes; it'll continue to haunt her even when she does leave this place, so she looks at his hair.

"I'm sorry. It's just—"

"Thea, I swear to God, if this is a it's-not-you-it's-me bull—"

"No," she reassures quickly; even she hates those kinds of breakups. "It's just... we're not meant to be."

He surges forward and grabs her hands. His eyes look into her, imploring for her to change her mind.

But she's still staring at his hair.

"I can change. Tell me what it is, okay? I can change!"

She remembers words, etched on her forearm — You just said my words — and on her foot — It's nice to meet you.

"You're not my soulmate."

"Soulmates don't even exist."

"They do." And you're not one of mine.

She walks away.

God, she can't do this anymore. This place really likes to dig into her.

To hell with it, she thinks, I'm meeting Ollie.

*—*—*—*—*

After an entire minute of waiting at the door to her brother's house against all logic, the door swings open, revealing exactly the man she's looking for.

"Barry!" She greets as she surges forward to do her best to embrace the man in the wheelchair, hopefully in a totally not awkward way.

She remembers Barry running, surrounded in lightning and red leather; she remembers Barry being struck by lightning, paralyzing him from the waist down.

"Hey, Thea," he says back as he returns the hug. When she pulls back, he asks, "So what can I help you with? We weren't exactly expecting you today." He backs up to allow her to come in.

She does, ducking her head a little in shame at the impromptu visit. "Right. Sorry. I was just, you know, in the neighborhood."

"Like always." He laughs, a genuine smile spread across his face.

She remembers being more than just a little mad at Barry for something he'd done; she remembers being there with Ollie at the hospital when Barry wakes up from his months-long coma, first instinct was to smile at them widely.

"Sorry," he says as he turns on the spot and pushes himself further into the house. "It's a bit of a mess..."

She scoffs. Nothing looks out of place, except maybe for the N64 system and controllers in the living room; Barry having obviously just played with it prior to her visit.

"Trust me, this is nothing." She decides to not beat around the bush. "Where's Ollie?"

Barry whips around to face her fully, looking slightly tired. "Upstairs. I just barely got him to rest... He's been up all night trying to..."

She nods, giving him a silent affirmation that she understands and that he shouldn't feel obligated to explain. Besides, he's not real...

There's this self-loathing that overwrites all previous expressions on his face that she's become all too familiar with. "He resigned from your dad's company, just stays in the house and what? Just take care of me?"

She scoots towards him and squats to be at his eye-level. She takes in one of his hands to force him to look at her.

"Ollie hated working that god awful business job with people who only care about money. He's doing this, yeah, mostly for you but also for himself. To him, taking care of you isn't at all a bother."

She remembers being furious at him; she remembers crying for him.

And she thought with Roy it'd been more than just confusing; with Barry, it's downright painful.

"Right," he says quietly. "Thank you, Thea." He laughs shakily. "When d'you become so wise?"

She kisses him on the cheek. "The day Ollie basically gave me a nightclub to run."

He runs a hand through his hair, a habit he does when he's trying to compose himself. When he drops his hand, he looks pointedly at the living room, at his gaming system.

There's a wicked smile on his face and she already knows what he's thinking.

"Bet I could wipe the floor with you on Super Smash Bros."

She smirks back; the subject's been dropped. "I grew up with an older brother and his best friend. I think I can handle myself."

She remembers eventually forgiving him in the rain, after he saved her and the others from brainwashing aliens, after he saved her brother from her.

*—*—*—*—*

She wakes up to the sound of the front door creaking open.

She cracks an eye open and she's met with the TV screen glaring at her, displaying the home screen of Mario Kart 64. She groans and makes a move to rub her eyes, up until she realizes she has makeup on and leaves her face alone. She opens her eyes all the way and finds Barry, passed out on the far edge of the couch where she'd helped him maneuver himself there.

"Hey, Thea."

She turns her head and finds the owner of the hushed greeting.

"Kara, hi," she whispers back.

She stands up and helps Kara with her load of groceries.

"Thanks."

"Yeah, sure, no problem."

They head to the kitchen and drop the groceries on the counter. She probably looks slightly abashed as she looks at the blonde, judging from Kara's slightly confused expression.

"Sorry for dropping by unannounced—"

Kara cuts her off with a gentle laugh, almost akin to that of a wind chime swaying in the breeze. "It's okay, Thea. We love having you."

She takes it and smiles.

"Should I make more food? Is Roy coming over too?" Kara asks as she starts to put the groceries away.

Thea's smile falters, just in time for Kara to look up to see it.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

She nods all too quickly.

This is fake so it doesn't matter.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just... Roy and I are no longer together."

The carton of milk in Kara's hands nearly drops at the revelation. "What? But—"

She waves a hand dismissively. "It's fine. I just... came to the conclusion that he and I aren't exactly meant for each other. Not like you are with Barry and Ollie."

Kara is stunned for a moment before her expression melts into one of understanding. "I get it. Did you meet someone else?"

Her eyes widen and she can feel her heart stutter a bit. She knows that soulmates exist now. She's known soulmates exist her entire life, she just temporarily forgot. She knows they exist, but she's also painfully aware that she hasn't met any of her two destined lovers.

"No, no. Not yet. I just need some time on my own."

Kara nods. "I understand." God, she's so happy Ollie had fallen in love with this woman.

Before a comfortable silence can settle between them, heavy footsteps and a gruff voice from upstairs sounds.

"Kara?"

"In the kitchen, babe," she sounds back before giving her a wink, "with a guest." Barry groans from his place in the living room, making it obvious he's woken from his slumber and that he's not happy about it. "Sorry, Barry."

"Who's— here..."

She turns and sees her brother. It feels like they've done this before, have seen each other so many times right before they're all pulled back and forced to start over again. If she doesn't know her brother or isn't observant enough, she never would have seen the slight panic in his eyes before he easily slides an expression of joy.

"Thea," her brother says as he approaches her with his arms wide open. She moves closer and lets herself be engulfed. Everything is fake, but her brother is real. "What are you doing here?"

She flinches; that's exactly what he'd said right before everything...

For some reason, her voice gets stuck in her throat and almost breaks down crying. She's had to deal with everything alone. Sure, the others are there with her, but they're not there for her, not like her brother, who's provided her with solace ever since she'd been a kid.

"Nothing," she answers, sounding forced. "I... wanted to see you guys."

Ollie laughs as he lets her go. "You saw us just a couple days ago at our engagement party."

She smiles, or actually pushes herself to.

She remembers her brother barely smiling in the past few years, truly believing that he isn't deserving of his own happy ending with his soulmates; she remembers helping him plan his proposal to Barry and Kara, chasing after his happy ending.

Her heart aches for him.

Everything here is fake, but she's never seen him this genuinely content, no burden looming over his shoulder or ghosts haunting his eyes.

He's happy.

Should she really ruin this for him?

*—*—*—*—*

She eventually bids the three goodbye when, in the middle of their conversation after dinner, Kara's head bobs forward, accidentally falling asleep; understandable, of course, after a day's hard work.

"I'm sorry, Thea," Kara says as she readjusts her glasses before standing up to hug her goodbye.

"Hey, you're Starling's best reporter. You work harder than anyone else I know. Don't be sorry."

Kara gives her a sheepish smile before she moves on to Barry.

"You still owe me a rematch," he says as they bump fists with each other.

She laughs as she heads out the door. "Why, when you and I both know you're gonna lose again?"

Oliver walks her out.

"I'm really glad you came," he tells her as the breeze picks up.

She remembers the relief that almost knocks her out when her mother comes into her room to tell her her brother is alive after five years believing he's dead.

She returns the smile. "Me, too."

She remembers the relief watching him finally proposing to the two people he loves the most, finally chasing after his own happiness.

She rushes forward and embraces him, tight because everything may be fake but this moment between them is real.

He rubs her back soothingly as he whispers, "You have to go now."

She freezes. "Wait, what?"

He roughly shoves her aside and expertly throws a dagger forward, the thing having come from nowhere unless she missed it.

Deathstroke goes down, with a blade in his good eye.

She stares at him with wide eyes as the pieces come together.

"You know."

His face morphs to adopt a brief look of panic as he looks around, as if anticipating for something to happen.

He knows. He knows this isn't real. He knows that they've been at it for a few times now. He knows about the reboots.

He probably doesn't mean to but he pushes her away.

"Go!"

"But, Ollie—"

"Get out of here! Go!"

So she runs, cellphone at hand, calling the others.

"Where?" She demands.

"Smoak Technologies!" Ray yells back, sounding out of breath. There's metal scraping against metal and guns shooting in the background.

She doesn't bother asking why or what the hell is going on, she turns off her phone and keeps running, tears clouding her vision.

Her brother knows, and he had chosen to stay. If she had asked, he'd probably say it's because he knows if she got him to leave with them, everything would restart again, but she knows better.

She remembers seeing his own set of words when their parents had taken them to Coast City for a beach vacation: one on his ribs that reads 'And you're Oliver' and the other one on his left thigh that reads 'Actually, it was only one guy.'

He chose to stay for Kara and Barry, the soulmates he'd rejected in real life.

*—*—*—*—*

.

.

.

.

...

.

.

.

.

*—*—*—*—*

They take off the wires that'd been attached to their temples and force their way out of the freaky chamber-like tubes they'd been in.

"You good?" Ray asks Dig, stumbling around as he tries to gain his balance just as the rest of them are.

"Yeah. It was just a dream but it still hurts like a son of a bitch," Dig responds, gingerly holding on to his side as if his bullet wound had retained from the dream world.

She's still dizzy, fingers digging into her temples to find some sort of relief as her mind is still stuck trying to comprehend what the hell just happened when she gasps.

"What?" Sara says urgently.

"You okay, Thea?" Ray asks.

She looks around to make sure. She locks eyes with Dig and gestures around wildly. "He's not here!"

But it's Sara who says it. "Who?"

"Oliver! My brother! He's not here!"

There's a stunned silence that settles amongst them, thick with panic going haywire.

"Thea..." Sara says gently. "Oliver wasn't... with us."

She looks at Dig, who just nods.

All she can do is stare back.

No, that can't be.

That's... That's not possible! She's sure he'd been taken along with them. She's sure he'd been with them. She knows her brother! She knows she hadn't been talking to a fake...

Hell! They even had talked about how they couldn't leave Oliver!

Right?

Why are they pretending like they don't know?

Or had she actually gone crazy in the time spent in that god-awful reality?

Before she can say anything or even do so much as blink, a blue sort of light catches all of their attention and the portal thing opens up to Cisco and someone else jumping out.

"Oh thank God I found the right place in the ship," Cisco says, out of breath, as he puts his hands on his knees.

"We're here to rescue you!" The other guy in the yellow suit that almost looks like Barry's says.

He uses his speed to stand next to her and Ray, probably to grab their hands so they can make the speedy escape, but his sudden presence next to her startles her so bad that it gets her mouth running.

"No! Don't touch me! I'm not leaving without my brother!"

The guy just sort of stands there, shellshocked. She doesn't get it; in fact, she almost slaps him just to get him to look away when he stutters out, "You just said my words."

...

Oh god why now?

* * *

 _AN: I tried my damnedest to make this in the perspective of Oliver, but it just makes so much sense (to me) for it to have been written in Thea's point of view. Also, I fell in love with this ship of Thea/Wally/Person-You-Probably-Have-Already-Guessed-But-In-Case-You-Haven't-I-Won't-Say._

 _Anyway, thank you immensely for reading and for staying tune to this! Feel free to leave a review; they help me a lot and make my day!_


	7. Seven: Thea

"No!" Cisco hollers, shaking the yellow speedster's shoulder once to knock back some sense into him (yeah, her _soulmate,_ one of the two people she's destined to be with, and she's yet to learn his name). "Escape from big, angry aliens now, bond to soulmate later!"

As soon as he says that, deafening horrific screeches echo in the distant, as if it'd been ripped out from a horror film; the quick clicking of footsteps is something akin to a clock ticking to remind them of their limited time to get away and live to tell the tale.

She takes a small step back from the others. She can't leave. She _shouldn't_ leave. She has to find her brother, who's basically spend his whole life doing nothing but keeping her safe from virtually everything that causes her heartbreak or physical injuries, which a lot of the time included himself or her own stupid, impulsive decisions.

But then she looks up at her soulmate, unable to deny the strong bond that's already been established between them, and she almost regrets having to look at his face. There's this call in his hollow eyes of pure desperation and she knows it's all for her, that raw fear.

"We need to go _now_ ," he tells her, somehow making it sound gentle and uncompromising all at once.

"But Ollie—"

"—will be found and saved. Trust me, all right? I have my own brother to find too, but right now, if we don't go, they'll catch us and we'll never find 'em."

There's this conviction in his voice that she can't ignore. And yeah, maybe she's being a little biased because he's her soulmate, but he's right. Of course he's right. If she goes on through with this insane crusade of hers without so much as her bow and a plan, then she's pretty much begging to be recaptured and put into that horrible world of fake perfection again.

She glances at Cisco and nods. Cisco sighs in relief and quickly opens up a breach.

When her speedster soulmate reaches his hand out to her, she doesn't think twice about taking it tight, jaw clenched as she becomes single-minded with the only intention of putting her suit on and bringing hellfire across this ship for messing with the wrong people.

* * *

She's long learned that reunions amongst superhero friends are both a treasure and a curse because superheroes never meet up under good circumstances. She would classify now to be one of those rare times that would probably count as good, seeing as a handful of them were just saved from alien probing... but they're still missing three key people.

As she trails behind Sara, taking charge like the natural-born leader that she is, she is pulled into a fierce embrace the second she steps into the Bridge. It takes her about three seconds to realize it's Felicity that's talking her ear off as warm tears hit her shoulder.

Somehow, her left hand is still entangled with her soulmate's.

"Thank God you're okay," Felicity's saying. She then pulls back abruptly and stares at her with wide eyes. "You _are_ okay, right?"

She nods quickly before really thinking about it. "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

The blonde then pulls her to briefly land a kiss on her temple with so much sisterly affection and quelled worry that it almost makes her wonder how Oliver and her aren't soulmates.

As soon as she thinks that, Felicity lets her go and makes her way to Ray, who has his arms already wide open and back bent to accommodate his much shorter soulmate. He captures her lips with his with a passion that's about the intensity of a solar flare, and she remembers just why Oliver and her _aren't_ soulmates. She has her Ray, and Oliver's an idiot who likes to hand out rejections to his soulmates like flowers.

Reunions happen all around her: the Legends greet their formerly captured captain and Caitlin approaches Dig, asking him if he wouldn't mind getting himself fixed up, seeing as he seems to be caressing his side as if it were injured. He obliges and follows her to the med bay, explaining that he'd been shot in their shared hallucination, and it still hurts.

"Hold on," Professor Stein says, piercing through the festive mood with a grave tone. "Where's Mister Queen?"

"And where're Kara and Barry?" Felicity asks when she finally breaks away from Ray. Her eyes grow bigger behind those glasses of hers by the millisecond as she scans the room in search of any of the three aforementioned heroes.

She looks at Sara and sees her face transition from relief to panicked in a matter of seconds. "They weren't with us."

"What? Yes, they were!" Felicity says back, voice shaky and loud. "They had to be! Just after you guys were beamed into the mothership, the three of them were taken too!"

"No, they weren't with them when Cisco and I got there," her soulmate (God, what's his _name?_ ) informs her.

Felicity does a double take before examining their linked fingers, as if finally realizing they've been stuck together since the whole rescue. She points at them and wags her fingers as her mouth hangs open. She knows that Felicity's trying to form the words to say but can't.

"Umm," is all she's able to elegantly put together.

Her soulmate brings their intertwined hands up with a big grin. "Soulmates," he supplies.

Cisco takes off his vibe glasses and says, "You know, I thought it was just sentiment when you said you didn't wanna change your nickname." He looks at her soulmate pointedly. "All makes sense now."

She cracks a small smile, realizing the gravity of his statement, remembering last year when they'd grouped together, meeting the Flash for the first time and consequently his team. Cisco, being one of Team Flash's vital members, had been there of course, spending the whole night of their first meeting nitpicking her name and giving her a list of other potential codenames that she, of course, had vetoed.

It's nice to think the universe sort of had a hand in that stubbornness of hers with her vigilante codename. Does that mean that her second is a speedster too?

No, wait. She can't go down that road yet; she's barely just met this one.

"By the way, sorry for yelling at you earlier, man," Cisco tells her soulmate _and why can't he just call her soulmate by his name so she can finally know?_ He pats his shoulder. "Congratulations, you two."

There's a couple choruses of congratulations from the others before Sara orders her and Ray to go get cleaned up and that they'll regroup again when they've rested a bit so they can come up with a decent plan of saving Oliver, Barry and Kara.

Her whole world still isn't right — her brother's still missing in that terrifying alien ship, as are his soulmates, who are also her friends — but having this huge group of heroes and her soulmate right there with her, she knows it's just a matter of time before they get them back.

*—*—*—*—*

She can't sleep, much less close her eyes. Every time she tries, she just sees that defeated look on her brother's face that resembles that of acceptance. She can't help but think if he thought that'd be the last time he'll ever see her.

She punches the mattress below her before pushing herself up to sit on the bed with her knees drawn to her chest, trying her best not to drown in this sea that she's been pushed into. When she was sixteen, she was just this big ball of teenage angst and all she had to worry about was homework, wondering who her soulmates were, missing a kickass party and the possibility of a drug overdose or alcoholic poisoning, yelling at the world for taking the one person she could count on. Now she's twenty-one; she hasn't gone to college or touched anything alcoholic for years now — not even when they do a toast — and her life somehow paved its way to masks, arrows, broken bones and, now, aliens.

Her life is now this perpetual balancing act of wondering if she'll ever make it home the next time she puts on the hood, and she's moved past the point of caring. She doesn't care because she has her brother and, by extension, his team and other superhero acquaintances, who she knows will always have her back in a fight or a threat.

There's a light knock on the panel next to the door, effectively startling her out of her spiraling.

It's her soulmate, outside of his hero gear and in comfortable sweats and a shirt, head popping in with a sheepish smile.

"Hey," he says softly. "Mind if I come in?"

She shrugs and he takes this as an affirmative answer, walking in and plopping next to her on the bed. She doesn't understand, much less know why, but she feels gravitated to him, like she's known him her whole life instead of mere hours. She leans against his body and rests her head on his shoulder as he puts an arm over her shoulders.

"I thought you'd be asleep," he says.

"No... I couldn't," she says back.

"I know. I could feel it."

"What?" She says alarmingly, eyes widening but she doesn't dare move. "We can do that?" She's heard about those kinds of soulmates, having more than just words to share and lives to merge. She knows there are those kinds of soulmates that can feel each other's emotions—

He chuckles lightly. "Nah, just messin' with you. Your door's open and I heard you."

Of course. "Oh."

Her fingers lightly brush against her left forearm where his words are stamped on her pale skin with his block letters. She can feel his head move and she knows he's staring at the black letters that proudly takes up half her forearm.

"Where's mine?" She asks.

Instead of telling her, he lifts his leg and pulls up his left pant leg, revealing her own cursive handwriting about needing to find her brother encircling his calf.

"I'm Wally, by the way," he says as he lowers back down his leg and _finally! It feels good to have a name at last._

"Wally?" she echoes.

"Yeah. Wally. Wallace for long, actually. Only Iris got the okay name between the three of us."

"Iris? Oh, Iris West. _Oh_ _,_ you're siblings! Wait, three of you?"

"Yeah. Me, her and Barry."

 _Barry_.

She inwardly smacks her face with her palm. She'd been too worried for her own brother to not have been able to connect the dots, completely forgetting he'd mention to her that his brother had been taken hostage too.

Barry. Of course!

"Barry's name is sort of okay," she eventually says when she realizes the silence between them stretches on for too long.

"You don't know his full name," he deadpans.

She pauses. She supposes he's right that she doesn't. "If it's _Finnbar—_ "

Her soulmate _Wally_ laughs out loud, in a way as if their brothers aren't in some horrible holding cell in an alien ship, probably being _tortured._

A few little more chuckles before he's finally able to talk. "No, no. It's _Bartholomew_."

Then _she_ laughs, and wow, it feels good to genuinely laugh as if they're normal people with regular troubles.

And they do just that for a while, just heartily guffaw because if they don't, she'll go crazy and so would he, probably. She feels right at home, filling the spot next to her soulmate, and her mind runs wild as she tries to think of a reason why she'd willingly give this up. She can't; just the thought of rejecting Wally wrecks her, and she thinks just how broken her idiot brother must be when he rejected _both_ of his soulmates.

"I'm Thea," she decides to say, realizing she hasn't told him her name yet too.

"Thea. Cute."

Their laughters eventually die down and they're left in an almost comfortable silence. She doesn't miss the way his shoulder slightly tenses, probably not wanting to break the ice so she does it for him.

"I have a second," she says quietly. She knows it's sort of taboo having more than one soulmate because your soulmates might not even be each other's soulmates (she'd know, having witnessed her mother have her father and his best friend as her soulmates while her father only had her mother as his) but it's not her fault; she didn't assign herself to have whoever it is she's supposed to be fated with.

"Oh. Me too." A beat. "Have you met him yet? Or her?"

She shakes her head. "No... Have you?"

Another beat. "Yeah."

There's this pang of pain that strikes her sternum. "Oh."

His arm around her tightens, as if it's his non-verbal way of reassuring her. "I'll introduce you. Once, you know, this all blows over and we're all back in one piece and your brother pulls his head of his ass and takes mine."

She doesn't know how he does it, but she laughs again.

"Yeah." She can't help but pray his second soulmate (or rather, first, since he met them first before he met her) is hers too. "I'd like that."

The ship rocks a bit and they hear the ship's AI tell them they've landed.

He rubs her arm twice before pushing himself off the bed. "Well," he drawls as he extends an arm to her, "up and at 'em."

"You know," she starts as she slowly draws her hand to take his, "this is exactly twice as many spaceships as I ever thought I'd be on."

He makes a doubtful expression while he hauls her up to her feet. "Technically, this is a time ship, so..."

Her nose wrinkles. "Okay, yeah, you're definitely Barry's brother."

*—*—*—*—*

When they enter their temporary base of operations that is the STAR Labs Hall, they're greeted by a pair of people she's never seen before: a dark-haired man with stormy green eyes dressed in blue with Kara's red S insignia on his chest, and a woman with a dangerous glint in her eyes that compliments the pair of guns holstered at her sides really well.

The mere presence of the unwelcome strangers prompts Mick to aim his heat gun at them; Wally's hand tenses in hers and she can practically taste his powers as they both assume the stance of getting ready for things going south quick.

"Who are you and why are you dressed up like Supergirl?" Cisco says, the second question directed at the caped man.

"I'm Supergirl's cousin," the man replies; his green eyes are so unforgivingly hard just studying them that she's afraid he'll use his laser-y eye powers on them, assuming he has the exact same set of powers as Kara.

"And we should believe the guy in a cape because...?"

The man almost looks amused at that question. He simply points to the S on his chest and tells Cisco, "I'm Superman."

Everyone relaxes just a tad at the introduction, but still wary of the woman next to him, glaring daggers at everyone and everything.

"Superman? Bro, just so we're clear, you and your cousin could've had _way_ better—"

"Cisco," Caitlin interrupts.

The woman takes one small step forward. "We tracked Supergirl's signal to this Earth when it relayed a distress signal." Wearing a black suit, sporting a bob haircut and talking in a nonsensical tone, the woman strongly reminds her of Lyla. "This is the last place she was in before the signal cut."

"Hold up, another Earth?" Cisco repeats quite excitedly, as if that's the only thing he heard.

Sara hits his chest with the back of her hand that squarely tells him that this isn't the time for that. "She's been captured along with two of our other friends, but we're going to get them back in one piece."

*—*—*—*—*

"God no," the woman — who she's now learned is Kara's adoptive sister, Alex — says; her hands closing into fists on the table. "Not the Dominators." The way she mutters it under her breath tells her just how horrific and traumatizing it must have been for a young Kara to have creatures such as Dominators to basically exterminate her whole species before nuking the planet to rubble.

"My question is..." Superman turns to her, "how is it only you that remembers Oliver was in that... dream world and none of the others do?"

She shrugs. "Maybe it's because I'm the last one who saw him? I don't really know either..."

"Or maybe it's like you said," Caitlin says, glancing at Superman, "'dream world!'" She states the single phrase as if it's enough to clear it up for the rest of the non-science-y people i.e. her.

But Alex seems to understand where she's getting at. "Of course."

"For the rest of us that only speak English," Sara cuts in.

Felicity purses her lips. "Can't you speak, like, four languages?"

Sara just gives her a look.

"What they mean is that the human brain has a huge storage capacity meant for memories and basically every important bits of knowledge," Cisco explains, "which means our brains are really good at figuring out which stuff's worth keeping and which stuff to throw out."

"Right!" Caitlin says, almost excitedly. "So since all four of you were in a dream-scape simulation, it's not really essential for you to remember what happened in there."

She tilts her head. "Wait so _why_ am I the only one that remembers?"

"Because, Miss Queen," Professor Stein says, "the dream was important enough to you that it was stored into your long-term memory instead of it being discarded."

She shrugs. Okay, makes sense, somehow.

"But her remembering that doesn't exactly help us find the others," Jax says.

"It does, if it tells us they're still alive," Ray says. "I mean, of course they're still alive. If I know Barry, he'll live."

"Barry?" Alex and Superman repeat at the same time with matching wide eyes of concern.

"Yeah," Jax confirms. "You know 'im?"

They simply look at each other with renewed determination, and that alone is answer enough. This tells her just how long Barry and Kara have known each other and just how long they've been dating, seeing as Barry has made and obviously maintained a kinship with his soulmate's sister and cousin.

Superman looks at Cisco with a pleading look. "Are you sure you can't... try again?"

Cisco shakes his head, more aggravated this time. "I'm sure. Every time I try to look for any of them, I'm either vibing myself into the cold, unforgiving vacuum of space, or I'm met with this... shield that throws me back."

"Literally," Felicity adds, probably remembering the last time Cisco tried and he was quite literally flying into a wall.

"What if we go about it another way?" Alex suggests. Her hands now more relaxed, eyes focused on the table in deep thought.

"Another way how?" Cisco asks, reclining back on his chair a bit.

She copies his movements. "Instead of trying to force your way through to them, you go into a completely different part of the ship and eavesdrop on some of the Dominators."

"See, there's a slight flaw to that plan: I can't actually open up a portal that far."

"Wait, so how did you get to us?" She asks, pulling Wally closer to her as she leans closer toward the table

"I was on the Waverider _in space_. I didn't try and open up a breach from here; my energy field can't reach that far."

"I see your point, but I wasn't talking about a breach to space. I was talking about your dimensional awareness. You said every time you try to see where my sister and Barry and Oliver are, you're knocked back by this shield. So why not apply the same principle, just to a different part of the ship? I'm sure you can find some intel on where they are that way."

His fingers tap together, looking like he's considering it. "That's a great plan and all but there's another hitch to that plan: no one hear speaks crazy."

Superman winces before inching a bit closer to rest his arms on the table. "Actually..."

Cisco scoffs. "Of course you can, _Superman._ Alright, let's go. Ray!"

Ray startles at the shout of his name and throws the random piece of metal they managed to nab from the room they woke up in.

Superman catches the metal with ease and hands it to Cisco. Cisco holds onto it, scrutinizing it carefully before clasping Superman's hand. Both their eyes glaze over as blank expressions slide over their faces.

It's a tense couple of minutes, waiting for the two to have their consciousness back. Her hand unintentionally tenses in Wally's hand, causing him to squeeze back in reassurance. She can't tell if he's putting on a brave face for her or if he's genuinely just as optimistic as she knows Barry is, but she's thankful either way.

Eventually, they both gasp and pull back, but Superman looks more rattled than Cisco is. Before anyone can ask anything, much less move, Superman flies out of the hangar. Just as they're about to run out after him, the ground quakes quite violently and she can only guess Superman just punched the ground. There's this animalistic roar of pure grief and despair that it makes her chest soak up the same emotions.

"Superman!" Alex yells after him desperately.

She doesn't realize her own eyes well up until they sting and she has to blink. God, she's been selfish just thinking about her brother when Kara and Barry have people who love them just as much as she loves her brother. She thinks back to when she'd been mad at Barry for playing god. He has all these great powers, but he's still just human. She doesn't even know his side of why he'd gone ahead and changed the timeline... was her anger at him justified?

The caped man comes back flying just a second later, landing a few yards away from them with his knees bent and fist on the ground. He slowly gets up and she's _terrified_ of his features being overwritten with rage, worry and desolation; not because she's fearful of what he is capable of but because of the circumstances that brings to light those emotions.

"I know where they are." His green eyes harden as his jaw tenses. "But we have to hurry."

No one dares ask what it is he heard; they can already guess.

* * *

 _AN:_ _LIKE SUPERMAN'S EYES ARE A UNIVERSAL CONSTANT: IN COMIC BOOKS, IN ANIMATIONS, IN THE DCEU, THEY'RE BLUE. BUT ACCORDING TO CAT GRANT IN SEASON TWO OF SG, HE HAS GREEN EYES. SO, WHAT?_

 _ALSO, TO MAKE THIS STORY MORE ENGAGING AND MAYBE A BIT MORE PLAUSIBLE, I TRIED TO PUT IN FAKE SCIENCE AND WOW I HATE MYSELF_

 _THANK YOU_


	8. Eight: Barry

His fault—

They're speaking, in that language he's so used to hearing but never understand. They're speaking, they're screeching, they're saying something that doesn't register.

—his fault, his fault—

Something cold goes through the six sharp rods that are stabbed on each of his sides, and he knows that's his meal for the day.

—his fault, his fault, his fault, his fault—

One of them approaches him, and he's never sure if they're angry with him or not because he's never really seen their faces move to make expressions. But they probably are mad at him; at this point, who isn't? He's the one who screwed everything up.

—his fault, his fault, his fault—

He almost flinches but doesn't at the last minute, remembering the consequences the last time he did. The collar around his neck is readjusted and he can feel the low thrum of the Speed Force within him vanish once more.

—his fault, his fault, his fault, his fault, his fault, his fault—

They're speaking again, to him directly this time, but he can't make out what they're saying. He's dizzy, and he can still feel the water that's blocking his hearing.

—his fault, his fault—

He tries to dream, think of someplace better than this, but they don't allow him to. He can't. Not when he's upset the balance of time.

—his fault, his fault, his fault, his fault—

He tries to think of his family, but they've been broken, because of him. He tries to think of his best friends, but he's gotten a brother killed and an evil meta split personality created.

—his fault, his fault, his fault, his fault, his fault, his fault—

He tries to think of Felicity, but she's had her surrogate niece taken away from her without even having known her. Dig... oh Dig and Lyla, they've both lost a daughter he'll never know. He tries to think of the city he's indebted to, but he's ripped it apart further when new metas are springing up from every corner.

— _hisfaulthisfault_ _hisfaulthisfault_ _hisfaulthisfault_ _hisfaulthisfault_ _hisfaulthisfault_ _hisfaulthisfault_ _hisfaulthisfault—_

He tries to think of his soulmates.

—his fault—

But he knows, they're better off without him.

—it's all his fault—

They force him back into the chamber with the water. He doesn't fight them.

He deserves this.

* * *

 _AN:_ _The next chapter is going to come delayed; I'm having trouble writing it 'cause I just can't stop crying._

 _Yeah. Let that sink in maybe..._

 _I just want to thank so much of you that have followed, favorited and reviewed on this little misadventure with me. Like legit man: 69 favorites and 99 followers? Ahhh! My god, I read every single one of your reviews and I'm just so grateful for every single one of you!_


	9. Nine: Cisco

_AN: it's august fourth... it's my birthday :)_

* * *

Obviously, they can't just storm the castle. Well, they probably could since they have Superman on their side, who seems to have a better hone of his alien powers compared to Supergirl but what about the rest of them? They need to have some sort of safety net should things go awry.

Wally raises his hand as if they're in a classroom setting. Whatever, he doesn't blame him; he's still in college after all. "How 'bout we—"

Caitlin shoots him down with a look. "If your next suggestion is using Nate as a battering ram, no."

Nate looks at the speedster, bewildered. "The hell, man?"

"Sorry... uh you know what? I'll make it up to you. First round's on me."

"Nah."

Yep.

Earth-1 is _clearly_ in safe hands.

*—*—*—*—*

The moment he and Superman had come back from listening in on the alien scum speaking that screechy terrifying language and Superman had to fly out of the hangar just to _scream_ , he didn't have to ask the dude what the hell he'd just heard; whatever evil the Dominators are doing to his friends... it's _bad_.

He doesn't know which one's worse: the fact that he immediately took back that Barry's not his friend, or that there's this sick twisted part of himself that told him that the bastard deserves it.

 _He went back in time full knowing the consequences,_ his mind had reminded him a second after the ground shook from Superman's fist.

Oh but the irony was everyone else knew it too, back in 2015, when everyone urged him to go and save his mother, to right the timeline that Eobard Thawne broke.

Well, everyone save for him. He knew of the implications time traveling can cause, and he made sure to tell Barry that.

 _"Why? Why would you ever consider doing this?"_

 _Barry's damn eyes... "You know why."_

But then Barry, of course, had to distract him with the idea of having to build a time machine — which was and probably still is one of the coolest things he's ever made — and the longer he and Ronnie spent on the thing, the more the time-traveling idea might not be such a bust.

Barry Allen is a man who didn't _have_ to become the Flash, who didn't _have_ to save people, who didn't _have_ to do anything (like what Caitlin originally wished for) but the difference between him and other people-turned-metahumans is that he _did._ He didn't even need to think twice about it. He just _did_ because that's who just Barry Allen is.

 _Damn Barry Allen and his self-sacrificing bones_.

Having cornered Barry in a hallway in STAR Labs, seeing the man distress over all the coulds and woulds and what ifs, that was when he genuinely wanted Barry to have that life he's supposed to have but...

 _"Look, I know Doctor Wells is an evil megalomaniac but he's the only reason I met you, Barry, and you're... you're my best friend. I know you have to do this. I want you to do this. I want you to save your family. I just wish everything else didn't have to change."_

 _"I can't imagine a world where we're not friends. Don't worry, Cisco. The universe wants us to be bros."_

He can still remember that non-tearful goodbye they'd had right in front of the particle accelerator where he couldn't bring himself to hug Barry because hugging him would make it real so he compensated by making a pop culture reference in a moment of melancholy. Aside from Caitlin, Barry Allen was the best friend he's ever had, who makes the strenuous effort of moving mountains for him and would do it again, who still smiles as if having been rejected by his soulmate doesn't kill him every time he and the Green Arrow have to work together, who didn't even blink when he revealed the Flash's real identity to _villains_ because his brother's life was threatened.

 _"I'm sorry, Barry."_

 _"Hey, no. I put you in that position. I'm the one who's sorry."_

And now everyone else is mad at Barry, not excluding himself.

His anger at Barry's mistake has him mystified every time he dwells on it. Is it really worth all the stress to be mad at his once-called best friend? He _encouraged_ Barry to do it the first time, knowing the consequences. He bit down and accepted that that was what Barry had to do.

His therapist says it's justified to a degree, that he can be angry because allowing your emotions to run through is healthy, although he shouldn't _live_ in it because that's when it becomes _unhealthy._

He misses his asshole of a brother. Yes, he was an asshole, but he was still family, he still made an effort and he still cared about him when it mattered.

And he _knows_ that Barry didn't kill him, that he wasn't the one driving the car that struck his brother. He _knows_ his brother was just another one of those caught in a slew of other unfortunate changes in the attempt of correcting the timeline Barry had ruined in the first place.

He knows, all right?

But that doesn't make it any less painful.

 _He deserves whatever's happening to him,_ his mind insists.

But does he really?

*—*—*—*—*

They left the hangar a couple of minutes ago; they're in space now, in the Legends' timeship. They had finally managed to do to make up, discard and salvage a plan that barely passes Caitlin's comfort, but it passes it anyway so they're going through with it.

Having been suited up and ready to go, they all wait for him to open a portal to where Superman had pointed on the schematics Felicity stole from the Dominator's server, which is exactly three hallways and two rooms down from where Superman said the three are being kept hostage. He looks up at the man in charge and he receives a nod in confirmation. ( _Note to self:_ ask about the necessity of cape and make sure to ask if he can make improvements.)

He exhales and puts out his fist, allowing the energies he's allowed to manipulate to warp and shoot out from his fist where a portal to the mothership manifests.

Their hard hitters and first-line defense, Superman and Steel, go in first, with the former flying in and the latter just running straight in.

Wally, their speedy getaway should things go sideways, exchanges a glance with Thea. They put that soulmate bond to good use, somehow communicating without having to speak. Thea nods and Wally scoops her up to race them both into the portal. That girl isn't supposed to come with but she's stuck in this I-have-to notion; no one could really talk her out of it and since Wally's her soulmate and the brother of another captive, that just cemented her need to go.

Alex walks through next, poised with her gun like she's _an actual legit spy._ ( _Note to self:_ attempt to make Black Widow joke/comparison; hopefully live after that.)

Now, it's only him that has to cross through.

The others who aren't coming, namely John, Sara, Amaya, Ray, Mick, Jax and Professor Stein, stand there in anticipation. John's still sort of out of commission; it was unanimously decided that Sara, Amaya and Ray shouldn't come because they still needed some people for backup; and having Firestorm and/or Heatwave in a confined area in outer space just seems like a really bad idea.

He glances at Caitlin, who's ready to prep the med bay, and she smiles at him in encouragement, twiddling with her power-dampening cuffs. Felicity smiles too, strained, as she waves awkwardly.

He wants to say something, some pop culture reference to mark the moment of a great battle in space before them but mostly, to ease the tension that forms on the front of his mind... he can't. He simply nods at the group and jumps into the portal.

*—*—*—*—*

It's quiet, _eerily_ quiet. The hallways and the walls look to be exactly what he'd picture for an alien spaceship that's both ancient but also decked out with tech. Sure, he's already seen the place once in his vibe but being there for real if a whole different experience.

The entrances towards rooms don't even have doors, like what the hell, Dominators? Do you guys just don't believe in privacy? Do they even _believe_ in privacy? After all, they don't exactly wear clothes and they do have telepathic capabilities.

The thing that really bugs him is the array of cubed green lights that line the walls. Like what kind of decorating is that? Whoever designed these should be fired. At least with the Waverider, it's like a legit spaceship— _time_ ship, whatever. _This_ is just too sad.

Alex stops and brings a closed fist up, clear indication for them to stay still.

Eggshells. Oh god, it's like walking on eggshells; they have to be extra careful. Like Mission Impossible-level careful.

They take a turn to the left and it all goes to shit.

*—*—*—*—*

As they'd anticipated, those ugly things come running at them, full speed and full volume. They try their damnedest to swipe at them with their weird claw-hands but with Steel taking most of the hits, Superman giving back most of the blows and Kid Flash tripping them up at super speed, they're in their prime! Occasionally, Thea would let loose an arrow and Alex would fire her gun.

He kinda feels bad, not being able to do any of the offensive attacks, needing to be kept in the middle so he wouldn't get hit by a stray laser attack or anything like that; he's their way home.

"You will not retrieve your three heroes, I'm afraid," one of the Dominators say. He isn't too sure which.

"Think again," Superman says simply through gnashed teeth, punching the one he's guessing sent the telepathic message.

"Kal-El, last son of Krypton of the thirty-eighth dimension." Kal-El? That's Superman's real name? That's a pretty... sick ass alien name. He's getting a little creeped out; how the hell do these bastards know Superman isn't from this planet, much less, this _universe?_ "You and Kara Zor-El escaped the first time. Today, we shall finally have you, too."

Before Superman can do anything, Alex shoots it in the head, which is both equally gross but totally badass, along with five other Dominators behind it. "Not in this or any universe."

Superman gives Alex a strained smile. "Thanks." He knows she knows she didn't have to since, you know, he's indestructible; he's called freakin' Superman for a reason.

"Hey, you're family too."

And wow, didn't he once say that to Barry just as easily?

*—*—*—*—*

Superman eventually leads them to an ominous hallway he knows is the right one. Wally bounces in place; he's unsure if he's still on high from beating up aliens or he's absolutely terrified and bouncing is his way of coping.

However, Superman sees and interprets it as something else. His eyes widen and yells out, "Wait, no, don't—"

But Wally's already running straight into the hallway. Or rather, straight into a forcefield that violently throws him back. Before his face can plant into the floor, Superman's already there, arms full of the speedster.

"Ow?" is all Wally groans, rubbing his head as Superman puts him down.

He feels just a bit of swollen bliss; at least now someone else knows what it feels like having these stupid alien forcefields knocking him on his ass.

"I did try to warn you," Superman says.

"So how do we get past this?" Alex asks, impatience evident in her tone.

Superman points at a panel in the wall then looks at him. Then everybody looks at him too with those expectant faces.

He rolls his eyes, trying his best to not look absolutely giddy.

"A'ight, a'ight, move aside, people. Tech support comin' through."

Inside, he's pretty much wetting himself.

If these weren't killer aliens, man, he'd totally compare notes.

*—*—*—*—*

He somehow eventually figures it out, far longer than Alex's patience allows but she doesn't take it out on him, thankfully; she takes it out on Dominators that somehow keep trickling in. (Ah but of course they'll keep trickling in, this is _their_ house they're invading; but after all, they started this when they swarmed Central so...) At some point, Alex did finish her ammo and just went full Bruce Lee on them sorry aliens.

And he thought Black Canary and even Supergirl were cool.

The others had simply stood back, watching in awe as Alex takes down alien after alien with nothing more than her bare fists and rage at them for taking her sister.

"Shouldn't... Shouldn't we help her?" Wally had asked.

"Bro, do you _really_ think she needs our help?" Nate had said.

Superman had cracked a smile despite the precarious situation they're in (heroism really does give you a strange sense of humor). "She singlehandedly defeated a hellgrammite. She'll be fine."

He has no idea what a hellgrammite is or what it looks like but color him damned impressed.

When he finally sees the forcefield flicker into nothing, that's when Superman decides to step in and use his freeze breath (he's sure that's what Barry called it when the others went all Winter Soldier on him and Oliver before they were beamed into the mothership) to immobilize the rest of the Dominators that the DEO agent hasn't defeated yet.

Alex glares up at him. "I had that."

"I know you did but Cisco's got the forcefield down."

And that's all he had to say.

*—*—*—*—*

The first person they spot is Oliver.

God, he looks awful. He doesn't mean that in a bad way, he just... Oliver looks so _awful_.

There are tubes everywhere, there are wires everywhere... Having saved the others from their dreamscape thing — with the chambers — seemed very benevolent compared to this. The aliens are treating Oliver as if he were an animal viable for scientific experimentation.

Thea staggers forward with a cry, pushing everyone that's in her way aside and discarding her bow but Wally uses his speed to catch it before it can hit the ground.

"Oh my god! Oh my god, Ollie!" She delicately places her fingers on his neck. She sighs in relief but...

He's shirtless but damn, he wishes he wasn't: in a span of just nearly four days of being held captive, he can see that his muscles have shrunk, not by a lot but just enough to make it significant. He looks way too thin for someone who's the Green Arrow. His face is sunken, his eyes have bags... Had Thea not checked for a pulse, he'd think Oliver's dead.

"Wait, don't!" Alex yells just as Thea is about to yank out the wires attached to Oliver's temple.

"We have to get him out of here!" Thea argues, eyes wild and desperate.

"I know but if you take those off, we don't know what could happen—"

"But I—"

"I know. But remember, when you had taken yours off, you'd already somehow managed to wake yourself up. Removing those wires prematurely could do something permanent, give him a stroke or cause irreversible cerebral damage." Alex points to Oliver's sides that he didn't notice. "See those? They're _in_ him. When we do figure out how to wake him, we'll then have to worry about him bleeding to death." She glances at him. "Cisco will have to wake him while we figure out a way to cauterize his wounds."

His eyebrows crunch together in surprise. "Uh, I don't think my powers work that way?"

"Cisco, you can vibe into space and _alternate universes_ on top of opening up breaches to them. You can do this too."

He really doubts it but who is he to argue? He's a firsthand witness to weird logic, you know, with Central City being a hotspot for things that shouldn't make sense. Time is of the essence so there's really no room for any more disagreements. He nods and steps forward, putting his vibe glasses back on.

"Let me come too," Thea says. Her tear-streaked face tugs at his heartstrings... only a monster would say no to that face.

"All right, sure, grab on to my shoulder." She does as he gets a firm grip around Oliver's bicep. "Let's hope this works."

Once again, he finds himself concentrating on his gut that feels the pull of the universe's energies, whirling around him as he commands them to make a clear path for him to shoot through. Sure enough, he and Thea end up... somewhere.

*—*—*—*—*

The world stutters around him as the scene changes from creepy pod to STAR Labs or, rather, the STAR Labs parking lot. What alarms them, however, is that they're pretty much surrounded by fire.

"Uh, should we run?" He asks.

"Do you really need to ask?" Thea retorts back and they run towards the haven that is STAR Labs. They _would have_ made it if there wasn't this really strong gust of wind that literally sweeps Thea off her feet and knocks him off his.

" _Thea!_ " He yells. As he prepares to open up a portal for her so she'll at least have a softer landing, Oliver's already somehow there, fully in his Green Arrow gear.

"Ollie?"

"We have to take cover _now!_ " Oliver instructs them. He follows the archer's line of sight and finds a red-caped blonde flying away. The hell?

He quickly yet clumsily jumps to his feet. "Don't need to tell me _twice!_ " He answers back as the three of them head into STAR Labs.

They walk through those familiar halls that he's grown to know and love as his home... _Home_. Even after Barry's mistake, he can't stop thinking about this place as his home.

"What the hell is going on in your head?" He asks Oliver to distract himself from going down the ill-fated memory lane. "This just looks like when these guys," he gestures towards Thea, "tried to go all Kill Bill on you."

"That's because it is," Oliver confirms, "except it's just Kara and Barry hellbent on attacking me."

"What?" Thea shakes her head. "H-How do you even remember who I am?"

Oliver sighs as they keep on walking ahead. "The moment you guys left, the Dominators stopped all the resets. There was no point anymore so they've kept me in this world that replays my biggest fears."

He raises a brow. "So... one of your biggest fears is being attacked by your soulmates?"

Oliver quickly grabs his bow and an arrow. He turns so quickly he has no idea that the Flash had been behind them this whole time. Oliver releases the arrow and it buries itself deep within the Flash's shoulder. The Flash gasps in pain and Oliver uses his moment of disorientation to stalk forward and deck the Flash in the face. The Flash crumples to the ground, unconscious.

"No, my biggest fear is killing them." He then proceeds to shove past him.

He takes that answer without another word and doesn't ask if he meant physically or through the bond. For someone like Oliver, a vigilante with a hefty list of enemies and a heart? It's both.

*—*—*—*—*

Being in a dream version of STAR Labs, he just assumed that the exit would be in the breach room. Why wouldn't it be? It's logical and completely appropriate. But then again, this _is_ Oliver's head. Turns out the exit out of the archer's head and back into the real world is through the cortex. Yeah, sure, that's... quite apt too.

Why Oliver's exit isn't in a fake version of Starling or Star City is beyond him. This is alien tech; he's allowed to be confused!

"Hey, you okay?" Thea asks.

"Oh yeah, I'm peachy," he replies.

"Wasn't talk to you."

"Oh." He turns and finds Oliver trying his best not to look like he's in pain, which he's totally failing at. "Yo, Oliver, ya alright?"

He winces. "Yeah. It's just... my sides are _burning_."

"Oh." He remembers what Alex said. He looks at Thea. "Looks like Alex found a way to get him to not to bleed everywhere?"

Oliver looks at him, mildly perturbed. "I'm sorry, what?"

*—*—*—*—*

When they get back their consciousness, he falls on his back.

"Whoa, dude," Nate says as he helps him up while Wally rushes to help Thea up. "You good?"

He catches his breath. Multiple vibes in one day, he's tired but he shakes it off. "Yeah, I'm good, thanks." He glances to where Oliver is and he finds the man doubled over with Superman supporting his side. He glances at his ribs and finds them singed but not bleeding. He realizes it's Superman that closed up his wounds, heat vision and all.

"Cisco, open a breach to the Waverider," Alex instructs. "Thea, you take him straight to Caitlin."

"No!" Oliver says weakly but firmly. "I... I know they're here too. Please, I have to be there... for Kara and Barry."

He almost roughly shoves Nate aside and storm forward to grab him by the collar, to yell at him and ask why he suddenly cares for his soulmates when he'd already rejected them but then he realizes why does _he_ suddenly care for Barry when he'd already made it clear their relationship devolved from being bros to merely coworkers?

Plus there's the whole thing where Oliver isn't even wearing a shirt for him to fist so...

"And how exactly will you be there for them if you end up _dying_ _?_ " Alex argues. He doesn't know if she's aware Oliver's their third but he figures she probably does; older siblings are like that. She looks at Thea and ignores Oliver's protests. "Make sure he gets to the med bay."

Thea nods fiercely, probably overwhelmed with emotions going haywire at finally having her brother within her grasp. He gets it; he's her only family left.

He punches his fist and a breach directly to the Waverider's bridge where he knows the others are waiting to receive them. They watch as the portal closes behind the Queen siblings, with the older one yelling that he needs to go with them to save Kara and Barry.

*—*—*—*—*

The next one is Kara, who's just a room away from Oliver. Just before they can get to her, Superman moans in pain and doubles over.

"Superman?" Alex says urgently. "Superman? _Clark_ _?_ "

Wait, _Clark?_ Isn't he supposed to be Kal-El?

"Dude, maybe... you should sit this one out," Nate says.

"No, I just— Alex, they have kryptonite!" Superman manages to say.

He and Wally look at each other, wide-eyed and completely at a loss. _Kryptonite_ _?_ Bad guy aliens, good guy aliens, timeships and superpowers... his life really is straight out from a comic book. Not that he's complaining.

"What's kryptonite exactly?" Wally asks.

"It's— Ah, dammit, we don't have time for this! We have Steel and Kid Flash, okay? We can handle the extraction from here on out."

"But—"

"We'll get Sara Lance in here too if we have too. You know me, Clark, I won't leave until I find Kara and Barry."

So he ends up breaching Superman back into the Waverider and Sara comes hopping through, ready with her batons.

"You called?" She says with a smirk.

"All right, c'mon."

Kara looks just as horrible as Oliver was but at least the Dominators had some level of decency of keeping her clothed. There are green lights that line the walls and a red sun lamp shining straight at her. Tubes and wires are scattered everywhere too. There's this chamber of water next to her that scares the bejesus out of him because he just _knows_ they used it on her; her hair is damp.

Alex rushes forward and kicks at the lamp. The thing crashes to the ground and breaks. Alex, for the first time since meeting her, loses her cool and he can see her shaking.

"Wally," she says, voice wavering despite her best efforts, "I need you to turn off the kry— the green lights."

"How?"

"Just— find the kill switch, okay?" She hands Sara a bomb-looking thing, completely ignoring his own wide eyes of complete confusion and slight alarm. " _This_ is a yellow sun grenade. Pull this pin out when Nate gets rid of these." She points at the horrific rods stuck in Kara's sides. Nate nods and starts to do his part of the plan. She then looks at him. "Cisco?"

*—*—*—*—*

"Fair warning," he starts to say as they look around in what appears to be someone's apartment, Kara's he's guessing, "the Dominators had Oliver's worst fear on repeat. I'm guessing they're doing the same to—"

" _Go away!_ "

They turn and find Kara laying down on her coach, in a... wedding dress?

"Kara, oh my god," Alex says, running straight to her sister. "Hey, it's me."

Kara looks up and mildly looks irritated instead of the relief he was picturing. "I know who you are but I said no so just leave me alone, Alex," Kara replies as she presses a throw pillow against her face.

Alex grabs the pillow. "I'm the _real_ Alex, not your dream version of me. I'm here to get you out."

Kara studies the DEO agent, scrutinizing her for the truth. She groans and forces herself up into a sitting position. "I'd ask you for proof but I wouldn't know anyway since this is all in my head."

He coughs to make his appearance known. "Uh, hi? I think I'm proof enough that we're actually here."

Kara looks over at him and recognition rewrites her features before anger glazes over her eyes. He fidgets under the intensity of her scowl. He never thought this lovely young woman could have a glower so mean that it gives the Green Arrow a run for his money.

"Cisco," She says simply but manages to somehow sound really hostile.

"Yep."

She sighs and stands, clearly annoyed and flustered over her wedding dress, which, by the way—

"Why are you in a wedding dress?" Alex asks; thank God she did 'cause he wasn't too sure Kara would answer him in a friendly manner, or answer him at all. He has no idea what he did to piss her off but, hey, he somehow did. ( _Note to self:_ find out what pissed off overpowered alien and make note _not_ to do it again.)

"The Dominators think _this_ is my worst fear," she says as she angrily gestures at her dress.

"Getting married?"

"No! Being left alone!"

Silence settles in for a moment.

Alex places both hands on either of Kara's shoulders, making it seem like he's intruding on a very intimate sibling moment. "Well... is it?"

Kara shakes off Alex's hands and kicks at her coffee table. "It _was_... but after everything, Barry still forgave me, Alex. He still loves me."

Foot in mouth, he doesn't think when he starts, "Maybe it's Ol—"

"I don't really care about Oliver right now. He's made his decision. He doesn't want me and Barry." She glares at him; she doesn't need her heat vision, she can kill him with that stare alone. "Get me out of here."

"Uh... we kinda have to find the exit..."

"We're standing in it," she snaps before shaking her head, looking down. "Sorry, sorry. I've been stuck here for too long, okay? It was scary at first but now I'm just mostly pissed."

"At the Dominators?" He shouldn't have asked but he just _has_ to make sure. He doesn't want to have to die fighting Dominator aliens when he's more likely to be killed by an alien that's on _their_ side.

"Mostly," she reiterates through gritted teeth.

*—*—*—*—*

When they hop back to reality, he feels _exhausted_ but he fights through it.

Kara, on the other hand, looks _great_ , exuding tremendous power just from her aura alone. It's as if she's never even been held captive by psycho aliens in the first place. Huh, yellow sun grenades really work wonders for their kind he guesses.

She rips out the wires connected to her temples. A hand curls around the side of the tube she's in and it _bends_ under her strength as she steps out. She turns and _kicks_ and _beats_ the thing until it looks like it's had a nasty run-in with a bulldozer.

She whirls around and her eyes are glowing red.

"Let's find Barry."

No one argues with her.

*—*—*—*—*

His chest tightens and his stomach drops at the sight of Barry. The millisecond he saw the man, he forgave him. He forgave him for everything and he realizes just how wrong his anger was.

Okay, he deserved to be angry for having his brother be a casualty in a war on physics Barry didn't have to have but his attitude towards this man who's made himself his bro was unjustified.

For God's sake, he lost his _father_. In a time of soul-crushing grief, who honestly wouldn't do the same?

He was wrong, Barry, goddammit, just please be alive.

He'd already lost a brother; their relationship had been strained at best but at least Dante died knowing he cared about him. Now he's staring at Barry, a man he now doesn't deserve as a brother but will forever be one to him, and now he could die thinking he hated him.

He's in a tank — a damn tank as if he's a fish experiment. Kara is about to fly forward and break him out when Nate stops her with a cautious hand to her shoulder.

"Like your sister told Thea, if you break him out now, you could be causing more harm," he says.

She shakes her hand off. "Then what exactly is the plan?"

He pushes himself forward without a word, desperate to get Barry Allen back and he hopes he does get him back in one piece, hopes to mend and regain the relationship they had between them.

Saline pricks his damn eyes and he hates himself for it. Barry doesn't deserve his tears because he doesn't deserve Barry.

"Grab hold of my shoulder," he tells Kara as he places a hand on the tank.

This is wrong, he knows it is. He's supposed to be physically touching Barry for this to work but there's no way for him to do it without compromising Barry's safety so he supposes this will have to do.

*—*—*—*—*

"Where... are we?" Kara asks, unnerved as she clenches and unclenches her fists at her sides.

"Time Vault," he answers quietly, empathizing with the unsettling feeling he knows Kara is having; the Time Vault does that.

The Time Vault, the one place in STAR Labs that shouldn't belong, the lair of evil Wells... it doesn't surprise him that this is the epicenter of Barry's fears. He'd think maybe his childhood would be it but he guesses that place is more sad than scary.

"Barry—" He stops when he's literally being blocked by something unseen. He hits it with his palm but nothing happens. Kara joins in and he freaks him out a little how this girl with the superhuman strength can't break whatever shield this is.

"Why can't he hear us?" Kara demands, panicked. "Why can't he _see_ us?"

"I didn't even know I had the power to traverse into people's minds until today but my hypothesis is that, because I couldn't make a physical connection to Barry, I can't go _into_ his mind and interact with him, just observe." He looks over to Kara and nervously asks, "Do you know his biggest fear?"

Kara's face is pinched, blue eyes glassy. "Letting everyone down."

It sends a chill down his spine. He's pretty sure he's said that to Barry, right in his face... _twice_.

Barry's just standing there in front of the projected newspaper article from the future. Except this one isn't about the Flash going missing; it's about the Flash failing to have saved Central City and it's Kara's name on the byline, not Iris'.

"I... I just want to get out of here," Barry says softly. He winces at the shakiness of Barry's voice. It's all wrong because Barry never sounds like that; even in the face of his greatest tragedies, he held himself high and pushed through.

" _Now_ you want help? Right after playing god, thinking you could control everything and everyone? Right after you _let everyone down?_ " A disembodied voice echoes; he recognizes it as his own.

He remembers saying that, after Barry revealed Dante had been alive in his original timeline, after he pushed Barry away, after he declared he can't be friends with his brother's killer.

"I tried to fix the timeline," Barry argues back weakly. "I begged Thawne to kill my mother all over again."

He freezes. He...

He realizes that at some point, Barry had to have realized that Flashpoint was wrong, otherwise he wouldn't be here. It was the catalyst to getting things right: his mother's murder by Eobard's hand.

He feels sick, feeling bile rise up from his guts.

Barry had to live through with his mother's murder _again_ after already having watched his father die in the exact same spot months prior, only to come back to their original timeline more broken that it seemed it was.

You can never compare tragedies. His own loss of his brother is as devastating as he perceives it to be but having to watch their mother die _three_ times? That would throw him over the edge of sanity had it been him.

"God, you and your little pity party. It wasn't just you that lost people and had their lives ruined! _Get over it!_ "

"You know for a hero, _Flash_ , you sure let a lot of people _die_." It's Caitlin this time, back when she was Killer Frost for a little while.

"I know, I tried to help—"

"Help? _Help?_ You don't _care_ —"

"That's not true—"

"Super speed may be the Flash's powers but, Barry Allen, your power is somehow tricking people into thinking you give a damn about the rest of us except yourself."

Barry doesn't answer. He looks like he _can't_ answer. Kara still pounds on the force that keeps them both out; he, on the other hand, can't do anything. Not even stop the tears.

"I can't sleep anymore, Barry." Wally. "I just... I get so many nightmares. It _hurts so much_ that I just can't sleep anymore."

"You _broke_ us." Iris. "We were fine and I thought you knew that too. Dad, Wally and I were all fine until you just had to run back in time."

"I... I didn't—"

"You didn't _think_ , that's right!" Harry. "Always looking for a shortcut to his own happiness."

"Do you even _deserve_ happiness?" Oliver. "When you've let so many people down? Ruined so many lives? _Erased_ _my best friend's daughter from existence?_ "

"Didn't you make a promise to Eddie and Ronnie that they'd be fine? Your _dad?_ " Caitlin. "All you do is leave a trail of death and suffering behind you."

"You know, kid, I did my best to raise you." Joe. "I guess my best wasn't good enough."

"You _did_ this to me!" Caitlin.

"I—"

"'I,' always with the 'I!'" It's him again. "You're so _selfish_. You saved your parents but you can't even save my _brother_ _?_ What a goddamn hypocrite!"

He punches the shield to no avail. He _hates_ that his words are words he'd actually said. "He _couldn't!_ " He screams, voice going completely unheard by the one who needs to hear it the most.

"Sorry..." Barry whispers.

"No, you're not! Stop playing innocent! You can't win back our forgiveness just 'cause you're _sad_. Not this time, Barry."

"Oliver was right to reject you." Kara. "I wish I'd met him first to have known to reject you too. I'm sorry, Barry, but I can't be with a liar and a killer."

"Son, you're better than this." Henry.

"My beautiful boy... why did you become this way?" Nora.

He turns, can't bear the agony on Barry's face as he takes it all, all the things he knows haunts him at every turn even before the Dominators. His back slides down against the shield as Kara keeps on pounding uselessly.

"I'm sorry, Barry," he sobs brokenly.

But it's too late to apologize.

They can't pin this one on the Dominators; it was them that broke Barry. But chiefly, it had been him, all him.

And like Caitlin said, sometimes when things get broken they can't be fixed...

* * *

 _Shameless self-promotion: come say hi/follow me on tumblr at temmie-loony. I post a LOT of Karivarry stuff on there that I can't really put into fics._

 _AN: alex is the star of the chapter despite it being in cisco's point of view. i love alex okay? i wish i had a big sister like her._

 _also barry's fear is essentially ripped out from life is strange. that game (along with last of us) freaking tore my heart out. so... yeah._

 _As always, thank you. :D_


	10. Ten: Caitlin

_AN: So I got this anonymous review from the last chapter that says,_

 _"That doesn't make sense. In chapter 8, Barry truly believes that he deserves to be punished but then this chapter comes and he wants to leave?"_

 _I wanna address it before moving on._

 _Yes, in chapter 8, Barry's seems to be having a mantra that he deserves all the pain and torture the Dominators are putting him through. But there's a difference in what one thinks and what one believes. Because of the inner turmoil Barry is going through from all his accumulated mistakes, he_ thinks _he deserves what's happening to him, but deep down, he wants to get away. It's just a natural survival instinct to want to get away from whatever it is that's hurting them._

 _So yeah, that's my explanation, I suppose._

 _Also, please note I have little to no medical knowledge. Bear that in mind. I have a certificate in first-aid training though..._

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

"Doctor Snow, I'm pleased to report that Mister Queen's vitals have stabilized."

She _knows_. She has eyes; she can see Oliver's vitals on the monitor but she remains polite. "Thanks, Gideon."

Thea shifts in the seat next to her brother's bed, bags on her eyes evident from the tears of relief she's been shedding. "Is he going to be okay?"

It's a legitimate concern, she understands. Despite the fact that her DNA is infused with the meta-gene, meaning there's always this possibility of her completely losing herself to her icy psychotic split personality imminent over her head, that doesn't mean she's lost her compassion as Caitlin Snow, licensed medical doctor.

Approaching the scared young woman with the pragmatic tenderness, she slips off the stethoscope from her ears and wounds it around her neck. "Physically, he'll be fine. He's just a little malnourished and dehydrated. The metal that'd been embedded in his sides gave him a couple of hairline fractures on his ribs. The cauterization Superman did to stop the bleeding is actually pretty good. Aside from that, he'll heal, Thea."

But Thea's smart; she has to be for her line of work as a civilian and as a vigilante. The young brunette's gaze holds hers with a weight of that who is grieving; she can't look away. "That's not what I meant."

She knows that's not what she means. In their certain professions, the younger being a vigilante and the older being a medic, they're no strangers to life-threatening injuries. Even though they are both a witness to several near-deaths and _actual_ deaths, they make it through day by day because that's how one lives when one has this kind of job. They have to will themselves to believe those of them who risk their lives saving people, protecting them, will make it through another week because if they don't, they can lose themselves to paranoia.

But heroics has it toll on heroes. There's a reason not so many people want to do it. It's hard to keep loved ones at arm's length because they know bad people can use that to their advantage. It's hard to have a normal life when catastrophe can ooze out from anywhere. It's hard to see the ones affected by the ones they couldn't save.

It's hard to be _selfless_.

She glances back at her patient and friend.

If she's going to be perfectly candid, she _hates_ it here in the Legends' ship. It's great for a piece of technological advancement but she doesn't like the med bay _at all_. Yes it's futuristic, yes Gideon's there but technology can never compare to sure hands. There's always going to be a margin of error, _human_ error, but at least back in her station in STAR Labs, she has the power to _do_ something. She can monitor vitals, perform surgery, draw blood, do tests, _anything_ to keep her hands and mind busy, to keep herself from worrying.

But she can't do that here. It's all _too_ advanced and all she can really do is wait for Gideon's constant updates and watch the monitor as Gideon does her job so she just stands there by Oliver's side like a tool that isn't needed for this particular job.

It's supposed to be _her_ job.

Ever since the particle accelerator exploded, her predictable world was thrown upside on its head. Her life now is anything _but_ predictable. In a room full of medical equipment and maybe an MRI, that's enough for her, _predictable_.

And then aliens.

It just had to be aliens they have to deal with now.

 _Will_ Oliver be okay?

After hearing from John Diggle the extent of their fake world of absolute perfection, then Thea's testimony of Oliver's further psychological torture and now a witness to every injury that's been inflicted on him, she can't be too sure if he'll bounce back from this one quickly. She inwardly shudders as she remembers the half-crazed eyes Oliver possessed before she had to tell Gideon to sedate him so he can't hurt himself further.

 _"Barry! I need to go! Kara!"_

She's a doctor, a steady figure of authority over certainty. To Thea, her word on Oliver's condition is God because she is his physician.

"I don't know," she ends up saying, melancholy but genuine, "but he's Oliver. He'll be fine."

Thea takes her word for it.

Just as she's about to lay a consoling hand on the younger woman's shoulder, a breach appears and out pops Cisco.

"Cisco? Where's—"

She gets cut off quick. "Shh! No time to explain! We need your help!"

She gawks at him with wide eyes. " _Me?_ " _Of all people in this ship filled with heroes,_ goes unsaid.

"Well, we have a doctor back there but seeing as she's trying her best to keep an incredibly angry super-powered alien at bay, we need a second one."

"Why do you need a doctor?" Her mind immediately goes to Barry. How bad is he that they can't get him to her?

"We don't have time! The Dominators could come back any second!"

She doesn't hesitate. "Okay."

*—*—*—*—*

The first thing she notices is yellow lightning dashing around the room. Just yellow, pure yellow with no ounce of red so she knows that's Wally running around. Nate and Sara stand by the entrance, acting as defense. Kara and Alex are right in front of her, with the former bending a piece of metal in her hands while the latter is comforting her. And right behind them is a tank full of what looks to be some sort of clear liquid.

And Barry's inside it.

"Oh god!" She exclaims, running forward, hands running against the glass.

There's that feeling again of absolute fear and anger, bubbling beneath her skin, demanding her to pay attention, to _let go_. Even though she has the bracelet inhibitors, that voice within her is so _loud._ However, in all the times she's had that cold turmoil within her, she doesn't listen, doesn't heed to it. One of her best friends is in danger; Barry doesn't need her wreaking havoc across this ship when the situation clearly calls for a doctor and not a meta.

"Get him out!" She shouts, pounding a fist against the tank.

Lightning stops next to her. "That's the problem!" Wally tells her. "We don't know how! I can't find a button or anything!"

"So how are we supposed to get him back?"

"That's what we're hoping you'd know?"

She can't answer. Her mind is racing for ways to get Barry out _safely_. She looks up and finds his temples attached to wires. She understands now why Alex is controlling Kara; they can't have her bust him out not knowing the devastating consequences it could do to him. There's a collar around his neck and she instantly recognizes it as a power-inhibiting collar.

Ice beneath skin, she's slowly losing the battle that shouldn't even be taking place. She has the cuffs, and she can't lose herself in such a crucial time so she takes in a deep breath to ground herself.

God, he's thin, _scari_ _ly_ thin for someone with a metabolism that's always skyrocketing. His face is gaunt, his ribs are protruding, the skin on his sides looks more torn that it was on Oliver. By the way his limbs look, she's scared his muscles are going into an atrophied state. With the collar on, his muscles can't regenerate themselves...

There's no other way. There's no other way she can think of to get him out quickly, for her comfort and for his safety. They're standing in a ticking time bomb; they don't know when they'll get swarmed by aliens running on bloodlust.

"We have no choice," she says carefully.

"But—"

"We have no choice!" She repeats, facing Wally. "We have to get out of here quick and I'm not seeing any of us making any progress to getting him out." She glances at Kara, whose eyes are glowing just a bit. "Kara."

She nods, looking relieved at the development of a plan. Alex lets go of her shoulder.

"Sara, we're going to need to head back to STAR Labs," she says.

"Oh no, you can go on ahead and tell Gideon. Nate and I are staying back to have a little _chat_ with our alien friends."

She nods at the blonde. Nate looks at Sara. "We are?"

Any further comments are halted by the sound of glass shattering.

*—*—*—*—*

Without missing a beat, Cisco tells Gideon to take them back so the Waverider immediately goes back to present-day Central City, right in the parking lot of STAR Labs, ignoring the questions the others throw at them. Superman takes one look at Barry's state and Kara's panic, and flies straight into the atmosphere, presumably to help Sara and Nate. Over her shoulder, she tells Thea, Felicity and Ray that they need to transport Oliver into STAR Labs. Cisco then immediately breaches her, Alex, Kara, Barry and himself straight into their med bay.

"Just lay him down," she instructs Kara, going into what Cisco refers to as full-doctor mode. "And get that _thing_ off him."

As she rummages around for her drip bags and needles, Kara gently rips off the collar around his neck and crushes the thing without even blinking. Alex is already controlling the bleeding with an ungodly amount of gauze; Kara tells her sister that she can just close up the wounds with her heat vision, as Superman did with Oliver.

"Okay, okay," Alex says, slowly peeling off the red stained gauze. "Do it."

She stands back and watches in morbid fascination as Kara's eyes tighten and a precise beam of light from each eye singe Barry's skin but effectively close up his wounds and stop the bleeding.

She decides that, since the bleeding has been controlled, they'll deal with that later; right now, the sharp angles of Barry's face will definitely haunt her dreams. She deftly inserts an IV line into the back of his hand, tapes it so it doesn't budge and sets it to flow through quickly.

God, he's even more malnourished than Oliver. The skin on the back of his hand isn't elastic and it scares her that he's practically dangerously dehydrated, almost to the point that he shouldn't even be alive.

Despite having worn the collar that temporarily severed his connection to the Speed Force, he still needs to consume food and drink water just as regularly as he had.

"Kara," Alex says as she attaches Barry to the heart monitor and sticks the pulse oximetry on his forefinger.

She's frantic. "What?"

"X-Ray vision. Tell me how his ribs are?"

She doesn't have time to ask and chat about such a fascinating power (Do you know how useful it is to have that power? Especially in a world full of heroes that tend to hide their broken bones just because they think their injuries are an inconvenience? Grow up! She's a doctor for this team for a reason). Kara glances down at Barry's torso as she sticks electrodes on his temples to keep track of his brain activity. The blonde stares for a few seconds before straightening out and blinking rapidly.

"He has three broken ribs, five bruised ones."

"His organs? Is he bleeding internally?"

"His organs seem... fine, but I'm not the best judge. I don't see any internal bleeding—"

Beeping interrupts her. There's a high-pitched staccato beeping that demands their attention as Barry's body jerks violently. His eyes are half-open and saliva escapes his mouth, bloodstained from what she suspects is from a wound he's bitten. Eyes quickly dart to the clock: it's 05:13. She looks up at the EEG machine and isn't surprised to see the high spikes but it scares her to see just how bad it is.

"What's happening?" Kara cries out. She understands; it's horrific to one who isn't exposed to such medical abnormalities.

"He's seizing!" She elaborates. She knows it's because they'd ripped off the wires attached to him prematurely in the ship. But there's also a possibility it's because he's essentially _starved_ and _dehydrated_.

"Shouldn't we hold him down?"

"No, don't! I'm not gonna risk him breaking any more bones!" She points at a cupboard behind Kara. "Grab a pillow! Alex, help me turn him on his side!"

Both the sisters do as their told. As soon as Kara retrieves the pillow, she takes it and places it under Barry's head to keep him from causing any further injuries.

It's agonizing to watch Barry like this all over again. It's like back in 2014 when he was first wheeled in and she had to watch him get seizures almost every week. Medical mystery Barry Allen was, getting seizures when the monitors dictate he had no heart rhythm. Of course, a couple months down the line, they realize it's because his heart was actually beating _too fast_ for the EKG to pick up.

The difference between then and now is that she knows Barry. He's not some enigma meant to be solved, he's a friend she has to get back.

This is Barry Allen. The Flash. He _has_ to come back from the hell he's been put through because he's Barry.

She eyes the clock carefully as she waits for Barry's seizure to run its course, timing it so she'll know if it's worse than they think.

Eventually, before the clock reaches 05:17, the beeping stops and Barry's body relaxes.

But then that's when the loud steady noise starts.

"He's coding," she says in low voice before springing into action. "Vitals are dropping quick! Alex, the oxygen! Kara, stand back!"

She rolls Barry back from the recovery position. With one hand over the other on his chest, she starts doing compressions with a rhythm she can sort of zone out of. But she can't, not with Kara sobbing in front of her. She glances at her best friend, just remembering he's been here this whole time, crying silently on his own, and says, "Can you take Kara out?"

"No! I'm staying right here!"

Like Oliver, there's that almost-insanity that glazes over her eyes as she desperately watches Barry.

Right. She remembers they're soulmates: her and Barry. Then Thea told her Oliver's also their soulmate. She realizes it's not just worry on Kara's and Oliver's part; all three of these people are tethered together by the order of the universe. Both Kara and Oliver can feel to a certain degree what Barry has gone through, his _pain_ , if their reactions are anything to go by.

She's not heartless.

She tells the blonde hero that she and Alex can't work with distractions and right now? They can't afford to have any.

She's lost Ronnie — her own soulmate — _twice_. And it almost literally _killed_ her. But she's moved past it, thanks to Evil Wells (in his own spectacularly deceiving way), Cisco, Iris and, most importantly, Barry.

She doesn't want to find out just how much it would hurt to lose Barry. He's one of her closest friends and he stuck by her side through everything. He's proven to her so many times that he trusts her through and through; he even trusted her enough to place his life in her hands when she was in the crossroads of completely losing it to Killer Frost.

 _"C'mon. Kill me, Caitlin." The sharp piece of ice felt heavy in her trembling hand. "You can't do it. You can't. Because underneath all that cold, you're still you."_

She has to trust in herself now, to not lose control because if Barry believes in her, she can too.

Ice beneath skin but she's covered in a thin sheen of sweat.

She can't lose someone so important to her, so integral in her life. No. Not again.

"I'll stand by the corner! Just— _please_ don't make me leave!"

She allows that one compromise.

The double doors burst open and it's Thea, Diggle, Felicity and Ray wheeling Oliver in on a gurney.

God, not _now_.

"Is Barry _dying?_ " Felicity yells in a panic but doesn't come any closer, and she grateful Felicity's smart enough to know that she and Alex need the space.

"What's happening?" Diggle asks. He and Ray push Oliver up to the bed next to Barry's, lifting him up and settling him in. Oliver's still unconscious, thank goodness.

"He just..."

The rest of Alex's sentence die when the screeching from the monitors stop and resumes to display the reading on Barry's vitals that are slowly starting to stabilize. She lets go of a breath she doesn't realize she's been holding and drops her hands to her sides. She exhales shakily, holding still for a moment in case anything goes wrong again. After a few seconds tick by, she lets her hands do their thing again.

She grabs the blood pressure cuff and puts it around Barry's left bicep, letting the sphygmomanometer do its thing. Seeing the drip bag finished, she fishes out a new one and replenishes Barry's IV. She grabs her tablet and makes quick notes of Barry's vitals. She shudders at how low his blood pressure is and how high his heart rate is; his temperature is significantly high: a hundred and six degrees, but that's to be expected from someone that's severely dehydrated. She inserts an endotracheal tube down his throat, straight into his airway to ventilate. With a couple of broken bones and the pulse oximetry displaying a low oxygen level, she knows he's having difficulty breathing, and having the tube sending oxygen straight to his lungs instead of relying on a mask or a nasal cannula gives her some semblance of a sense of peace.

People are talking around her but she's not listening. She's drowned herself in her work because she _has to work_.

She moves on to working on Oliver. There isn't much to do since Gideon has done much of the heavy lifting. All she does is attach him to the monitors, give him a drip and connects him to the ventilator with a nasal cannula.

As she's running the cannula over Oliver's ears, she can see Alex walk over to tell Kara to head outside, soak in the yellow sun before it goes completely dark so she can heal further and even gather more strength. She's surprised it doesn't take much coaxing. Kara nods and heads out the door.

But then the beeping starts again. On _both_ Oliver's and Barry's monitors.

Of course.

"It's their soulmate bond that's keeping them stable... Kara! Come back!"

It'll all be okay.

She knows now.

She's going to fix them up.

She's a doctor.

That's her job.

Ice beneath skin. She grabs her handbag and fishes out the charger to her cuffs. She works best without ice beneath her skin.

* * *

 _I know. Not as exciting as the previous chapter, I admit._

 _Shameless self-promotion: come say hi/follow me on tumblr at temmie-loony. I post WAY TOO MUCH Karivarry stuff on there that I can't really put into fics._

 _AN:_ _I'm no damn science person, much less a medical one, but I tried. *cue me closing all my tabs of Youtube videos and medical articles so I can at least make this somewhat believable*_

 _Actually, this was supposed to come out first week of September._ _As I said on my last fic, I struggle with bad carpal tunnel syndrome and chronic leg pain that I was supposed to take a break for a month._ _But my carpal tunnel surgery was postponed from last week to today so I've devoted the past week to writing this so the wait for the next chapter won't be as long._

 _Thank you._


	11. Eleven: Clark

_I know what you're thinking, which is probably something along the lines of "about fucking time!" (Pardon my language)_

 _THIS IS WAY LONG OVERDUE AND I TRULY AM SORRY FOR MAKING YOU ALL WAIT BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE SUPPORT AND YOUR AMAZING PATIENCE. A LOT OF THINGS HAPPENED... AND WELL, YOU DON'T NEED THAT. WHAT YOU DO NEED IS A GODDAMN UPDATE._

 _ANYWAY, THANK YOU FOR WAITING._

* * *

 **Warning: VERY MUCH OOC CLARK/SUPERMAN.**

* * *

He's _livid_.

It'd been nearing twilight, with the sky stretching a mesmerizing orange and purple. Lois had been in his arms as they had basked in the luxury of a day off they so rarely get because the news never sleeps.

Then his phone had gone off.

"It's Alex," he had told Lois.

Alex had said Kara was off-world; he had assumed his cousin had finally gone to whichever Earth Barry is from to meet his family and whatnot. He'd been happy, almost about to tell Lois but...

But that hadn't been the case at all.

 _"It'_ _s a distress signal. She's_ hurt _, Clark!"_

He hadn't known how to react but after stealing one look at his fiancée, who'd been staring at him with great concern, he had known exactly what to do.

He had quickly kissed her goodbye, promising to stay safe, before shooting out of their apartment's window, already in his famous red and blue garb. He'd broken the sound barrier and before anyone could point at him in wonder, he was already in the DEO.

There had been no question about it: he and Alex were to travel to Earth-1, to one of Kara's soulmate's own universe, leaving their own Earth behind to the very capable hands of J'onn, Mon-El, Imra and Jimmy.

"Bring her back."

He smashes into the Dominators' mothership.

They had already brought her back. Her and Barry and their other soulmate.

This time, he seeks to avenge them.

*—*—*—*—*

Surrounded by unconscious Dominators at his feet, he has the leader's throat in his hand.

He can almost hear Diana's voice, trying to calm him down to remind him that this isn't him. He can almost hear Bruce telling him not to give in, not to kill for revenge, not to be exactly the kind of people they work hard to fight against.

But it's all different. This isn't a mere bank robber or a serial killer; this is the head of the race that mass murdered his entire race and hurt his last living relative.

 _"We were doing your cousin a favor, Kal-El,"_ the Dominator spits out in his own language.

He can still feel the presence of the kryptonite on the ship. It feels like liquid fire, searing in his veins; like needles in his bloodstream. It's _agonizing_ , and he can't even begin to fathom how much worse it must have been for Kara, who had been trapped here for _days_.

He dips deeper in his rage.

 _"Favor?"_ He hisses back in their language. He considers crushing his windpipe. It would be so easy to just add a bit more pressure—

 _"There is an evil coming. An evil far greater than what you perceive my race to be. You have united two worlds, Kara Zor-El has united two dimensions. You've sent a beacon across the multiverse. You have proven yourselves to be worthy. Your fate is in your hands."_

He shouldn't, but he bites. _"What are you talking about?"_

 _"Perhaps nothing. Perhaps all I speak are lies."_

He lets go of the Dominator, shoving him to the floor, pulling as much of his strength to the measure of a human's.

 _"Leave. Go back to wherever planet or dimension you're from. If you come back, we'll be ready."_

 _"Yes, we will leave but know we are not the enemy here. Remember these words,_ _Kal-El of Krypton, Dimension-38: when the skies tear open and bleed of red lightning, you and everyone you love will perish."_

He's Superman. He's known for his leniency and forgiving nature that comes with his moral code. He's renowned as a hero because his strength lies beyond his powers.

But this time, he isn't able to reign back his anger. The Dominator had essentially threatened his family, his friends, his _world_ that he had long sworn to protect.

He punches the Dominator in the face with just enough power to ensure unconsciousness.

"Well that was a colorful conversation."

He turns to find Nate and Sara there standing amidst the fallen aliens. They seem to be all right, save for a few bruises on their skin and, in Sara's case, her ribs.

Sara twirls her batons. "Wanna translate what he said?"

He stays still for a second, long enough for a speedster to notice but fortunately, there are none around.

 _"When the skies tear open and bleed of red lightning_... _"_ comes ringing in his ears, unable to shake away the dread and terror of whatever that threat means.

"I think it would be better for us to talk in the Waverider. I don't want to stress Kara any further."

Sara stares at him, most likely trying to decipher on her own what the Dominator had said. "Sure."

*—*—*—*—*

"My only question is... why are the Dominators so... _Shakespearean_ , you know? Like why speak in riddles?" Cisco comments from his place on the floor.

He hadn't wanted to join this 'meeting of the brawn' as he'd called it, but then Sara had mentioned it would be held in the Waverider and he'd been all over that.

"Really? _That's_ your only question?" Thea says.

"Or better yet, you only have _one_ question?" Wally, next to Thea, adds.

HR cheekily points a drumstick at Cisco. "As far as questions go, it's not a bad one."

"Are we really more concerned about the type of question Cisco has to offer over whatever it is the Dominator meant?" Felicity says. Ray lands his hand over Felicity's in a soothing manner.

"Mister Kent, if you don't mind me asking, what else did the Dominator mention?" Professor Stein asks him.

He stands straighter and crosses his arms over his chest. "He said that I united two worlds and Kara united two dimensions..."

"United two worlds..." Ray repeats. "You're an alien, who grew up here - or well, your own Earth. That should be obvious, right? And Kara, two dimensions. That means her bond to Barry and Oliver."

"So the skies splitting open means... what? Supergirl and Superman's Earth is going to merge with ours?" Cisco asks.

Ray shrugs.

"Or it could mean your two Earths will collide and cause everything to die," HR says.

Everyone stares at him.

"What? Did he not say _'everyone you love will perish?_ "

There's a pause and the room stays still.

There it is again: that image of losing Lois in his arms, the light dim in his Ma's eyes, Kara catching her last breath, Alex, Jimmy, Bruce, Diana... He's no stranger to threats, as heroes become acclimated to that... but there had been a chilling truth that had rung in the Dominator's voice. He remembers how the Dominator himself had looked terrified of whatever evil he meant.

The tension in the room is thick, almost like everyone is thinking the same thing about their own loved ones.

They had won the battle.

Their heads hang low and their bodies are battered with exhaustion.

There's a war coming, they know. They haven't won that yet.

For now...

Now what?

* * *

 _AN: I'll admit it okay? Not my best chapter but I really needed to push against my roadblock. Usually I end up deleting stories that make it to ten chapters, but I really had to make this one work because I'm really proud of it._

 _In case you didn't know, ya girl makes YouTube videos on the side so if ya wanna check it out, my YouTube channel is Temmie Loony._

 _Oh and if you didn't already know, I'm an idiot and shouldn't be left alone with my thoughts, but for the majority of my day, I am, so feel free to follow me on Twitter TemmieLoony to witness me being a disaster in life? I don't know how to promo lol._

 _I should stop promising when next chapters will be up because... I'm very inconsistent. But oh well, y'all signed up for this mess! Love you all!_


	12. Twelve: Oliver

_AN: HOORAY TO PRODUCTIVITY!_

* * *

The sun beats down, harsh heat biting into his raw skin. The waves crash into the shore unforgivingly, consequently splashing violently into his face. The water invades his lungs but he isn't drowning.

Instead, he's choking on anger, on rage that consumes every drop of his blood. His muscles twitch every so often from the trying to control himself from lashing out. He's _seething_ , and the worst part is he can't explain _why_.

Then, on the other side of the spectrum, his chest aches of guilt.

No, not guilt.

 _Shame,_ he's full of it.

And... he's scared, held hostage by the kind of fear one has for dying too young, unaccomplished, unloved, or at all. He's courted with death since his delinquent days when he'd binged on alcohol and raced cars like his mortality was guaranteed simply because his parents were rich, and now he's been masquerading as a hero trying to correct the wrongs of his city one arrow at a time.

He's long been introduced to danger and he knows his time ticks closer to the end every single time he picks up his bow.

That's who he is; that's who he's been since the day he had gotten on that yacht.

He's no stranger to pain; he's gone through hell for years.

His nails dig into his palm as he tries to rein in the anger, the shame, the fear... _the loneliness._

Water slaps his face again; he coughs and catches his breath as he makes himself look at his dead father with a bullet hole right through his head.

"I'm sorry, Dad," he cries. "I failed you. I failed _everyone_."

* * *

 _AN:_ _Oof I should get off the internet for now and just freaking study already xD_


	13. Thirteen: Kara

**Big disclaimer: ALL MEDICAL JARGON USED HERE IS COMPLETE BS AND COMPLETELY FABRICATED. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. AT ALL. PLEASE DON'T BELIEVE ME. THANK YOU.**

* * *

She wakes to the sound of a chair scraping and hushed voices, to the smell of newly brewed coffee and sugar, to the heat from the pair of sunlamps, to the crushing guilt and blinding fury settled deep within her chest ever since Cisco and Alex had thankfully forced her back to reality.

"You need to go home, Iris," she hears Caitlin whisper in between sips. The young doctor's heartbeat is quick, stammering in her ribcage. She can't tell if it's from stress or from the copious amounts of caffeine she's sure to have taken in the last few hours to keep herself awake. Maybe both.

"Says you," Iris retorts, voice low and raw. "Just because you somehow got my dad and Wally and Thea to go home doesn't mean I'll budge."

"They're my patients," Caitlin argues.

"One of them's my brother," Iris counters back.

A pause and a sigh. "You need sleep, Iris."

The tone of Iris' voice is firm. "I'm not leaving Barry... or _you_. You know that."

Caitlin huffs and it sounds like she's putting her coffee cup down on a table. "I'll be fine, Iris. My bracelets are charged. I'm not gonna lose control. If things goes sideways, Kara's right here."

It's Iris' turn to sigh. "You know that's not what I meant."

Even _she_ knows what Iris had meant, but she supposes it's Caitlin's way of deflecting, of not talking about the elephant in the room she knows Iris is going to dig out of her; she seems to have a talent for it.

"I..." Caitlin's voice trembles, fear caught in the young doctor's throat like a cough that refuses to go away. "I can't wake them up. I can't wake _Barry_ up."

"Caitlin..."

But it seems like Iris' voice has fallen on deaf ears.

"I'm a _doctor_ and I can't even do my job right."

"Caitlin."

"I-I... I can't wake him up and it's _my fault!_ You heard _everything_ that I said to him, Iris. You _know_ what I did. And he _still_ believed in me, even after _everything_. But you didn't see his face when I said the things I did. He's been hurting for _a long time._ Iris, this is my fault—"

"Cait!" Iris manages to interrupt. "You weren't _you_ ," She continues softly with an undeniable grade of conviction.

"No, you don't _understand!_ "

She shivers, hoping the action goes unnoticed by the two.

She shivers, not because of the perceptive drop of the temperature in the room but because of the raw anger in Caitlin's statement. The frustration, the loathing... it's all bubbling underneath Caitlin's skin and she knows that she's been wanting... _needing_ to let it all out.

"Iris," Caitlin continues, and the way her voice cracks gets to her. She hasn't met Caitlin long but she knows just how important she is to Barry; it almost feels like they've been friends for as long as Barry had started talking about her and the other members of Team Flash. "Cisco told me what happened. When he and Kara... When..." Caitlin takes a breath. "Everything Cisco told him— everything _I_ told him... it keeps playing inside his head over and _over and over again_."

There's that clawing feeling in her chest again, just beneath her sternum. It's an aching feeling she'd say is akin to distress, or maybe empathy.

She remembers being there, standing next to Cisco, who had resigned to simply watch in deafening silence as she had kept on pounding greatly against Barry's mental defenses. She probably shouldn't have, remembering Barry's winces every time she hit his mental shields but... she couldn't think of any alternative. What else could she have done, really? Nothing.

All brute strength, that's all she had to offer.

She remembers Cisco's disembodied voice echoing ominously, hollering at Barry every mistake he's made and will forever regret. She remembers Caitlin's condescending voice, Wally's scared one, his parents'... and her own voice. Words she'd never even dreamed of saying, much less think of, telling him she wishes she'd never met him.

She knows the mind can be a twisted place but...

Does Barry really think that's what _she_ thinks?

She can recall hearing Iris' voice, but she knows that'd been fictitious too. Iris would never say that to Barry.

But Caitlin had.

Like Cisco had.

"Cait—"

"Don't. Just... don't."

"It'll be okay—"

"Sure, it _might_ be but it won't be the same."

Iris doesn't respond this time.

Because Caitlin's right.

After a few beats of tense silence on both ends, she realizes she needs to make her wakefulness known so she doesn't end up eavesdropping anymore of a conversation she knows should be kept between the two.

She first exhales deeply and loudly before stretching and opening her eyes. She's greeted to bright lights and bright expressive faces, as if a few minutes ago never happened. Had she truly been unconscious, she would never have guessed such a conversation could have happened.

"Good morning," Caitlin greets, gentle smile on her face. "Coffee?"

She shakes her head. "No thanks."

"C'mon, you haven't had anything to eat _or_ drink in a while."

"Hey, I had pizza a while ago."

"That was two days ago."

"You haven't even slept in a real bed," Iris chimes in.

She gives Iris a look. "And when's the last time you did?"

Iris leans back against her chair. "Touché."

Caitlin, undeterred, loops her way around to her as she takes a box from one of the tables and hands it to her. Without even having to use her x-ray vision, she can tell it's a box of doughnuts. She'd know it from the smell alone.

"Alex told us to give this to you."

The edges of her mouth tug upwards to resemble a ghost of a smile as she thinks of her sister always taking care for her. She truly is lucky to have Alex in her life.

She can hear Alex talking to her now: _"If you can't eat as much as you normally do,_ try. _You need to_ _keep your strength up. God knows you'll need it, especially now..."_

"She went back to National City?" She opens the box and takes a cruller.

Caitlin purses her lips. "Yes but only for a few hours. She said she just needed to check on Maggie and the DAO—

"DEO," she corrects.

"Right. She'll be back soon. Super— I mean, Clark... he said that he needed to go back for good."

She nods. Their world can't be absent of at least one Super for too long; some really bad things could happen. She takes a bite from a cruller. "How long has it been since they left?"

"About two hours," Iris answers.

"Okay."

She chews in silence for a while. She looks over at Barry, longing to see those green eyes of his that she loves to get lost in. She stares, a lot weighing down on her mind that she doesn't even notice Caitlin has been calling her name until fingers snap in front of her face.

So much for super hearing.

"I'm sorry, what?" She says sheepishly.

"I said, are you okay?" Caitlin asks, looking at her with concern.

She tilts her head a bit in confusion. "Yeah, why?"

Both the women share a doubtful look before returning their attention to her. Being under the scrutiny of two perceptive people makes her squirm a bit.

"You've been rubbing your chest," Caitlin points out. "Are you in any pain?"

" _Can_ she feel pain?" Iris whispers in Caitlin's direction. It seems Iris has forgotten she has super hearing.

She brings her hand down immediately but it's too late, she'd been caught. "I'm fine. Really. It's just... Ever since Alex and Cisco woke me up, I'm just so... I don't know, it feels like I can't breathe." She shrugs. "I'm sure it's nothing."

"Can't breath?" Iris repeats alarmingly.

"No! Not like... _can't_ -cant but... umm..." She doesn't know how to describe it really, just that it almost always feels so overwhelming. "It just feels like... like... I don't know, I guess I'm just so angry and terrified... and worried... and worthless about..." She trails off, opting to instead look pointedly in the direction of Barry and Oliver.

"Trauma," Caitlin says with an apologetic expression. "It's understandable, given what happened to you."

Her lips press together in annoyance. She squeezes her eyes shut, remembering her childhood therapist.

 _"—trauma—"_

 _"—traumatic event—"_

 _"—trauma."_

 _"Because of trauma."_

Once again, she's gone through something _traumatic_ and she's powerless to stop it, powerless to so much as help her soulmates because once again she's crippled by _trauma!_

"Hey," one of them says, she isn't sure who. "Kara?"

She opens her eyes and she can feel traitor tears pricking.

Damn.

"Do... Do you want to talk about it?" Caitlin asks carefully.

"No," she says automatically, like a gag reflex.

"Do you want the room?" Iris asks, knowing she can't leave because her soulmate bond is, in layman's terms, Barry and Oliver's life support.

Deeper the fury and the fear claw beneath her sternum like a raging battle between a tsunami and a volcanic eruption, she says calmly, "Yes. _Please_."

When they leave and the door clicks shut behind them, she takes Barry's hand in hers and cries.

"Come back to me."

Her plea goes unanswered.

She cries harder.

"Come back to me."

#

It's about half an hour later when the door reopens.

"Kara..."

Her eyes widen and she looks back.

"Alex."

Older sister strides forward and embraces her with as much strength as she is capable, and she receives it gladly. She can feel the relief pour out of her as she melts into Alex's hold.

Alex pulls back and bows her head in what looks like shame. "I'm so sorry for leaving you alone—"

"No!" She interrupts quickly. "No, it's okay. You had some stuff to take care of. How's Maggie?"

Alex sighs. "Maggie's fine."

"And... everyone else?"

"Everyone else is fine. It's you we're all worried about. Mom's really worried about you."

"Eliza..." she says softly. She'd left their own Earth without so much as a message to her adoptive mother.

"Yeah. I told her we'd call as soon as..." The rest of Alex's sentence dies. They both know what the continuation is.

Silence beats on for a while, with her clinging on to Alex like a lifeline she'd long been deprived of. Alex's damned unfinished sentence sends her into a spiral of withering hope.

"You need to eat," Alex tells her.

She laughs once, weakly. "I ate that box of doughnuts you left me."

"That's a start. You need more."

"I'm fine."

"Kara."

 _Right_. She knows Alex's argument. She's her soulmate's life support; she needs to keep her strength up. But she can't keep food down, not with anxiety running up and down her system like a hurricane that found its home.

More traitor tears prick her eyes again.

"Will—" She abruptly cuts herself off and winces. " _When_ will they wake up?" She corrects herself. She bites the inside of her cheek, refusing to ask the question she had almost voiced out instead: _"will they wake up?"_

The alternative is _not_ an option.

It _can't_ be an option.

Alex glances at the two unconscious men before looking down at her boots. "I can't lie to you and say they'll be awake in a few hours."

"But—"

"But I _did_ look over Oliver's charts, his scans and the notes Caitlin made. He should be awake by now."

Her eyes widen at Alex's statement.

Oliver should be awake? Then why isn't he awake yet?

One of the arms to her chair snaps under her palm.

There's that anger again.

She's mad, so incredibly furious at Oliver.

He had gone ahead and rejected her and Barry when in reality, he needs them just as much as they need him. But instead of taking their bond, he pushes them away. To him, keeping her and Barry at arm's length is a necessary sacrifice to keep them from getting hurt.

 _Bullshit._

But then again...

She gets it.

She's one of the few people in a scattered collection of heroes across the multiverse to really understand the struggle of keeping a secret identity. She has to keep finding that balance to let both of her lives co-exist seamlessly, otherwise she'd lose her mind or her loved ones. Only a select few can know her secret. The thought of any of her villains using her friends, her _family_ , against her makes her chest constrict with a kind of heaviness she knows she won't be able to live with.

From what she's gathered, Oliver is a man who has seen more horrors than her and Barry and probably this entire facility combined so, yes, she truly does understand his motivation.

But... as her family had taught her, as what her family's coat of arms says: _el mayarah,_ or _"stronger together."_ A unit can only be as strong as it actually is, not what it perceives to be. There is strength in numbers, and she has to make Oliver see that.

She has to _make_ him believe that.

She has to make the man, who isolates himself all in the name of what he calls protection, see that _it's okay_ , that he's allowed his happiness.

But to do that, he has to wake up.

"I don't know why he's still not conscious," Alex continues, stepping away to retrieve Caitlin's tablet. "According to Caitlin's notes, Gideon has done a pretty good job mending a majority of Oliver's injuries. I saw his MRI scans. He's definitely out of the woods now."

Her eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Do you think it has something to do with... I don't know, our bond?" She asks, not really sure what else to question. Does she have to... do something? Does she have to use willpower or something to wake them up? Is that what this is?

Alex swipes at the tablet, presumably to the next set of images or notes. "Could be but..." Alex pauses and zooms in on something. Alex' eyes widen as she realizes something.

"What?" She demands.

"I'll be right back."

#

It's exactly four minutes and a half when Alex comes back with Cisco in tow.

This only confuses her further. "Uhh Alex? What's going on?"

Judging by the look on Cisco's face, he's just as lost as she is. "Yeah, Alex, what's going on?" Cisco asks as he nervously glances in her direction."Because I kinda have something to get back to—"

"I need you to take Kara to Oliver's mind," Alex tells Cisco carefully, as if she were speaking to a child.

"What?" She and Cisco sputter at the same time.

Alex ignores their reaction. "Can you take her there alone? Without you?"

"Girl, I'm still getting a grip on my powers. Being a subconscious Uber isn't exactly a walk in the park. Now having to get a passenger to a destination without actually driving the car? That's a little outside my wheelhouse."

"No time like the present to learn more about your powers right?" Alex says and motions her to get up.

"What exactly is the plan here, Alex?" She asks as she stands.

"Oliver is fine. He should be well on his way to a full recovery but for some reason, he's still not awake. I looked over Caitlin's scans again and you were right."

She gawks. "About our bond?"

"Yes. People aren't meant to reject their soulmates. To be separated by death is one thing but rejection is completely unnatural. One of Oliver's scans shows that there has been damage on his amygdala, the part in our brains that regulates emotions, and, more significantly, on his amorvita gland, a part in our brains that is linked to soulmate bonds. I've never seen damage like that on someone who's soulmates aren't dead."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, he isn't able to wake up because a part of his brain is damaged so severely, his body is trying to compensate and fix the problem by keeping him in a coma."

She digests what her sister is saying and realizes: "Wait. So if the Dominators had never come in the first place and... kidnap us _—_ "

Alex's face is grim yet apologetic. "He'd be dead."

#

Before any real decision can be made, Caitlin is consulted because, after all, she is the primary physician.

"I say go for it," Caitlin says after doing her routine of checking Oliver's vitals. "Alex is right. I don't know how I could have I missed it."

Iris holds Caitlin's hand and squeezes. "You're tired."

And so they go for it.

"Remember," Alex begins to tell her, "all you have to do is convince him to accept you and Barry for a bond to form. That should get him to wake up soon, if not right then."

It's fallen solely on her now: this responsibility of convincing Oliver. She can do this.

"Ready?" Cisco asks as he places a hand on Oliver's shoulder.

She nods once and clasps his hand.

The world stammers around her before she's greeted to green and bright.

As far as she can tell, she's on some island. Mess of tall green trees surrounds her almost threateningly. The sky is a bleak gray of desolation, like it's ready to weep but not just yet. Cisco is nowhere to be found so she guesses he's getting the hang of his powers well.

She wanders around a bit and she realizes—as she struggles to ascend a steep hill—that she's completely absent of her powers here.

Wherever here is.

Now that she thinks about it, had she been powerless in Barry's mind too?

She emerges from the forest and finds herself on a shore that's full of kelp and stones and a man.

It's him.

"Oliver?" She says tentatively.

Oliver doesn't turn; he probably didn't hear her. His body stays seated in the water. As she inches her way closer, she can see that there's someone else next to him, laying on his side as birds keep circling them in the sky.

"You shouldn't be here," Oliver yells, voice loud enough to challenge the roar of the water and be picked up by the capacity of human ears, which she's been reduced to.

"Neither should you," she hollers back. She decides to sit next to him, opposite of whoever it is laying on his side. Waves roll onto her, drenching her clothes but she doesn't care.

Oliver smiles, void of all happiness. "This is where I ended up for five years after my family's yacht sank."

Her eyes widen at the revelation. Oliver is a survivor of a shipwreck? Her mouth opens but she doesn't know what to say.

Oliver stands and motions her to follow her. She does. She takes one last glance at the man laying down and it turns out to be a dead body. The birds swoop down and peck at his face.

She runs to catch up to Oliver, now making his way back into the forest. They trek along, him slowing down once in a while to allow her to catch up, and he tells her:

"It had been down to me, my father and a crew member, with enough food and water to last a couple days, maybe. Then my father killed the crew member, looked me in the eye and told me to survive then shot himself in the head." He pauses then looks at her. "I'm not telling you this to make you feel sorry or to make you forgive me." He tears his gaze away and looks at the horizon; the skies seem even darker. "I'm telling you this because ever since that day, I've done nothing but survive. Even when I went back to Star City, all I do is try and keep my head above the water to _survive_.

"Then I met John and Felicity. I rekindled my friendship with my best friends. My kid sister still recognized me. My mom was there. I had Sara back. And it was almost like I was allowed to live again. But then my best friends died. My mother was killed. Thea died. Sara left. I lost John's trust. And it suddenly felt like the world didn't want me to live. Like I'm only meant to live as a weapon for the rest of my life.

"When I met Barry, everything in my gut told me to accept him. I wanted to. I _needed_ him. But I remembered Tommy dying in my arms and I didn't want my own soulmate to die because of me... so I rejected him. Then I met you and I kept seeing everyone who I loved keep on dying and I..."

They stop in front of a cave.

Her hand comes up to her chest, massaging at her sternum as emotions run haywire beneath it. It _hurts_ so much. She lets the tears fall.

She knows Oliver has gone through so much in his life, but she had never imagined something remotely close to that. Her heart aches for him.

"I was wrong to reject you and Barry. I know that. I've _always_ known that. But just know, it was the only way I knew to protect you." He faces her and looks straight into her eyes. "I don't know where my apology should even begin and I know I don't deserve your forgiveness..."

She closes her eyes, hating this flurry of guilt in her chest. She shouldn't feel guilty being mad at him; she has a right to it. "What made you change your mind about it?" _Your rejection_ , goes unspoken but very much heard.

"The Dominators."

"The dreams," she says agreeably.

"No," He says immediately with a humorless laugh. "Not the dreams. It was after, actually. When Cisco and Thea brought me out, all I could concentrate on was Barry and you. I had to see you, to see that you were okay. In the dreams, it was hard to distinguish which people were real and which were just conjured by my subconscious. But you two, I knew you were real. And when I woke up, I could feel both of you."

She opens her eyes and finds Oliver now facing her. "What do you mean 'feel both of us?'"

"I... I don't know. But I do know those weren't my emotions I was feeling."

She stops rubbing at her chest.

The anger.

The guilt.

The fear.

The _worthlessness_.

It's an amplified mess of her, Oliver and Barry.

"Are you saying we can feel each other's emotions?"

"Are you saying you can't?"

Her eyes narrow in anger, hurt and suspicion. "Then are you _really_ guilty?" She challenges. "Do you really regret rejecting us," she takes a step forward and grits her teeth, jabbing Oliver's collarbone with her forefinger,"or is Barry's emotions or even mine manipulating your train of thought?"

Oliver closes his eyes and breathes out through his nose. When he opens his eyes again, she's astounded for a second by the hue of his eyes: a piercing blue that reminds her of the perfect skies whenever she takes flight. He's never really looked at her like that outside of the dreams, and she finds it utterly unfair.

She can feel it: the pull that demands her to get closer to him and... now that she thinks about it, the pain from being rejected by him is gone.

He's being truthful.

A bond has formed.

"I'm sorry," he says, full of sincerity and sorrow.

The pain of guilt grows stronger within her, bubbling to the brim.

A part of her wants to make him suffer, to make him know the pain Barry had gone through for _years_. God is she mad.

But another part of her just wants to move forward with what they have. This has been what she's been dreaming of since her childhood: to have both of her soulmates.

She bows her head and presses her forehead against his chest.

"You gave Barry so much pain—"

"I know."

"—and you hurt me too. I..."

He hesitates but eventually slowly brings his arms around her, embracing her. "I'm sorry."

She sobs. "We'll figure it out."

His arms around her tighten. "We will."

They leave his subconscious.

She opens her eyes to several new people in the room, all anxiously waiting for the plan to have worked and for Oliver to wake up.

Oliver does.

The room erupts into roars of variations of Oliver's name.

Thea cries and engulfs her brother in a tight embrace. "I'm so glad you're okay."

Felicity moves towards her and hugs her to thank her, stuttering something along the lines of indecipherable gratitude.

John pats a hand on her shoulder and gives her a nod, relieved.

She catches Oliver's eye and she can feel it: she's begun to forgive him.

* * *

 ** _The amorvita gland doesn't exist. I made that up._**

 _ALL MISTAKES WILL BE EDITED LATER. IN THE MORNING. MAYBE._

 _Shameless self-promotion: come say hi/follow me on tumblr at temmie-loony. I post WAY TOO MUCH Karivarry stuff on there that I can't really put into fics._

 _Also, I made a YouTube channel, where I made three Karivarry videos :) It's called Temmie Loony._

 _Oh didya know I have a Twitter? Feel free to follow me TemmieLoony._

 _Also a hint of Snowest. :) Yay!_


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